Death to maiden in me

[Kayla55]

Honestly I feel like people take advantage of my person, and it's due to autism weakness but I really feel that I've tried to learn to behave like other woman to try protect me from being used.
Another point I noticed is that with education and distribution of internet data freely to all, it's unlikely for some of us to have unique personality traits that specific to you as person, appears characteristics are listed next to hairstyles that society assumes all can just pick one and it's suited.
Another difficulty is with understanding why woman are like fish, and trying to think in terms of fish is like dairy a high protein produced by woman as part of meal, but isn't earned independently, so she expected to perform girlfriend duties and if you not acting submissive it's issue, and unrecognised how much work and ideas were my own. Can't just get by smile and sweet attitude in this world.
I wished so many times to remove all nice things I'd said and done, kicked myself for helping others when realised how some less martyred and calculating the bottom line.
Very confused by gender roles, stereotypes Nd never fitted into society in general.

 

[Kayla55]

I was never NT smart enough to come up with a reply remark that was witty n smart, I was amazed others used this same full technique, but truth in how often they, the offender would repeat what was said.

Most of my attempts being assertive were hopeless, really have to copy other girls. Feel more secure if surrounded by female friends.
Their is power in female unity!!

 

[Kayla55]

This was also quite relevant, I usually take defensive mode...

 

[Kayla55]

This dude has ADHD, I wish I knew how to market my ideas, patent the rights and sell my creativity to be free of a job.

 

[Kayla55]

 

[Kayla55]

 

[Shamar]

I was never NT smart enough to come up with a reply remark that was witty n smart, I was amazed others used this same full technique, but truth in how often they, the offender would repeat what was said.

Most of my attempts being assertive were hopeless, really have to copy other girls. Feel more secure if surrounded by female friends.
Their is power in female unity!!

When I was doing field training in Utah, we sometime went to a local bar in the evenings. One time one of the cowboys hit on the wife of one of my colleagues. I wish I could remember exactly what she said, but it was good. Five minutes after she left, one of the cowboys suddenly looked up and said "I think that girl insulted me!"

 

[Kayla55]

al jokes

He's just best example of a teenage boy that is disturbing to my input as ASD female, I can't handle this....I mean he gives me type of overload second to none other.

 

[Kayla55]

Knowing when a personal relationship is toxic,
I guess after a while of history it may be decided that neighbour country is using you, always benefitting and being narcisstic about it. It's hard to take a stand without hurting others feelings but tell German that I feel urge to be free butterfly, that my emotional needs are not met and that I'm tired of you using and accrediting yourself with my survival strategies.

Toxic is when argument gets to the point where we bring one another down, don't want that anymore, can't always describe my needs so simple no is in order. Of course avoidant after that as vibe will go bad, but heck I have right to live my own history, too.
Just so don't think I'm nasty, I've being patient but just don't need this