Crazy Obsessed - Ideas to stop it?

[Major]

I am into really cool things for myself that to me is worth my time and energy. Keeps my mind occupied normally I think too. I could care less about any of it right now and I'm interested in the most stupid thing ever for months and months now. I don't even want to be interested in it anymore... maybe it was fine for a day. I'm not only driving myself crazy but my husband and someone else too. Crazy. Nothing I do makes me stop thinking about it - looking up stuff about it - asking questions about it - telling my husband about it - and complaining about how I cant stop to someone else whom I assume is going crazy because I continue to badger about it (I really want to stop but apparently I lack impulse control after my annoy everyone button is pushed) "FOR THE LOVE" does anyone know what is going on and any ideas to STOP and so I can LIVE once again. I can not possibly be the most annoyed/annoying person I know forever right?

 

[The Phantom]

You've just describes a large portion of the AS community lol. definitley not alone here.

You're talking to a 13 year old girl who's room is filed with spongebob merch and any cheap plastic toy and tries to talk all her friends into watching the underappreciated Disney movie version of 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' (specifically the opening number) while simultaneously telling all her soprano friends to duet with her as Christine while the sings the part of the Phantom. Go figure

But yes, I get what you mean. I badger people about a number of interests (it can be anything, psychology comes to mind) until I told to stop lest their ear literally falls off.

 

[Major]

UGH Id even take a pill to change this stupid interest but I have already thought about that and I think that would kill my other actual worthwhile interests.

By The Way - Disney and Phantom are totally worth while interests***

 

[AsheSkyler]

Force yourself onto an alternate? Sometimes when I hit a research binge, I have to force myself to take breaks. Not only for socializing purposes and necessities such as food and sleep, but also some health concerns like not pushing into eye strain or carpal tunnel.

 

[hiraeth]

Hahahaha honestly I can relate XD

I have to make a conscious effort to not spam people with my latest finding in something tangentially related to <interest>. Thank goodness I have one aspie penpal whose been bearing the blunt of my overly energetic ramblings, to the point where she's telling me that my special interest energy is rubbing off on her, and she can't have more special interests right now because she's already so busy..... oh dear!!

I don't think any interest is stupid, by the way. And you certainly won't be annoying to me!

 

[Cosmophylla]

You're definitely not alone in doing that!

I also have trouble holding my tongue... I erase so many emails and messages to my husband telling him of my latest findings (on whatever my favourite research topic is at the time) before I send them because I know he just doesn't have time at work to think about it... And at home he's tired and wants to engage in his own interests. But I still keep obsessing about it... When I'm hyper focussing, it's pretty hard to stop.

Without an off switch I often induce headaches from using the computer/tablet too long. And at the moment I'm in another gardening frenzy and just MUST get as much done as I can, no matter whether I am unwell or not... I often find myself feeling worse at the end of the day after pushing myself hard in the garden through an illness because I just can't ignore the vision in my head. I just have to do a bit more, and a bit more...

 

[Nisk]

I really can't watch a movie or tv show without first reading all about it and then looking up the actors and other facts about. I have to refrain from telling how ever is nearest all about what I found out. I AM THE SPOILER KING!!!!!! I've gotten over being quite so annoying about it by only trying to tell people the facts about where it was made, stuff about the actors, other random facts but I keep the plot quite. You could try to minimize the burden by spreading out the information dump to lots of people or find a forum that shares the interest and dump info there. If all else fails just make a post on aspie central unload info someone might find it useful.

 

[Cosmophylla]

I really can't watch a movie or tv show without first reading all about it and then looking up the actors and other facts about. I have to refrain from telling how ever is nearest all about what I found out. I AM THE SPOILER KING!!!!!! I've gotten over being quite so annoying about it by only trying to tell people the facts about where it was made, stuff about the actors, other random facts but I keep the plot quite. You could try to minimize the burden by spreading out the information dump to lots of people or find a forum that shares the interest and dump info there. If all else fails just make a post on aspie central unload info someone might find it useful.

You should change your title from Active Member to The Spoiler King!!!!

 

[SignOfLazarus]

Well, what happens if you don't give into the desire to do any of those things?
A: what actually happens, emotionally, stresswise, physically, behavior, what runs through your mind.

B: what do you think is going to happen?

What is the real difference between these two things?

If there is a massive difference and that difference [not being able to follow through] causes extreme distress you may consider how much this could be affecting your functioning and then assess if there is something you can do from that perspective.

ETA: I mean it sounds as if it is affecting your quality of life- special interests often are a lot of work, but they are something we WANT to engage in, investigate, invest in. If this is not entirely the case it may be worth looking at again.

 

[Datura]

Part of me has trepidations about separating someone from their special interest. This is because in most cases these interests bring a person profound joy and, frankly, make for a world filled with much more interesting people. I actually love to hear somebody go on about their obscure specialty, but perhaps this is just a personal quirk.

