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Depression

apolloidolsice

apolloidolsice

Active Member
Hey. Anybody else feel depressed about being autistic? I've never been kissed, had boy or girlfriend, i've been bullied my entire life and i currently have no friends. And you're different. Most people think you're weird. Your existence is something to be cured. Fixed. Erased. I hate being this way. Most people don't struggle with basic stuff like eye contact.
 
Statistics say it's unlikely for some people to ever get better. I think the best professionals can do is gaslight people into thinking that their normal reactions to real circumstances are actually cognitive distortions, eg: "you only feel that way because you suffer from depression and aren't seeing things right".
 
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I think it has a lot to do with lack of understanding of our different neurology that causes us difficulties. Maybe try to see if you can join a supportive group that would help you to help others understand us better? Right here is a good start, and hopefully you will find these forums help you take some actions to feel differently. Have you chosen your avatar for a reason? The pic isn't of you, you say on your status update, what made you choose it?
 
Hello Apollo -

Yes, some of the things you mentioned are part of Autism unfortunately and I am sorry that you are feeling depressed. I have been described by friends/acquaintances as eccentric, goes to the beat of his own drummer, etc, but some like that I am not plain vanilla and a little different.

I think you may be surprised of how many here share your thoughts. This alone may help you feel not so alone and you may find a few friends that you really connect with.
 
 
I've had to deal with chronic clinical depression since I was a teenager. However I've never felt that knowing I am on the spectrum of autism in itself depresses me. If anything, I'm grateful to have been able to put it all together in determining who- and what I am.
 
I'm one of those lucky punks who doesn't get depressed (well, since doing a massive lifestyle overhaul), but I definitely think it's normal to feel sad from time to time when things are hard for you due to ASD, which is something I've definitely felt. I've also felt ashamed to tell NTs I'm autistic because of the stigma, arguments, etc.

With that said, depression can get pretty serious, so I'm sorry you're going through that.
 
Yeah, the social isolation and misunderstandings get me all the time. I'm depressed over not being able to find a job, my various and complicated medical conditions, PTSD, an inability to make and maintain deep friendships, the inability to find a partner for a physical relationship, being transgender in a fundamentalist household, etc. In other words, I have PLENTY to be depressed about, and sometimes it really does get to me.

That said, I do try to actively work on my stuff, and have a decent set of people who seem to sometimes actually enjoy my company (sometimes they just tolerate me, but at least they try!). I have activities and routines that bring a smile to my face and an eagerness to my step. When my life feels impossible to continue, I make a concerted effort to find something to be grateful for, and usually I can actually find something. While my depression has been clinically deemed situational, its still depression and it still overwhelms me at times, so I feel for you. All I can say is look for the little pluses, the small positives, the slivers of moments where something is RIGHT in your world when things feel horrible. It really does help.

Hugs to all who deal with this mess (if you accept them)!!!
 
Depression was something that I dealt with for a long time, but living the lifestyle that I feel like I'm mean to has made me feel mostly happy. My autism was responsible for a lot of really intense childhood trauma but I still never felt like my autism in itself was the source of my unhappiness. If anything, I actually think having special interests and abilities makes my life way better, even though it can get embarrassing in certain social situations.
For some people, depression is chronic and very serious and doesn't go away easily even with therapy or medication. So I don't expect everyone to magically get better once they find something that makes them happier.

But I do think that putting in the work to improve your life is important. If you set some goals, and work towards and eventually meet those goals, that will at least give you a sense of accomplishment and put you on the track to feeling better. When I didn't have much going on in my life and was working through trauma, I was extremely unhappy and ended up being diagnosed with clinical depression. I'm still working through some trauma, but now I'm in a place where I feel like I've accomplished a lot and also helped a lot of people, and that's made me feel much happier. I wouldn't say that I really get serious "depressive episodes" anymore but sometimes I do feel kind of sad, down, or bad about myself. Doing something fun or creative usually helps.
Being goal-oriented is not the only way to combat depression, having interests and hobbies that you enjoy will usually make you happy, even if it's just for brief moments.
Do you have any hobbies?
 
Are you in therapy? That could help. Plus, you're only 17. You'll get better at all of those things as long as you continue to try.
 
apolloidolsice said:
Hey. Anybody else feel depressed about being autistic? I've never been kissed, had boy or girlfriend, i've been bullied my entire life and i currently have no friends. And you're different. Most people think you're weird. Your existence is something to be cured. Fixed. Erased. I hate being this way. Most people don't struggle with basic stuff like eye contact.
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I understand you I struggle with my autism and I have anxiety nerves and depression also I've been bullied most my life from school to work and I don't have any friends either I struggle with conversation and understanding cues to
 
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