jack_attack
Jack Attack
Hi,
My name is Jack and I'm new here. I was just diagnosed with autism yesterday after eight years of my parents and I trying to figure out what's up with my mind. It's been a long and emotional journey, and I definitely have mixed feelings about my diagnosis.
(Disclaimer: I write a lot, but I'll put a TL;DR at the end if you don't want to read everything).
Several years ago, my parents realized I was a bit different from other kids and took me to get evaluated for a mental disorder. I showed signs of autism as well as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), but my symptoms overlapped and the psychologist couldn't isolate the cause to one particular diagnosis. Eventually, I was diagnosed with GAD, but my parents and teachers have wondered if I'm also autistic ever since.
Since then, I've had four therapists, two evaluations, one medication, and a partridge in a pear tree. Until recently, I was doing everything I could to avoid an autism diagnosis out of fear of the stigma. But in these past few months, I've gotten to know so many great people who are openly autistic, and I realized maybe having autism isn't that bad. I think finding out that my favorite teacher was on the spectrum sold it for me. So just a couple of weeks ago, I asked my parents if I could be reevaluated. Since I'd already been evaluated, the psychologists had almost all the information they needed to give me the diagnosis. My parents pulled me out of school before third period, and I came back for sixth hour with an autism diagnosis.
Now that I have that label, my thoughts and emotions have been all over the place. On the one hand, I'm happy that I finally understand why I am the way I am, and that I have paperwork to prove it. I'm thrilled to have access to a diverse community of people who think and act like I do and won't judge me for being who I am. But at the same time, I still have that desire to just be a "normal" kid, who can relate to others easily without anxiety, awkwardness, & "weird" quirks. When I got the diagnosis, I was like, "This is great! Now I can be who I am without shame!" But when I got back to school half an hour later, I felt more ashamed of my "weirdness" than ever before. It's been back and forth between those two extremes for the past 32 hours with little in between.
I guess I should talk about other stuff besides my diagnosis, so, yeah... I'm a music and theater nerd. I play the upright and electric bass, sing in my school's choir, and act in the school plays. I'm also the president of the Interact Club (community service) and vice president of the Tri-M (music) and Thespian Society (theater) chapters at my school. I just got into the highest band and jazz band at school and got my first lead acting role as Colonel Mustard in Clue. When I finish high school, I want to become a teacher or do some other career that involves working with kids and making a positive impact in their lives. For now, I'm just trying to survive high school and prepare for the future, hopefully helping others and having fun along the way.
TL;DR: I'm a high school music/theater nerd with autism and generalized anxiety disorder. Figuring my brain out has been and still is an emotional roller coaster, but at least my "weirdness" kinda makes sense now.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope you have a great day!
~Jack Attack
My name is Jack and I'm new here. I was just diagnosed with autism yesterday after eight years of my parents and I trying to figure out what's up with my mind. It's been a long and emotional journey, and I definitely have mixed feelings about my diagnosis.
(Disclaimer: I write a lot, but I'll put a TL;DR at the end if you don't want to read everything).
Several years ago, my parents realized I was a bit different from other kids and took me to get evaluated for a mental disorder. I showed signs of autism as well as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), but my symptoms overlapped and the psychologist couldn't isolate the cause to one particular diagnosis. Eventually, I was diagnosed with GAD, but my parents and teachers have wondered if I'm also autistic ever since.
Since then, I've had four therapists, two evaluations, one medication, and a partridge in a pear tree. Until recently, I was doing everything I could to avoid an autism diagnosis out of fear of the stigma. But in these past few months, I've gotten to know so many great people who are openly autistic, and I realized maybe having autism isn't that bad. I think finding out that my favorite teacher was on the spectrum sold it for me. So just a couple of weeks ago, I asked my parents if I could be reevaluated. Since I'd already been evaluated, the psychologists had almost all the information they needed to give me the diagnosis. My parents pulled me out of school before third period, and I came back for sixth hour with an autism diagnosis.
Now that I have that label, my thoughts and emotions have been all over the place. On the one hand, I'm happy that I finally understand why I am the way I am, and that I have paperwork to prove it. I'm thrilled to have access to a diverse community of people who think and act like I do and won't judge me for being who I am. But at the same time, I still have that desire to just be a "normal" kid, who can relate to others easily without anxiety, awkwardness, & "weird" quirks. When I got the diagnosis, I was like, "This is great! Now I can be who I am without shame!" But when I got back to school half an hour later, I felt more ashamed of my "weirdness" than ever before. It's been back and forth between those two extremes for the past 32 hours with little in between.
I guess I should talk about other stuff besides my diagnosis, so, yeah... I'm a music and theater nerd. I play the upright and electric bass, sing in my school's choir, and act in the school plays. I'm also the president of the Interact Club (community service) and vice president of the Tri-M (music) and Thespian Society (theater) chapters at my school. I just got into the highest band and jazz band at school and got my first lead acting role as Colonel Mustard in Clue. When I finish high school, I want to become a teacher or do some other career that involves working with kids and making a positive impact in their lives. For now, I'm just trying to survive high school and prepare for the future, hopefully helping others and having fun along the way.
TL;DR: I'm a high school music/theater nerd with autism and generalized anxiety disorder. Figuring my brain out has been and still is an emotional roller coaster, but at least my "weirdness" kinda makes sense now.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope you have a great day!
~Jack Attack
