(Diagnosed) 15 and seeking answers

[Xenon]

Hey there, my forum name is Xenon but my real name is Connor. Anyway, I have 3or4 close friends, I love music, android and according to people I'm pretty average looking.

Anyway this needs a back story for you to understand so please read. So through some pretty unpleasant events I became sad and alone, I began cutting. During a sport lesson another student noticed and yelled out to everyone. I snapped and beat the hell out of that kid, that was something I've never done and when people checked to see if it was true they checked my wrists not my leg (since they were covered by shorts). So the school made me see a counsellor due to stuff at home happening regarding a family members suicide. So while with this counselor she pulls out this thick file on me, I've never been in trouble so I had no idea what it was, I asked her about it and she read through some of it with me. Turns out I'd threaten suicide 3 times a week as a toddler due to reactive attachment disorder. Then she continued speaking about my extremely above average IQ, and stuff. Then she asked how I was coping with my aspergers. Big mistake on her part, turns out in 10 years mum hadn't mentioned anything about it. Anyway, being kinda inquisitive I asked her and she got all upset but told me nonetheless about how I was "hypersensitive", I didn't feel emotion or how others felt, I used to talk to myself, and how I talked a lot, I used to self harm, compulsive lying but I sucked, I laugh at stuff that's sad etc.

Anyway, I want to know a few things:
Will aspergers stay with me for the majority of my life?
Can aspergers lead to depression in teens?
I am really bad with lying to people I trust (you can see it all over my face every time), is that related to aspergers?
Is self harming a result of it or is it another behavior specific to me?
My IQ, does it have anything to do with my disorder?
Can it affect me later in life?
Will my children get it through my genetic material?
My clingyness towards a girl I like, not knowing what to do regarding *cough* sexual*cough*activity?
I read somewhere that some people with aspergers masturbate obsessively, is that a fact?
Being listless, is that just me?

There's still so much more Idon't know :'( But thanks

 

[King_Oni]

Hi Xenon/Connor.

I'm not sure if I can answer all questions, and besides that, I want to make clear that my answers are merely a personal experience and not a blueprint. I'm not a specialist in the field, but by both being on the spectrum as well as reading into it, as well as having talked to specialists and having a close group of aspies as friends, I'm quite sure my knowledge isn't totally irrelevant.

Will aspergers stay with me for the majority of my life?
Aspergers as a condition will stay with you... as a diagnosis, but it doesn't mean you will "suffer" through it. There are a lot of ways to cope with disturbing behaviour for which you might seek out therapy and/or support to help you cope with them. It does depend on how severe it is and how well you can manage to make therapy be useful for you. So yes, it'll be around, but I wouldn't say that it'll be prevalent all your life... I think situation depends on it a lot, as well as ways to deal with the issues you run into in your life.

Can aspergers lead to depression in teens?
As far as I know, there is no study done about this, but from personal experience I was kinda like you. Is it Aspergers? Or am I just depressed? Something that does happen here and there is that due to experiencing the world differently in terms of logics as well as sensory, you might view things differently and therefore enjoy them differently or not at all. That basically is a matter of perspective. From what I've heard when talking to therapists, a lot could be averted if I had support early on and as such had more help in terms of coping with stuff. But as such it could just as well be any other comorbid disorder.

I am really bad with lying to people I trust (you can see it all over my face every time), is that related to aspergers?
In general I think it can be said that people with Aspergers aren't the best actors. A lot of "us" come across as honest and we don't understand the entire social dynamic very well (bar exceptions, because they are out there). So the entire lying thing is a recurring thing I've heard/seen. And that's not just with people they trust... it's just dishonesty in general.

Is self harming a result of it or is it another behavior specific to me?
Self-harm might be a way to stim. A way to cope with the situation you're experiencing at that moment. But it could just as well be related to any other, aforementioned, comorbid disorder.

My IQ, does it have anything to do with my disorder?
There's no study for this, so I don't think there's a definitive answer on this. I should add that Aspergers is skewered towards the "high functioning autism" scale. So that puts a lot of people with Aspergers to at least average intelligence in that sense. Add in that having obsessions is a big part of most people with Aspergers, they'll know a lot about certain things and therefore appear really smart. (and no, I'm not discrediting anyone on the forum by saying that besides obsessions you know nothing )

Can it affect me later in life?
It will affect you as much as it will affect you. Right... that's a philosophical one I guess. Also I think you should take a look at where you are now. Do you have a degree? A job? Any realistic future perspectives? If so, follow those. It can affect you more...as in "out of control", if it's really severe, but looking at your situation, not being told this for 10 years, you came across a long way already.

Will my children get it through my genetic material?
So far... it's a developmental disorder, not a genetic disorder... at least, that's what I've read/heard/been told.

My clingyness towards a girl I like, not knowing what to do regarding *cough* sexual*cough*activity?
Practice makes perfect I've heard a lot of people with Aspergers being kinda late on this. Intimacy, things like that. But that doesn't mean you will not understand it. Perhaps you might need help from the girl you're engaging activities with, just to get started, but I don't think there's a lot of problems there in general.

I read somewhere that some people with aspergers masturbate obsessively, is that a fact?
No.. that's not a fact. That's just the random person you heard about. But I do, in some cases, it can be related to "being late" in terms of dating. I don't think that sex drive isn't there at some point.

Being listless, is that just me?
Listless? Do explain.

I hope I answered some things for you. Also, I hope that any members who disagree with me here on my views on those questions will chip in. But again... it's personal experience, I'm no trained specialist... I'm just one of those aspies.

 

[Xenon]

Thanks for the reply. By listless I mean that I'm rarely enthusiastic for sports or new things. I like the things I'm used to like design, coding and such but I suck at sports (thats kinda caused me to not be the most popular person and I'm kinda reluctant to give it a go, I want to try but I can't pick it up easily. I need things to be explained with greater details even though I'm "bright".

 

[Loomis]

Hang around this site and ask questions and read various threads. You will get some insight into how different aspies think. We are all different from each other with different opinions. One thing I will say is that your aspergers is due to your brain circuitry being different. You will have that your whole life but understanding how aspergers affects you will help you to understand yourself and your social interactions. Knowledge is power.

 

[Arashi222]

Will aspergers stay with me for the majority of my life?
AS is something that is part of your brain being wired a bit differently than what most people's are. We think and feel things differently, we see the world very differently and within that we as people who have AS are on a spectrum defined by functionality and sensory issues and a few other things sprinkled in in differing ways to make our own unqiueness.

Can aspergers lead to depression in teens?
Some people have situational depression meaning caused by situations they are put in that could be related or not to the AS. Some people have chemical depression something is wonky with the chemistry in their brain. I think its different for everyone not everyone with AS has Depression some have Anxiety or OCD or a combo of all or none.

I am really bad with lying to people I trust (you can see it all over my face every time), is that related to aspergers?
As with anything I think because of the way we see the world it might make it harder for us at time to lie but I don't think that its necessarily a trait as I am seen and heard of Aspies that are pathological liars and good at it.

Is self harming a result of it or is it another behavior specific to me?
Self harm is unique in that it can be a stim. It can also be a co-morbid issue. That is something to get checked out. Some stims can be like that for example biting ones lip until its sore, or banging one's head repeatedly against a wall can be a stim.
My IQ, does it have anything to do with my disorder?

Can it affect me later in life?
It will always affect you. Its how you learn to cope and get support for it. Not allowing it to become an excuse but embracing that you have to do things a bit differently than most people.

I really hope this helps you Be sure to check out all the threads around and ask questions we are a pretty helpful bunch.