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Did Any of You Have Friends When You Were A Kid?

Kavigant

Kavigant

Unknown Legend
V.I.P Member
It seems like what it meant to have friends when we were kids was different than what it means to have friends as an adult.

For all of you who are completely friendless (like me), did you have any friends at all when you were a kid? Or is one kicked out of the ASD club if it's discovered that they had a friend in 3rd grade?
 
Friendless here and okay with that. I get the socialization I need from my partner, my mom, and to a much lesser extent, my work colleagues.

I didn't learn that I prefer to be friendless until I was 17. Until then, I had friendships off and on, some deeper than others. They were usually based around a shared hobby, such as video games. Looking back, I can clearly see how my undiagnosed autism made sustaining friendships difficult. On top of that, I was deeply ashamed of being gay, and the older I got, the more that distanced me from others.
 
Well the first was a older teen who took me riding on his bike, l was a tween. Then a boy moved in two houses away, and introduced himself to me, and showed me - (ugg, disbelief, anxiety producing), his skinned squirrel mounted on a board. This was up by Yosemite. Very small town at that time, called Groveland. After that , friends with my parent's close friend's children. Then l had a friend in elementary school, she was nice. Next friend wasn't a friend, just looking to sell uh something, (weed). So that ended fast. Then l made one more friend before l left for Europe. I use to get together with neighborhood kids and kick the ball around, when kids were nice and actually played outside on the street.
 
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I believed I had friends. Kids were supposed to have friends, and there were kids that didn't actively run me off, so they must've been friends, right?
When my "friends" joined in with the bullies, then they weren't GOOD friends. There were maybe 3 or 4 friends that were long-term and that's really all I could handle at a time anyway.
 
The issue I always had was not making, but holding friendships.
Reciprocity and mutuality are the issues. Since I have issues with them,
I tend to lose friends and I only have 2 right now, that are OK
with me being me. I did have some as a child, didn't last.
 
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I had a couple. But not exactly many. My school experience was not a good one and for the most part I just hated all of the other kids. And my self-esteem was not good either, to put it mildly, which wouldnt have helped.

Of course, it's not exactly much better as an adult. These days I'll actively go out of my way to prevent anyone from getting too close. Though that's a bad habit, I know. Tough to break, after so very long doing it.
 
I had a few friends as a child, but I wasn't Mr. Popularity, then again when you're seven they are just playmates really

I lived in a city neighbourhood with very few children my own age, I hung out with five or six kids and we did stuff together and there was an excellent park nearby with lots of places to explore

I also had friends through the church I attended with my parents, again a small number of friends

Then there was the group of three when I was in my early 20's, who religiously watched X-Files every Sunday night, plus the Simpson's of course
 
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Fraxinus said:
It seems like what it meant to have friends when we were kids was different than what it means to have friends as an adult.

For all of you who are completely friendless (like me), did you have any friends at all when you were a kid? Or is one kicked out of the ASD club if it's discovered that they had a friend in 3rd grade?
Click to expand...
I had tons of friends as a kid and teenager but most ended up being mean to me.
I made friends everywhere I went
These were some of the names...
Mirrian and Jessica, this Gabrielle girl them she moved away it was sad because I really liked her and she came out of her grade party to give me cake, belinda, Tracey, Leah, I talked to Isobel sometimes and Emma W.
Most of them were ended up being mean and not wanting to be my friend even though I loved some people dearly. I sincerely got obsessed with some people thinking they were the prettiest thing ever amd so cool and I kept trying to make friends with Ashley, Amy, Kara, Jess, Kate, Heidi..
They all ended up being so mean.
In grade 6, I had a bubby and snot hang out of her nose and I thought it was a bit gross really but I thought I cannot let her go around like this so I blew it and sometimes it was a lot of snot.
And I lifted the other girl because she was so cute, her name was Emma then I realised she did not like it.
And in high school my friends were my cousin Jessica, Steph, Claire also I was friends with other kids like Tammi, Megan, close to Rachael at times but they were really loud and a bit embarrassing so we were not super close. But I was close to Jessica, Steph and Claire. I was friends with Ebony this Asian girl at my drama class and we had so much fun and she was always happy to see me.
And I made friends with this other Andrea girl at my other drama school.
And even when I grew up I made friends in different places. I was friends with boys too or used to talk to them as well. Like Lefty, David D and others.
And I sat with this boy James on the train when I went in the city and we talked about all things. I made friends everywhere
So yes while it is not shameful to struggle with that as someone with ASD I think not all people experience it.
I like to know anyone who was like me as a child, made friends easy but struggled to keep them long term.
 
Fraxinus said:
Or is one kicked out of the ASD club if it's discovered that they had a friend in 3rd grade?
Click to expand...
It’s not that kind of club. It’s more like a club sandwich - many varied ingredients that make the whole.

I had the very best friends as a young child- my bicycle, my rocks and stones, and my stuffed animals. Happy friends.
 
I had friends, but only one at a time. They usually became friends long just enough to gain my trust before betraying me to their favorite bullies. I stopped having friends by the time I reached high school -- only "friendly" acquaintances. Only after college did my friendships become more meaningful.
 
I don't think young kids stay friends, a lot of families move away, your interests change, and some kids mature at a different rate than other kids. So it's nobody's fault if you didn't stay friends in school.
 
Not until middle school. Then I had one or two who were also misfits in some way or neurodiverse, but I never belonged to a friend group or social circle.
 
I had friends, but it was an isolated neighborhood surrounded by trees. The kids directly across the street and around the block would always want me outside and exploring with them, got me into playing team sports like baseball, soccer, football and such. Just the same, if I wanted or had to be in my room alone...I was perfectly fine. I remember the first nintendo system coming out, and that really changed everything. It started being where kids all went to one kids house indoors most of the time. Up until that point, the closest kind of thing was going to the mall arcade or a rec room arcade with billiard tables. Thinking on it, I should have understood my social comfort levels because I never liked crowding around an arcade game or a bunch of kids on the same couch playing nintendo. Playing billiards was free, open and just better for me - also the whole geometry / math required.
 
I had friends when I was a little girl, but after I became a teenager I couldn't relate to other teens my age, I was still only interested in kid things and became really withdrawn and was teased and harassed a lot while my schoolwork went down the toilet. No one knew about Asperger's, it wasn't even officially known to the public yet.
 
True. I didn't mention about when puberty hit. I definitely didn't understand or deal as well socially around 7th grade all the way until probably mid to late 11th grade. I wasn't ever sure anyone wanted to talk to or have a single thing to do with me, honestly. I kept to myself a lot. If not for girls making the first move and breaking the ice, I would not have had relationships at all, probably. This is why I often say that autism is so similar to, and is mostly just mistaken for, someone being really insecure, with really low self-esteem. Oops. I wish it wasn't like that, but it just is. Those who'd rather judge the book by its cover, rather than ever taking the time to read/find out/actually know...well...I've found that I'm better not knowing most of those folks, anyway. The exception being not ever knowing whomever was just like me and feeling the same things.
 
I had a few friends, yes. I found it easier to socialize when I was in elementary school because I was just with the same around of 20-25 kids for the entire year. When I moved up to middle school and then high school, it became more difficult (read: extremely difficult) because now it was 20-25 different kids per class (OK there was still some overlap because I was in advanced classes for my non-electives so that meant a lot of us were in the same classes but obviously the electives were different) so I basically just retreated inwards outside of a few friends who had shared interests with me, most of whom I had been friends with in elementary school already.
 
I thought I had a best friend starting when I was 7, but in fact, she was anything but a friend. So, no, never had a friend.

Happily, now I do have a friend.
 
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