Diagnosed...Now What?

[Apleba]

Hi all,
Just want to share this because I imagine many of you have gone though a similar stage, and many may still go.

I have been recently diagnosed. The very first days I felt weird - happy but also confused. Then I started to think whom I should tell. I realized I am too anxious to tell anyone. Have told 1 very close person, that's it. Couldn't even tell my friends and family. Whenever thought of doing that, just couldn't.

So, later I started feeling very sad and somewhat disappointed. OK, I know it myself now, I have a paper, but does that change anything in my life if I am too scared and anxious (which is caused by autism in the first place btw) to share. I still feel like a looser in most of the situations with which I cannot cope due to autism.

I know a person who was very closed and one time just said that it's because of social anxiety. And everyone was cool about that. I am so sad that I cannot make myself do that, I fell like now I know the answer and I know that it will always be like that, but cannot do anything about it. I'm caught up in a vicious circle of being too shy and anxious to say why I am like that.

 

[Bolletje]

Give it time. You probably need some time to work out what this diagnosis means to you and how it affects you personally.
There’s no need to tell others about your diagnosis if it makes you anxious. And if you are struggling with social anxiety, you can tell people about that. You don’t need to tell them it’s caused by autism. I’ve made a habit of informing people of specific areas I struggle with instead of telling them I am on the spectrum (for example: I don’t cope well with last minute changes of plans, I don’t cope well with groups of people).

 

[Sarah S]

I agree with Bolletje what you need is TIME to get al this properly sorted in youre own brain first .

Also take it from me & ALL my diagnosis Just because you now have a peace of paper saying you have this diagnose DONT in ANY way shape or form changes ANYTHING dear youre STILL the same person you were before you got this diagnose.

As been said TAKE youre time getting this processed in youre self first dear no need of starting to go out public if you dont feel comfortable doing this .

 

[clg114]

Well, now you know. For me that was a good thing. However, I would be careful about who you share this information with. I consider it need to know information only. Most of the people that you encounter either can not or will not understand. You would be amazed at some of the things that they think if you tell them.

There is no cure for autism, but that does not mean that you can not get help. I believe that a good therapist could give you counseling that could help you with your anxiety. Try to get a therapist with experience with autism.

 

[Suzanne]

Similar feeling, but it now feels surreal and exciting; and like you said: doesn't make you suddenly fit in.

I see my psychiatrist tomorrow and am going to ask what options are there open to me? I secretly hope that the government will pay for me to have special driving lessons.

Anyway, have been told that once I am diagnosed, many doors are open and it is both exciting and terrifying.

 

[Tom]

Step 2 - Take up Croquet

 

[Fino]

Yeah, the time thing! Conscious mind is overrated, just wait it out while the better parts of your mind work it out.

 

[Autistamatic]

Funny you should ask...

 

[Fino]

Funny you should ask...

The picture on the second one has always been perfect for its use because it's like you're sitting at a desk when they walk in the door marked "Autism" and find you there, waiting, hands together, smiling small and ready to say quietly, when their look of shock has passed, "Funny seeing you here...Welcome. "

 

[Autistamatic]

The picture on the second one has always been perfect for its use because it's like you're sitting at a desk when they walk in the door marked "Autism" and find you there, waiting, hands together, smiling small and ready to say quietly, when their look of shock has passed, "Funny seeing you here...Welcome. "

Sounds like I chose well

It was down to that...or this:

 

[Peter Morrison]

There is no joy in a diagnosis except for you, and the rest of us on this forum. It legitimizes all the chaos and is the result of a quest to understand what's going on. That is definitely worth celebrating, and it represents a major step for you.

The rest of the world, those who are unfamiliar with autism, probably don't know how to accept your news. It's not an achievement or award, so "congratulations" would seem out of place. We know better. But our happiness for you comes from understanding its importance. I'm not so sure the majority of people can grasp the same idea.

I think you can remain confident and happy not telling the world about your diagnosis. I know you want to share your news, but others can't understand its significance. With or without your shyness, you are still you, and that should be enough.

Explaining autism can't be done in one sitting. The big picture needs to be understood before your own personal issues can make sense to someone who doesn't have some background in the subject. There are medical professionals in my life, and even they only know the basic framework of what constitutes autism. Discussing it can be very time-consuming and tiresome for me. Their knowing doesn't change anything. And I hope you feel no need to apologize for your shyness or anxiety. It's too bad that your friends and associates can't feel the same relief and joy that you are experiencing. You are no loser. You just don't care to be the headliner, center stage. If everyone were center stage, there would be no audience. I prefer being a spectator also. I let my own anxiety make those decisions for me, and I am not considered shy. My social anxiety churns inside me, and I know to heed the warnings. I don't belong center stage.

 

[Major Tom]

Keep it to yourself, don't make mistake and tell the whole family and all your friends..Or do if you want to find out who your real friends and family are. I'd recommend the first option though.

 

[WhoDatLady]

I would learn all I could about it, first of all. That way if you do decide to tell friends and family, you'll be able to answer any questions and refute any misconceptions that they might have about your diagnosis.

 

[SusanLR]

I have very few people that are close to me in my life so I didn't have to worry about telling anyone
except the person I live with.
No way to keep him from knowing I was seeing a psychologist and he would say things about my
odd ways, so telling him was a necessity.
First I was afraid to, but, I knew if he accepted it then I could gradually start helping him understand
certain things and ways about myself and how they fell under the diagnosis.
He had never known anything about Asperger's or autism until he found out a lot of information
through me after my diagnosis.
I learned everything I could about it and it has helped me look back and understand my life.
Plus it has helped the relationship between the two of us. He has accepted it well and gained interest
in awareness.

But, beyond doctors and therapists I don't tell anyone.

 

[Progster]

You don't need to tell anyone if you don't want to and don't need to put yourself under pressue to tell people. Tell people when you sense that the moment is right, people who you know are open-minded and who you can trust not to abuse your confidence. Personally, I only ever tell people on a need-to-know basis, and that does make me anxious, because I don't know how they are going to react or fear that they might not take me seriously - generally I don't trust people, but so far I haven't had any bad experiences of this.

@Autistamatic What is the cat image supposed to communicate? I really don't get it.

 

[Autistamatic]

@Autistamatic What is the cat image supposed to communicate? I really don't get it.

It's one of those cultural references you sometimes don't get, my fine friend It's Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the villain from the James Bond movie "You Only Live Twice", famous for his sinister, but polite manner (and erroneously credited with the line "I've been expecting you, Mr Bond"). I thought it an amusing response to @Fino 's comment previously.

 

[Fino]

I didn't even know all that, I only understood its meaning from the amount of times I've seen it parodied but I never saw the source material!