Did i do this right?

[annO]

And should I send the drafted response? I'm still pretty furious. Maybe I should let it go? I hate having to explain the most basic stuff to entitled idiots. I already let it slide that he entered to return my rent receipt without telling me.

 

[Forest Cat]

I suggest to not send it, wait a while, take a break. I understand you are upset but is it worth starting an argument with a landlord over it. It will just get more stressing and annoying for you and it could turn into a landlord/renter war.

 

[Rodafina]

I would also hold off on the draft for now. I understand you are emotional, but perhaps it would be better to cool off and then convey to your landlord in the future that it is really uncomfortable for you to not have the 24 hour notice and important that he try to honor that in the future.

 

[annO]

I've already waited about 2.5 hours. I'll wait more though. I just want him to get it. Is not that hard of a concept. I need to say something. I just feel like those aren't the correct words and I have too much other stuff going on right now that this is probably affecting me more than it should but I can't not try to stand up for myself. How though?

 

[annO]

You're right. I will wait.

 

[Rodafina]

I have too much other stuff going on right now that this is probably affecting me more than it should but I can't not try to stand up for myself. How though?

This is a good realization that there are other things going on that are already upsetting.

You can still stand up for yourself, or set appropriate boundaries, tomorrow. As long as you are safe right now, you can remind yourself that you can address this in the morning.

I think sticking to the neutral idea that your landlord is required to give 24 hours notice, and that it is important to you that that requirement is honored will be the best way to define your boundaries.

 

[paloftoon]

I don't sense your landlord did this on purpose.
So, here's a good way to handle this situation.
In addition to stressing your personal boundaries, ask him if you could deduct $25 off your next month's rent too.
Also, offer to call workers yourself so that you can schedule appointments and be prepared for repairs but have him pay the repair person himself. If you don't know who to call, he could give you that information.

Then just continue with the rest of your life.

 

[Human Avatar]

Some one was telling me today how past trauma can make us react to certain situations in the present . This is a good example. This seems like something I would write but obviously regarding a different context . I would do so to help someone understand my anxiety about a situation.

And I have , they usually don’t care and end up disliking me more .

I would not send. But did it feel good to write it ?

 

[Slime_Punk]

I would've absolutely submitted that in a heartbeat, but I'm hot-headed when it comes to personal issues and personal space, especially when it deals with triggering events. But as @330 said, the sad part of it all is that nobody on the other end owes you that compassion and will likely just make you feel bad or awkward for it. I can think of exactly zero times when a stranger has went out of their way to accommodate me or my feelings in an uncomfortable situation.

I wish things like this were easier to communicate in our world, but unfortunately the default response is lukewarm at best to "I don't even believe that" at worst.

Your feelings are more than valid, though. It's a very vulnerable position to be in.

 

[Hypnalis]

This isn't about feelings or explaining about possible risks.

It's about lack of the 24 hour notice and (I suppose) the lack of other information about the people that did the work.

Stop trying to educate the landlord / managing agent (who knew perfectly well what they were doing), and work on controlling their future behavior.

Your goal isn't an apology. You need the landlord to do their job properly.

* Your target isn't the workers. They were doing their job. It's the landlord.
* Your leverage is the actual risk to your physical security, not how you felt about it.
* The media you use has to be traceable, so text messages aren't ideal. Email (first because it's fast), followed by a hardcopy letter.

 

[Boogs]

It's a tricky to my mind. There is a message to pass to them, and at the same time, it would exceptionally easy for them to misread that message at the best of times.
I have major trouble mis-messaging. I can spend ages writing, reading, rereading, editing, starting again, etc.
But although I rarely get it right, I have learnt that sleeping on it (not a few hours, a full sleep, something to completely break from the thoughts) and reading it again, when my mood has (hopefully!) changed, I'm often glad I never clicked Send.
The more upsetting the event, the better to write it, then wait until the next day, reread, then consider sending or not?

