Crisis

[buttercuplols]

Just need a bit of a rant. I feel in complete despair today. I woke up crying. I have a few friends and they're going away travelling. I thought we were close but now they're just leaving. I know I'm being overly emotional and childish. We have been helping them do up a van and I feel like 'what's the point in helping? They're gone soon never to return the favour' I just wish they would go already because I feel resentful, the change is too much and I know I'll never see them again. I feel sad and used and like I wasted my time being friends with people who are just leaving me now. A waste of effort. I have major social fatigue and I hate them. I just want to live on my own with no friends and no one to hurt me. I hate people and I feel stupid for letting them in in the first place and trusting them. People always do this to me and I can't deal with it any more! :'(

 

[lilyb1991]

I dont deal with change either. I get anxious and my ocd flares up. When i was growing and one of my parents would go away i would get very stressed out. What got me through was knowing that eventually they will come back. If your friends are travelling does that meen they will be coming back?

 

[ASD_Geek]

Just need a bit of a rant. I feel in complete despair today. I woke up crying. I have a few friends and they're going away travelling. I thought we were close but now they're just leaving. I know I'm being overly emotional and childish. We have been helping them do up a van and I feel like 'what's the point in helping? They're gone soon never to return the favour' I just wish they would go already because I feel resentful, the change is too much and I know I'll never see them again. I feel sad and used and like I wasted my time being friends with people who are just leaving me now. A waste of effort. I have major social fatigue and I hate them. I just want to live on my own with no friends and no one to hurt me. I hate people and I feel stupid for letting them in in the first place and trusting them. People always do this to me and I can't deal with it any more! :'(

I'm sorry that you are going through this. It can be very hard losing people close to us because it's so hard to find the right people to let in to our world so to speak. Please don't hate them and definitely don't hate yourself. I hate change and moved around a lot when I was growing up, always being the new kid so I know that it's tough making friends.

Try to look at it this way... Your friends have become a part of who you are. You hurt because part of who you are is being ripped away from you. It's going to take time to heal, but please don't let this stop you from opening up and trying to make new friends. I know it's not of much consolation, but remember they did bring joy into your life. People come into and out of our lives for specific reasons. Some stay and some are only for a season. Treasure the times that you did have with them.

I believe that friends are a great gift from God to share life with. Yes, they are going to let us down... and we are going to let them down. We're all different people so it's bound to happen.

Even though it's not the same, there are friends here; ones that understand... Truly understand and care. Please don't give up on people or yourself. You are worth it!

 

[buttercuplols]

We all used to live together and work together in the same pub/hotel. It's like losing family. And they're not originally from here so they won't be back afterwards.

 

[Judge]

Perhaps one of my most difficult lessons to learn in adulthood. That for most if not all social connections I make, for as difficult as it is to attain them, they are in fact fleeting. Not so much due to their or my own actions, but simply a force of circumstances.

That for most of us there's simply no such thing as a "best friend forever".

Last week I found myself looking up all the people who were special in my life...who eventually left my orbit, never to be heard from again. And then I realized that there was no point to bother. They were "gone" a long time ago.

Very sad...but it is what it is.

 

[buttercuplols]

Perhaps one of my most difficult lessons to learn in adulthood. That for most if not all social connections I make, for as difficult as it is to attain them, they are in fact fleeting. Not so much due to their or my own actions, but simply a force of circumstances.

That for most of us there's simply no such thing as a "best friend forever".

I think it's probably why I like pets and stuffed toys (even at 30!) Because they don't just move away after you invest all that effort.

 

[Judge]

I think it's probably why I like pets and stuffed toys (even at 30!) Because they don't just move away after you invest all that effort.

I can't even deal with pets since I lost my last one in 2005. I've been completely alone for the most part since 2006.

I'm barely in touch with my own brother and cousin. Likely my fault....my decision.

"And a rock feels no pain; and an island never cries."

 

[buttercuplols]

I can't even deal with pets since I lost my last one in 2005. I've been completely alone for the most part since 2006.

I'm barely in touch with my own brother and cousin. Likely my fault....my decision.

"And a rock feels no pain; and an island never cries."

Oh bless you. I really struggled when I lost a cat a few years ago. Thank goodness you have this forum. It can be really hard to connect eh? My brother is an Aspie too thankfully so we can navigate the NT world together but blimey it's hard some days!

 

[Judge]

Oh bless you. I really struggled when I lost a cat a few years ago. Thank goodness you have this forum. It can be really hard to connect eh? My brother is an Aspie too thankfully so we can navigate the NT world together but blimey it's hard some days!

Indeed. I pretty much live the sentiments you have expressed. I've lost everyone I ever really had and it seems futile in attempts to reach out to people in general. I'm simply alone and that's all there is.

 

[buttercuplols]

Indeed. I pretty much live the sentiments you have expressed. I've lost everyone I ever really had and it seems futile in attempts to reach out to people in general. I'm simply alone and that's all there is.

In a way I think it saves a lot of heart ache. I live in the middle of nowhere and don't see people more than once a week if I can help it these days. That's why it's such a ***** that these two people are off. And both at once! (They're a couple) It would be more bearable if it were just 1 maybe. This is like 50% friend loss in one hit!

 

[Judge]

In a way I think it saves a lot of heart ache. I live in the middle of nowhere and don't see people more than once a week if I can help it these days. That's why it's such a ***** that these two people are off. And both at once! (They're a couple) It would be more bearable if it were just 1 maybe. This is like 50% friend loss in one hit!

Same thing happened to me many years ago. A small group of four I worked with. Then two left suddenly, moved away and it all just evaporated. Very sad...I never really had friends after that. It was nice while it lasted...but society in general has become quite transient. For NTs making new friends is just par for the course I suppose. But for us it's like having to climb mountains. People come and go from our lives...and at some point I think I just gave up. Much like I gave up on relationships in my 40s.

 

[buttercuplols]

Same thing happened to me many years ago. A small group of four I worked with. Then two left suddenly, moved away and it all just evaporated. Very sad...I never really had friends after that. It was nice while it lasted...but society in general has become quite transient. For NTs making new friends is just par for the course I suppose. But for us it's like having to climb mountains. People come and go from our lives...and at some point I think I just gave up. Much like I gave up on relationships in my 40s.

It sure is like climbing mountains! I'm getting to 30 and I'm rapidly losing my patience with the pace of life in general really. So exhausting!