confusion

[Aspergers_Aspie]

I remember I used to date a fellow Aspie, one time she was sitting on a seat in a Mall waiting on me and when I got back she said later a man sat at the seat closest to her when others were available, both her and I found that odd. I've been in coffee shops and have also been confused when another customer has sat it seems deliberately facing me, if the coffee shop has had plenty of seats and tables to choose from. (these events were before covid)

 

[OkRad]

Agreed. I went to a gym once with 100 treadmills and I was the only one in there. Someone came along and took up the one right next to me. I was perplexed. It made no sense at all. I packed up and moved to the end. Just move if it happens.

 

[SDRSpark]

Agreed. I went to a gym once with 100 treadmills and I was the only one in there. Someone came along and took up the one right next to me. I was perplexed. It made no sense at all. I packed up and moved to the end. Just move if it happens.

That annoys the crap out of me!!!! I didn't realize this was a common thing...I don't think much of it, I'm just like REALLY???WHY??? I don't find it threatening, just really annoying, because I like to be pretty far away from strangers and definitely don't want to be right next to someone else's gym stank.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Some people are simply "social butterflies",...and just need to be in close proximity to others, perhaps in some hope that a friendly conversation will trigger. Some people, may have other motives, like a potential dating experience. Some people, like some autistics, are simply poor at reading body language and social cues. Some people are just "creeps" with less than friendly motives. Whatever the case, I agree, as an autistic, I am a bit anxious and "weirded out" by others encroaching into my personal space without invitation.

 

[SusanLR]

Perhaps they are taking notes for the Illuminati.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

Sounds unpleasent

That annoys the crap out of me!!!! I didn't realize this was a common thing...I don't think much of it, I'm just like REALLY???WHY??? I don't find it threatening, just really annoying, because I like to be pretty far away from strangers and definitely don't want to be right next to someone else's gym stank.

 

[Kit]

For me it doesn't matter who is sitting where or who is using what, if I sit in a certain spot or use a certain treadmill, I will go to that spot no matter who is there. I find it strange when people ask me "Can I sit here?" when I have nothing of mine in their way of sitting or when someone goes "Can I use this?" and I am thinking "Dude why are you even asking? I can't tell you not to because I don't own it."

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

For me it doesn't matter who is sitting where or who is using what, if I sit in a certain spot or use a certain treadmill, I will go to
that spot no matter who is there. I find it strange when people ask me "Can I sit here?" when I have nothing
of mine in their way of sitting or
when someone goes "Can I use this?" and I am thinking "Dude why are you even asking? I can't tell you not to
because I don't own it."

You don't like being asked questions that don't seem to make sense?

 

[Kit]

You don't like being asked questions that don't seem to make sense?

"Can I sit here?" (bench)

"Can I use this?" (treadmill)

Why are you asking me, of course you can, like I own the thing lmao.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

One of my friends lives somewhere where different coffee chains close at different times. So he politely asked the member of staff serving what time the shop closed. He said the person gave him an attitude, unless something happened and having a bad day I said maybe it's one off I said maybe contact the head office if it happens again. He Pays for TV license through PayPal, and we think the cashier asks him to confirm the amount as thats the rule of PayPal. But also in the coffee shop he asked for an earl grey again politely, the cashier asked earl grey tea but wouldn't hit the keys on the till until he repeated it. I would have left not giving the cashier the satisfaction but I liked what my friend done. He said that's the only earl grey product you have. So he won.

 

[SDRSpark]

But also in the coffee shop he asked for an earl grey again politely, the cashier asked earl grey tea but wouldn't hit the keys on the till until he repeated it. I would have left not giving the cashier the satisfaction but I liked what my friend done. He said that's the only earl grey product you have. So he won.

You realize that asking to confirm in case they misheard (which is easy to do in a busy coffee shop) or didn't hear clearly in the first place is normal, right? The cashier did exactly what they should have done here.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

Earlier today, I was in a coffee shop. Another customer, an inconsiderate customer sneazed without sneezing into a tissue/handkerchief. But I asked the staff to remind customers to do this.

 

[Magna]

I could be wrong, but to me it seems to be NT behavior to gravitate toward others. It happens in many ways from what I've personally experienced and also from what I've read about including:

• Camping or RV sites at campgrounds: Even though it's apparently commonly known etiquette to NOT take a camping site right next to someone else if there are other more remote sites available, people still apparently do that.
• Parking spaces: You can park your car far from other cars and someone often will park next to your car. Stupid.
• Movie Theaters: Open seats and rows as far as the eye can see and someone sits right in front of you or next to you.
• Church (see movie theaters above)
• Doctor office waiting rooms (Seriously? Go sit across the room on the many open chairs!).
• Busses, etc.

I find all of that very annoying. We're (autistics) blamed for not picking up on non-verbal cues. How is it not an obvious non-verbal cue when you situate yourself far from others that you're doing that for a reason? Very very annoying. Jeez.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

A few things happened with one of ex girlfriends between 2017-2018 and something happened yesterday.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

I remember I used to date a fellow Aspie, one time she was sitting on a seat in a Mall waiting on me and when I got back she said later a man sat at the seat closest to her when others were available, both her and I found that odd. I've been in coffee shops and have also been confused when another customer has sat it seems deliberately facing me, if the coffee shop has had plenty of seats and tables to choose from. (these events were before covid)

It just happened again, I am in a public library at a computer, there's plenty others and someone chooses to sit right next to me