total-recoil
Well-Known Member
O.K., I'm now even more sure I do have Aspergers Syndrome. Amazingly I caught myself stimming a couple of days ago which was like flapping and I've never been aware of it (and the significance of all my other symptoms).
Sooo, I've been doing a fair bit of research on A.S. I believe I have now concluded I do most definitely have a kind of autism but have become instantly skeptical of State involvment. And that is because I believe aspergers is a deviation from the norm, not an illness. In fact, many aspergers people also believe the same, that we basically struggle to fit into society because we are different.
I don't think official diagnosis would change much. Possibly I'd get more appreciation of my condition in official circles (am not employed at this time) but also I fear the possibility of some sort of reprogramming mindset. That is, a conception that I don't fit into what's "normal" so must then view myself as in need of adjustment.
Of course, don't get me wrong. I finally fully understand that my friends and family simply don't understand the way I sometimes behave and I do need to be aware of how they must feel. It's just I think now I'm aware aware, I can by myself more cleverly disguise or control my behaviour so it's less evident.
I've also been telling friends the truth and getting feedback. One girl said, "you're still you and still my friend!". Another said she was relieved to find out what was going on as she had never understood the way I sometimes act. She's now going to Google aspergers.
Maybe I'm wrong. It's just that I feel I experienced years of intolerance and lack of understanding so became very suspicious of the system. Also, my aspergers taught me over the years to function outside of the classroom and independent of the system. My life was a struggle to survive in an alien environment yet somehow I clawed and scraped my way to some sort of progress and self-development. And it was myself who diagnosed this condition, no medic, teacher or psychologist. You could say I found the problem and now I feel I need to find solutions.
Sooo, I've been doing a fair bit of research on A.S. I believe I have now concluded I do most definitely have a kind of autism but have become instantly skeptical of State involvment. And that is because I believe aspergers is a deviation from the norm, not an illness. In fact, many aspergers people also believe the same, that we basically struggle to fit into society because we are different.
I don't think official diagnosis would change much. Possibly I'd get more appreciation of my condition in official circles (am not employed at this time) but also I fear the possibility of some sort of reprogramming mindset. That is, a conception that I don't fit into what's "normal" so must then view myself as in need of adjustment.
Of course, don't get me wrong. I finally fully understand that my friends and family simply don't understand the way I sometimes behave and I do need to be aware of how they must feel. It's just I think now I'm aware aware, I can by myself more cleverly disguise or control my behaviour so it's less evident.
I've also been telling friends the truth and getting feedback. One girl said, "you're still you and still my friend!". Another said she was relieved to find out what was going on as she had never understood the way I sometimes act. She's now going to Google aspergers.
Maybe I'm wrong. It's just that I feel I experienced years of intolerance and lack of understanding so became very suspicious of the system. Also, my aspergers taught me over the years to function outside of the classroom and independent of the system. My life was a struggle to survive in an alien environment yet somehow I clawed and scraped my way to some sort of progress and self-development. And it was myself who diagnosed this condition, no medic, teacher or psychologist. You could say I found the problem and now I feel I need to find solutions.
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