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Dealing with a friend of mine

Sherlock77

Sherlock77

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Someone I've known for over ten years, we are fellow photographers, he is about 25 years older than me, in his 70's

If that's relevant

He is a very challenging kind of person to spend any time with, lately he constantly texts me wanting to get together, as I had time off over Christmas, and now having worked a full week now (ie. tomorrow some time)...

He is hard to spend any amount of time with, at least for me, just the way he talks about things, if that makes sense... I really don't want to get together with him tomorrow, I can just say no and tell a "white lie" that I'm busy and made plans, I also really don't like slotting people into a specific time because then it limits the freedom of my random wandering ways... I certainly don't want this to become a consistent pattern for every weekend, maybe do it once... And I'm watching my budget right now as I had a lean Christmas with no work and need to pad up my bank account again...
 
"Hey, hope you had a good Xmas. I've had a really busy time, ended up spending a lot, and then also back to work playing catchup this week. So I think I'm just going to get a few jobs done around the house and then have a quiet one. If I do get out it'll be slotted in between doing some jobs, and so don't want to arrange anything only to let you down at short notice. "
 
I had a friend like this. We got along quite well for about 15 years but as he got in to his late 70s he started becoming more petulant and more demanding and I found him more and more difficult to cope with. Just a few years ago we had a bit of an argument over nothing and he didn't want to talk to me any more. I was quite happy with that situation and didn't bother to try and patch things up.
 
Maybe the thoughts of his own mortality has crept in and he is trying to enjoy the time he has left? Don't know. People are difficult puzzles to figure out and deal with. Which is why I like solitude. :)
 
I have a friend who used to go hiking with me. As he got older, he started to get obsessive about things. One thing was a gigantic grave and memorial database he was working on. That wasn't a problem just a bit boring. Then he started getting into bizarre political conspiracy theories.

Now, all the information I see is apparently getting filtered through a grand CIA/Big Business/Progressive media conspiracy. My conclusions are invalid because only his "alt. right" sources know the real truth and have the courage to reveal it. And once in a while Fox News. He doesn't just believe this, he gets obnoxious about it.

Didn't used to be this way. He was just a kind of mellow libertarian kind of guy, live and let live. Worked in support for a company that sold "head hunter" software. Liked to play board games, liked to hike, and didn't even care if I was nude. Now we've got to be careful about inviting him over because he can go ballistic and ruin things. Sad, because he's married to my wife's cousin, who I count as a good friend. She's why I met my wife.

I don't know if age is whittling away at the brain's rational centers or having nothing going on in his life since he quit working. Not having any structure at all in life is not good for one.
 
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