 

[Human Avatar]

To many variables to assume. Is the pipe outside ?
What kind of pipe ?
Is it an apartment complex ?
Do other people live in the same house ?
Were they notified ?
Does the pipe need to be fixed for the shower to work ?


Did they enter the house while she was in the shower ?
Did they knock ? Ring the door bell ?
Or just unlock the door and walk right in ?
Does she have a hearing impairment? And did not hear them ?
If so that is dangerous if that is the case? I would not send a text in that situation I would confront him face to face. And make him install a chain lock on your door that same day .

I used to own a rental property.
And there are emergency situations where 24 hrs cannot be given .
Especially if a broken or backed up pipe will destroy the property.
A gas pipe leak can destroy a whole block ,plus gases from sewage pipes can cause actual explosions.
Water can cause major damage and black mold .


We can assume. But we don’t know all the details.

the law is as follows in most states -a landlord must give reasonable notice before entering a property – usually, 24-hours advanced notice. There needs to be written notice –“ if emergency repairs are needed, landlords can enter the property to stop any damage that is occurring.”

 

[Boogs]

To many variables to assume. Is the pipe outside ?
What kind of pipe ?
Is it an apartment complex ?
Do other people live in the same house ?
Were they notified ?
Does the pipe need to be fixed for the shower to work ?


Did they enter the house while she was in the shower ?
Did they knock ? Ring the door bell ?
Or just unlock the door and walk right in ?
Does she have a hearing impairment? And did not hear them ?
If so that is dangerous if that is the case? I would not send a text in that situation I would confront him face to face. And make him install a chain lock on your door that same day .

I must apologise! I hadn't realised I'd left my brain in your post!
(... and was there a R in the month? ...and did something or other, ... and what was that? ... and why was this?)

 

[Forest Cat]

I think this is also one of those situations that happens sometimes because it can be difficult to get a hold of plumbers and other workers. So if you have tried to get a hold of a plumber for a month and he suddenly calls and says he's in the neighborhood and can be there in 10 minutes, you sort of have to jump on the opportunity and say "yes, yes, yes!". It's just the way the world is.

 

[Rodafina]

I think @Forest Cat makes a good point above.

@annO, I was thinking that context could be important here (and your history with your landlord). For example, if this is the first time you felt imposed upon by him, it would be easier to make sense of this in terms of what landlords need to do to get things done. If he has a history of making you feel uncomfortable or doing things that feel like they invade your privacy or personal space, then it would make sense to be more upset by this incident, and perhaps describe your boundaries a little more forcefully.

I am especially sensitive to people showing up unannounced or being in my space, so I have to remind myself sometimes that the other person’s perception of the situation is very different.

Hope you are feeling better by now.

 

[Hypnalis]

IMO, OP has an issue that should be addressed.

But not by some easily ignored/forgotten communication, nor by presenting impossible demands.
This is just biz. The landlord or their managing agents seem to have been careless, they need to shape up.

A polite reminder from OP via a permanent/traceable medium (in case it has to go formal later) is enough.
:
:
The landlord may have difficulty getting people to work, but they still have a responsibility to inform their tenants that strangers need access to their dwelling.
There has to be an initiating event for the information - e.g. via phone from the landlord to the tenant.
:
:
For cases where time may be short, a couple of choices:

1. Large scale (this is how it works for me): They text me, I verify on a secure site site.
There's a web site I can log in to with the same authentication as my bank.
I'd expect some variation of this from a managing agent (weaker authentication is ok, but not some unknown or insecure site)
2. Small scale: A call from a known number, with the expectation you call back to a second number to verify (number spoofing is trivial - a system that ignores this isn't serious).
Or maybe verify via social media - as long as it's something secure against simple spoofing.

One or two guys turning up unannounced (i.e. text or missed call on my phone) in workman's overalls with a few cheap tools: forget it.

