Conversation problems?

[Caelix3]

I have trouble making and keeping a conversation going. It is so irritating because I want to be able to socialize but it makes it rather difficult to do so.

I've tried asking the person questions, but then I run out of questions to ask them.

I also have such bad anxiety, that I'm afraid to contact a person first. Since I don't want to seem needy or clingy, even though I am both of those things.

Any advice? I really want to get better at socializing. [emoji26]

 

[ksheehan88]

I'm the same Caelix, exactly the same.

 

[Suzanne]

Oh how I know that feeling well and added to that, not even knowing when it is a conversation! Which I honestly recently discovered.

I could not understand the response I got, in return for my "helpful" advice and this was twice recently; one was face to face and the other was whatsapp. I was so perplexed by this, that I asked my nt husband what it all meant. What I actually said was: I have just had a really strange answer back. She said all the things that are going wrong, so I replied with practical suggestions and her response was: aww thank you, Suzanne, but I have this person looking and that is going to happen etc and I am thinking: so why did you say that this needs doing blab blab blab? I just typed: ok. Anyway, on relating this to my husband he looks at me and says: conversation darling. Excuse me I said: she was just having a conversation with you!!!

Of course knowing that now, does not make it easy, because as of this time, I will now think that every thing said is just for conversation, because I am blind to the notion of what is conversation and what is not!

On aspie central, it sounds humerous etc, but in life, it is crushingly painful, because one is around only those who speak a different language.

Anyway, I know that I have not helped, but I know there are many on here, who have learned the art of conversation and so, I do hope you get what you seek

 

[xudo]

I find that it's much easier to converse with people I don't know when they too have some sort of "diagnosis", if you see what I mean? The majority of people I know these days have at least one issue or another. A random guy started talking to me on the bus last summer (normally literally the worst thing that could happen to me) but turned out he was an aspie too and we just chatted about video games. I wouldn't have started a conversation with him myself, but the fact that he was also terrible at eye contact and the like made me far more at ease.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Try looking for self help books on the subject. I've yet to search but it's something I need to do too at some point.

 

[korbin]

As much as I would love to socialize I feel like I'm bothering people most of the time.

 

[Aster]

I think so much of our conversation repertoire comes inevitably from acting or faking and that's okay since its nearly impossible in my experience to actually be on the same page as my conversation partner. I hardly ever want to smile but I've noticed that when I force myself to fake a smile, people respond more positively to me. This has helped me quite a bit in feeling a little more comfortable in awkward social situations. When in doubt, smile I say, even when it's faker than fake. It'll grease the wheels of the interaction. And hey, happy birthday!