Crush problems..

[It2ly]

So..i also have social anxiety...but i have became obsessed with this guy and well he is popular, i feel like the stari flirting is creeping him out so i stopped but a few days later he spoke to me kindly, i feel like he wants to be my friend and maybe isnt picking up the signs im givng him should i wait till next year or keep trying

currently he rarely talks to me cause im the quiet and shy kid in my grade
ive told all my friends i like him they try to set me ul with him in group projects
but...i feel so scared and i just wish i could talk to him normally..but i must can't im dreaming of him..and drawing him.. i feel so creepy and if i confessed and we became a pair i would probably creep him out

i used to actually crush on every guy i met because i am so insecure
but..with him it was so strange..

i dont know why..maybe because he was the first he spoke to me at the school, alot of the time he talks back to the class only to say things i was thinking
their might even be a possiblity that he is mildly autistic
like me but i honestly dont know

my friends tell me that he isnt noticing anything i do
they tell me they will help out..

but idk... i got him to look at me alot..and i ran into him a few days ago by accident he seemed confused

should i try harder or give up? he knows that someone else likes me
so im not sure if he thinks me and that other guy are a thing
or that he doesnt want to intrude...

Please help out

 

[Alaska]

Hi It2ly. Welcome to AC.

I think you should try gently persisting with your attempts to get acquainted with your crush. You might look at my blog posts with links on body language and microexpressions. They will help you to read his signals that can tell you how he is reacting to you and your attempts to get acquainted.

My blog on this site is called, "Musings".

 

[Nemo]

@Alaska are you called that for looking for alaska? Cause that's my FAVOURITE BOOK EVER!!
@It2ly - I'm 13 and I can relate to your struggle - keep on going and just talk to him "normally" I guess. Good luck?

 

[It2ly]

Hi It2ly. Welcome to AC.

I think you should try gently persisting with your attempts to get acquainted with your crush. You might look at my blog posts with links on body language and microexpressions. They will help you to read his signals that can tell you how he is reacting to you and your attempts to get acquainted.

My blog on this site is called, "Musings".

Thank you il definatly check it out

 

[Alaska]

@Alaska are you called that for looking for alaska? Cause that's my FAVOURITE BOOK EVER!!
@It2ly - I'm 13 and I can relate to your struggle - keep on going and just talk to him "normally" I guess. Good luck?

Hi Nemo. I chose my user name here because I live in Alaska and I like it here a lot. Thanks for asking. It is nice of you to reply to It2ly.

 

[Kevin L.]

It's not easy having a crush and Asperger's at the same time.

I've been in the situation myself many times, and sometimes this has worked out...and sometimes it hasn't.

Try to make yourself available and gently express interest without being overwhelming. If there is a common intetest, then try to establish a rapport.

If you have someone who can coach you socially, then try obtain their help.

I don't know how autism has affected you because we're all different, but certain social activities can be very difficult...such as dancing (because of co-ordination issues), or loud sporting events (because of sensory overload).

If any of these things apply to you, try to establish if these activities are important to him...and make sure that he's aware of your limitations so that things don't get difficult or awkward when (or if) you share such activities.

Some people are incompatible in a relationship with an autistic partner. If your crush is a social butterfly who loves spending lots of time with large groups of people...showing off his new girlfriend...you may be overwhelmed and have problems processing the experience. If your crush likes to take long walks on a quiet beach at night...you may be more compatible.

Do not let your crush take sexual advantage of you. I have this idea that high-functioning autistic women are vulnerable to a certain category of men...predatory men who exploit women who may lack the social skills to judge who is and who is not a scumbag. Aspie people are often very lonely and crave human interraction (I'm including myself here), and I believe that this combination of circumstances makes them vulnerable to sexual exploitation.

To prevent this from happening, take things nice and slow, gradually explain your limitations with regards to co-ordination and/or sensory issues, explain that needing a little extra patience doesn't mean that you're mentally defficient, and when (and if) the time arrives to be intimate, make sure that you're competent in the different forms of contraception, and take things slowly. Make sure that you and him aren't pressed for time, and try to stay away from alcohol (and other substances) before intimacy. Speaking for myself, there is a strong temptation to drink before intense social interraction to numb my fears, but drinking to calm anxiety before intimacy can ruin what should be a fulfilling, memorable, rewarding experience...especially if it's your first time.

I hope that I was at least a little helpful.

Good luck.

P.S. It is quite normal to have the feelings that you're experiencing. They are healthy and to be expected. Don't let yourself believe that you are the only one who goes through this.

P.P.S. Remember with regards to intimacy of any kind...it is perfectly OK (and your right) to say "No" and/or change your mind at any time.

 

[Nitro]

 

[xudo]

Welcome

I can give no advice on the crush front. I had crushes when I was a teenager, and would just do nothing about them. Eventually they went away. I didn't have a relationship until I was 20, and I've never seen it as a bad thing or an issue.

 

[It2ly]

So..i also have social anxiety...but i have became obsessed with this guy and well he is popular, i feel like the stari flirting is creeping him out so i stopped but a few days later he spoke to me kindly, i feel like he wants to be my friend and maybe isnt picking up the signs im givng him should i wait till next year or keep trying

currently he rarely talks to me cause im the quiet and shy kid in my grade
ive told all my friends i like him they try to set me up with him in group projects
but...i feel so scared and i just wish i could talk to him normally..but i must can't im dreaming of him..and drawing him.. i feel so creepy and if i confessed and we became a pair i would probably creep him out

i used to actually crush on every guy i met because i am so insecure
but..with him it was so strange..

i dont know why..maybe because he was the first he spoke to me at the school, alot of the time he talks back to the class only to say things i was thinking
their might even be a possiblity that he is mildly autistic
like me but i honestly dont know

my friends tell me that he isnt noticing anything i do
they tell me they will help out..

but idk... i got him to look at me alot..and i ran into him a few days ago by accident he seemed confused

should i try harder or give up? he knows that someone else likes me
so im not sure if he thinks me and that other guy are a thing
or that he doesnt want to intrude...

Please help out

just adding on to it
occansially if i go near him he purses his lips
and looks annoyed or awkward or uncomftable
i thought either he doesnt like me anymore
or he is thinking or doesnt want any relationship but may like me a bit due to past events but idk

 

[Keigan]

Welcome - crush on!