Note that actual emergencies (gas leak, burst sewer line, even a big water leak in a building) probably won't be dealt with just by a couple of random workmen. I've had two of those (sewer line and water) and both times there were multiple people on site, including a representative from the managing agent.

Gas leaks are serious - you'd expect flashing lights (fire, police, etc).

 

[Aspychata]

Oh boy, l had a creepy landlord who showed up in my apartment to supposedly put things in my fridge, (and go through my underwear?) , who knows what he was really doing. But l ended up moving because there was a huge gang that met in the back of the building and then it was time to move out. But my next place was a beautiful apartment in Waikiki.
So you have every right to ask him to just put the receipt in a envelope and tape it to your front door. If it's a plumber, just ask him to give you at least a day's notice by text since getting service people is difficult these days. It should be 24 hours and usually is the law in many states. You can request what you need, but don't disclose that you have been assaulted and robbed. And l am very sorry this happened to you. It's something l constantly worry myself about. I live in a park complex that is gated with cameras for this very reason.

 

[Boogs]

I honestly doubt any of us (not knowing how well various members may know each other and be going on addition available context here) could really know what's going on in the OP's head?

I can read so many possibilities, but can find nothing to differentiate them in terms of likelihoods.
Even if this was a non atypical site (is there such a thing?) I would raise the same question.
It seems to me that just because readers like me may have a related condition, I don't necessarily understand better (actually, maybe even worse!), but are more likely not to use denial and other biases, knowing and being aware of the effect of that on themselves in the past - they tend to be less/non judgemental.

Personally on that basis, maybe keeping to the strictest facts possible, and avoiding opinions, generalisations, guesses, and intuitions, while possibly missing a correct point, will also guarantee better to avoid a misunderstanding and bad advice coming from that?

Keep it non autistic, more just generalised advice regards a process? As would be the case in a consumer site or similar? I'm sure some thoughts above are spot on, and some not so, but only the OP knows which, and even then, they may not be sure? And does it matter?
First and most important thing is the issue itself (that of physical privacy and security in the first place), that's where the symptoms come from, the personal reasons can be analysed afterwards, but the events themselves are not acceptable for anyone! Whatever their state of mind!

 

[Aspychata]

Actually, @Boogs , this is what l like about this site is all the differing opinions because l can be rather black and white, due to being on the spectrum, and l need (seriously) a info dump of thoughts to analyze to get thru my schematic of did l make, say, think, do the right thing. Info dumps, ruminating, and emotional blowups are pretty much par for the course for some of us. Pretty much the OP cycled thru all of that from what l am reading and that is pretty much norm, along with a huge group of us suffering from PTSD from prior trauma as the OP stated they have specifically encountered a prior incident which created more trauma.

 

[Judge]

My experience has always been with jurisdictions that lacked any form of rent control. Leaving landlords to get away with murder, if need be from their point of view.

In essence if you have rent control, you can afford to be aggressive with your landlord. If not, well....making it a tenuous relationship will only complicate things. Whether it involves an individual property owner or a corporate property management firm. (That's putting it mildly.)

Under such circumstances, a sense of right and wrong are more often than not irrelevant short of litigating the matter in court. Which in case you'd better examine your lease with a fine-tooth comb. When I first rented the place I presently live in, the lease was 23 pages. Now it's more than 40 pages. Get my drift?

Chock-full of hold-harmless provisions that inherently favor the landlord and not the tenant. Unless of course you've hired an expensive "dream team" to defend you in court.

My perspective is not only indicative of years as a tenant without rent control, but also nearly 20 years as an insurance underwriter with an insurer that insured a multitude of apartment complexes (big and small) in California. San Francisco (one of the few places with real rent control) was the only place we saw any activity favorable to tenants, and even then there wasn't a lot of it that actually went to court.

I could also tell you about the downsides of owning a condominium subject to an HOA. But then I know a number of us here have similar and sad tales to tell.