As a bit of practical advise though, I would recommend you find distractions. Rather than researching your obsession find something else to do. Play a video game, read a book, join a quilting cub, whatever. Just make yourself so busy that you don't have time for your special interest.

Of course, now I am interested in what your interest is, if you don't mind my asking.

 

[Cosmophylla]

I realised that I responded above but didn't really address your plea for help... I just wrote about my own experiences to show you that you aren't alone, to try to alleviate some of your stress. But it wasn't really that helpful. You are in a stressful situation and anecdotes aren't really relevant.

I always find that when I need to really reason with myself, asking myself lots of questions and writing down the answers as pros and cons can help me put it in perspective. So that's what I'm going to recommend you try. Maybe by reasoning with yourself you can move on.

Here goes. Ask yourself some questions:

- What is my interest? What do/did I want to achieve from pursuing it?

- What do I get, physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, from pursuit of the interest? (This is quite distinct from what you hope to achieve through the interest.) This can be positive or negative.

- Does what I gain from the interest benefit me in some way other than satisfying intellectual curiosity? Does it benefit my work life, home life, relationships, etc.?

- does it have disadvantages for my work life, home life, relationships, etc.? (You have already said yes to this, I think!)

- what are my reasons for wanting to stop?

- why can't I stop? As SignOfLazarus asked, what effect does denying myself time for my interest have on me?

- am I afraid of no longer spending time and energy on this interest? Why might I be afraid?

- Is there something else I can distract myself with? A big project (house renovation, repainting, etc.), a new or old hobby, planning for a trip somewhere, a family event, something I've been putting off for ages?

- Should I consider professional help, counselling? Should I give myself a time limit to move on from this?



I'm sure there are other questions you can ask. If I have repeated anything I apologise... I always find that rephrasing some questions to myself can help shift focus and provide clarity.

I really hope this helps.

 

[Progster]

My experiences with obsessions is that once they start, there isn't really much you can do about them, except ride them out, let them run their natural course, like having a cold. You can, however, reduce the amount ot time you spend on them by distracting yourself from them - arrange to do something different with you husband, for to the movies or for a walk or whatever you like doing together.

 

[Suzanne]

I was obsessed with ebola and it lasted 2 weeks and I drove my husband so mad that eventually he said: if I hear that bloody word ever again, I swear I will destroy your computer! Did that stop me? Well for a bit, but it was like burning in my brain and I had to say the blasted word!

Even when I head others mention it, I got this shiver running through me!

When my brother in law died and at last it was confirmed that he died of aids, I was obsessed with reading everything that I could on aids, and wow the information was amazing.

Now, it is as if it never happened. Ebola is just a nasty disease. But one thing about it, I was able to put a lot of people's mind to rest because of my mountain of knowledge.

Since that, I thankfully have not experienced anything close to it because actually, it was very painful to my brain.

Ok, I confess I am obsessed with the colour red now but persuaded my husband to purchase a red dress and so looking forward to wearing it. In honestly, it was making me feel a bit sick actually and terribly frustrated. I kept looking at my few dresses and almost in tears because none of them were red and yep, I was even accusing my dresses for not being red lol

I am not a collector of anything. I just seem to literally run in and out of them and then, it is really hard, once my concentration has been interrupted, to actually go back to it, which of course is great, if it is not a healthy obsession!

When I can feel myself getting obsessed, I steer my brain away from it. I do seem to have somewhat control over them - unless one comes from no where and then, it takes my husband to say: oh no, not another obsession?! He was the one who alerted me to the fact that I get into them, for I honestly did not seem then as obsessing. He said that I obsess more than he has had hot dinners!

 

[Suzanne]

I really can't watch a movie or tv show without first reading all about it and then looking up the actors and other facts about. I have to refrain from telling how ever is nearest all about what I found out. I AM THE SPOILER KING!!!!!! I've gotten over being quite so annoying about it by only trying to tell people the facts about where it was made, stuff about the actors, other random facts but I keep the plot quite. You could try to minimize the burden by spreading out the information dump to lots of people or find a forum that shares the interest and dump info there. If all else fails just make a post on aspie central unload info someone might find it useful.

I am terrible for narrating through the film and the times my husband has asked to me please let him find out for himself.

 

[hiraeth]

Omg Suzanne .... for a while I was reading a lot on migrant deaths and border militarization, and found myself talking about it all the time inadvertently, which annoyed the hell out of people because who wants a casual conversation to end up there?? It was pretty painful for my brain as well, and sometimes I felt extremely heavy because how can you read about all that stuff and not. But, for better or for worse, I've moved on to a new interest now. May it be kinder to me than the last.

We should start an infodumping thread in this forum so that whenever we feel the need to info dump but don't want to annoy the people in our lives who have heard the same thing 10 times already earlier in the day, we still have a place to get it out of our system!