gouldgrl
Well-Known Member
I learned only in the past year that I have an Aspie brain. This has been, for the most part, a good thing to know, as it helps me understand why certain things are perhaps more of a challenge for me--especially in terms of relationships.
I have a close family member whose personality has grated on me for many years. She is often boastful about her achievements; she talks more than she listens, tells the same stories ad nauseam, and never fails to interject herself into a conversation. Several years ago, she was diagnosed with MS. I felt genuinely bad for her; it's not something I would wish on anyone. But what I struggle with is the undeniable fact that I still find her personality rather obnoxious. It seems to me that someone with a neurotypical brain would "factor in" this woman's MS and be more forgiving of her less admirable qualities (e.g. being a braggart). But I can't seem to do that. My knowing she has MS has little to no impact on how I view her personality or overall character. This is not to say I have no compassion for what she suffers, both physically and mentally. It's just that her suffering from MS doesn't seem to affect how I deal with her character flaws. (In a similar way, I had a supervisor once who performed her job rather poorly, but everyone else in my department was quick to forgive her because she was very bubbly and gregarious. In my mind, her personality should not have played a factor in her job performance.)
Is what I'm describing another difference between NT and Aspie brains?
I think I have to work on simply forgiving my family member those qualities that irritate me (because I would want others to forgive me all of my irritating qualities) instead of wondering why her debilitating disease doesn't make that easier for me.
I have a close family member whose personality has grated on me for many years. She is often boastful about her achievements; she talks more than she listens, tells the same stories ad nauseam, and never fails to interject herself into a conversation. Several years ago, she was diagnosed with MS. I felt genuinely bad for her; it's not something I would wish on anyone. But what I struggle with is the undeniable fact that I still find her personality rather obnoxious. It seems to me that someone with a neurotypical brain would "factor in" this woman's MS and be more forgiving of her less admirable qualities (e.g. being a braggart). But I can't seem to do that. My knowing she has MS has little to no impact on how I view her personality or overall character. This is not to say I have no compassion for what she suffers, both physically and mentally. It's just that her suffering from MS doesn't seem to affect how I deal with her character flaws. (In a similar way, I had a supervisor once who performed her job rather poorly, but everyone else in my department was quick to forgive her because she was very bubbly and gregarious. In my mind, her personality should not have played a factor in her job performance.)
Is what I'm describing another difference between NT and Aspie brains?
I think I have to work on simply forgiving my family member those qualities that irritate me (because I would want others to forgive me all of my irritating qualities) instead of wondering why her debilitating disease doesn't make that easier for me.
