Conversation starters?

[anja]

Anyone got any? I have to spend the evening with my Dad's work friend and his daughters. I really don't want to go but my Dad won't let me get out of it. Any tips from anyone on this socialising situation?

 

[Ylva]

Starters are easy, it's keeping them up that's hard.

"Did you see the last Hobbit movie?" "…No? Well, how about those Christmas movies?"

"Read the [last cheap yet astoundingly popular novel]?" "What did you think?" (Classic non-commital follow-up question that I could not possibly answer because it's too general, but most people ask it of most people anyway.) "So how about it's overall Christian message?"

 

[Vinca]

Possible questions to ask

Have you been on holiday this year?

How has your day been?

What did you get for Christmas?

What type of music do you like?

What have you been doing/will you be doing over the holiday period?

Do you have anything planned over the holiday period?

Do you have any pets?

What kind of things do you like to do in your spare time?

What subjects do you like at school?

What are you studying?

What do you do for a living?

 

[anja]

Starters are easy, it's keeping them up that's hard.

I find both incredibly difficult , but that hobbit movie sounds like a good start thanks

 

[Spiller]

I don't think there's ever a guarantee that conversation will occur easily and continously, even with NT's, but I've found that:
1. Relax and remember that the onus isn't on you!
2. Make a list of a few topics you're interested in talking about, Vinca's list above is a pretty good start (just copied it off myself ) Also, watch the news, there's always something there.
3. Listen to what's being discussed, pick a point that the other person seems to be interested in and repeat the last three words, so it makes you look interested and keeps them talking.
Bear in mind that my middle name is 'Looong, awkward silence' though, so if all else fails, escape to the bathroom

 

[anja]

Bear in mind that my middle name is 'Looong, awkward silence' though, so if all else fails, escape to the bathroom

Thanks, I did have to escape to the bathroom on a few occasions

 

[NewOldAspie]

Before I new me, I would prepare for a meet with other people by reading newspaper, sports journals, what was available that seemed to match up with the group of people I was going out with. I struggled entire life with this. Sometimes meet with unfamiliar people and never say one word the entire evening. That happened a lot. But if I prepared ahead, I could almost be impressive at times. So maybe find a library or get some prescription magazines that cover the gamut and get prepared. Good luck.

 

[Balkan1996]

I'm terrible at conversation starters. People laugh when I start a conversation because, apparently, "Have you seen the new equipment at the CERN?" is not a good conversation starter.

But yeah, you can 'learn' some good conversation starters:

What did you had for lunch?

Have you seen the game last night (football/soccer/basketball)?

Have you seen _____ movie?

Do you play any instruments?

What is your favorite movie (or smth. similar)?

 

[Balkan1996]

Before I new me, I would prepare for a meet with other people by reading newspaper, sports journals, what was available that seemed to match up with the group of people I was going out with. I struggled entire life with this. Sometimes meet with unfamiliar people and never say one word the entire evening. That happened a lot. But if I prepared ahead, I could almost be impressive at times. So maybe find a library or get some prescription magazines that cover the gamut and get prepared. Good luck.

Oh yeah, I can relate to this!

If you want to be socially accepted, you will sometimes have to read about things you have absolutely no interest in. Like football...

 

[Spiller]

I'm terrible at conversation starters. People laugh when I start a conversation because, apparently, "Have you seen the new equipment at the CERN?" is not a good conversation starter.

Have you seen the new equipment at CERN? Sounds like an interesting one to me
.. People, eh?
I tried learning about football, soaps on TV, boring stuff everyone else likes and I hate! Couldn't keep up, so stick with what grabs me.. lucky I've had lots of interests over the years, I guess

 

[Progster]

I don't watch much TV, and so conversations about popular culture/movies/celebrities aren't much use to me. I find it extremely hard to talk about things which don't interest me, so sports are out. However I do watch the news, and I find that this is a good conversation topic. Also, music, food and books are good topics. Especially food! People love to talk about food - and it's one thing that you can guarantee that you'll have in common with others. Another thing that works, if you are at someone's house, is to look around and see what kind of objects they have - if they have a lot of CD's, they are probably into music and you can ask about that. Or if they have a picture or photo on the wall, ask about it, it's a good talking point.

I'm very bad at starting conversations, and tend not to say anything unless I'm spoken to - most times I let others do the talking. I find it hard to join in conversations because when I have something to say, someone else always gets in before I do, or we both start speaking at the same time, and the others always listen to the the other person and not to me. Always. So usually I end up just sitting and not saying anything and get bored. If the topic os conversation is about something of great interest to me, I become very vocal and say what I want to say despite others and talk over the top of people a lot. I don't feel any pressure to start conversations though. I don't really feel any obligation, I mean, I wouldn't ask a question just for the sake of talking or politeness or appearing to be social. If I ask someone a question, it's because I'm genuinely interested, or because I feel I have something worthwhile to say. This may make me seem aloof, but at least my interest is genuine.

 

[Balkan1996]

I like going into debates and serious world issues. That's when I can really open myself. People actually like that, believe it or not!

 

[ImAnAspie]

You do have the option of silence. I mean, it's not your job to entertain them. Anyway, conversation is a 2 way street. It's not just up to you. Learn to be content with silence.

Sometimes, ending a conversation can be more difficult than starting one!