Dim the lights!

[DogzSpirit]

It's an assault of the senses that other women seemed not even to notice.

Now, this makes sense!

I always thought it was me.

The nagging acknowledgment in the back of my head. Something not right here, everyone else seems happily humming along.

Shopping in those places...

I would tell myself: You are on a mission. You will secure what you need and exit before you know it. You have a limited amount of time to accomplish this, before it gets to be too much. In and out of Marshalls/Grocery (Store like Marshalls and target, being the WORST) ... Get what you need and run out of there.

THE ENTIRE VISIT, I'd be inwardly saying can't they get rid of that noise, and damn those lights, cursing at the sensory assault of how these stores are laid out. Constantly pushing away the thought asking if I had some sort of mental health issue, especially if I had to do a fitting room - those are extreme assault.

Abort mission if max tolerance is reached... Grab what you have and get out, forget the other items you had on that to do list.

Then the decompression in the car. Made it back. Chill out. Yeah grab that chocolate and just drown out what took place. Turn on the Bob Dylan. Soothe. It is so hard to believe other people are not affected by that disgusting place.

Now I can see, it is part of wiring due to my spectrum challenges.

But honestly, can they make anything less appealing??? It's already an assault to be with people all over the place picking at the same shelves or racks you are navigating. Bright those damn florescent lights. What in hell could you possibly miss if they were toned down by 50%???

So now I know.. (nods)... This was why I couldn't hack it, and even pissed off more than one NT shop addicted girlfriend when I couldn't stomach the mall.

I hear that other countries make for a quiet hour of shopping in stores. I just found that out today. It must be wonderful... Dim those damn lights. Always preferred dim lighting at home, and lucky that my husband does also! Fireplace and soy candles are nice too. Key word is soothe.

Supermarket Introduces 'Quiet Hour' to Help Customers With Autism Feel at Ease. Supermarket Introduces 'Quiet Hour' to Help Customers With Autism Feel at Ease

 

[Aspychata]

I need quiet hour in every store, government office that l go to. Lol

 

[DogzSpirit]

I must have been the most irritating person to shop with, as I attempted to instruct a NT person as to how shopping should be done.

- I labeled it speed shopping. lol. I said it was more efficient. (Oh my the ways we compensate/adapt)

- Enter and glance around those smaller stores, not even leaving the entry area if possible. If larger do a quick breeze through taking inventory if anything was of value.

- Nothing here to see (Yes, I would say that), as I exit and try to convince friend to follow.

Now I get it.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Someone here who is good at research needs to find out which national grocers and dept stores (Kroger, Macys, etc) have quiet hours and when, and post it in the resources tab.

 

[DogzSpirit]

Someone here who is good at research needs to find out which national grocers and dept stores (Kroger, Macys, etc) have quiet hours and when, and post it in the resources tab.

Yes, and go one step further in sending a form letter proposing those quiet hours to major stores which do not!

 

[Aspychata]

I thought this was in reference to a Teddy Pendergrass song * dim the lights*.

Lol. Threw me for quite a loop. Like dim the lights; drop your coat, blah blah blah.

 

[DogzSpirit]

US stores: JC Penny, Target, and Barnes & Noble have offered “quiet hours” for shopping. I suppose you would have to call to confirm which locations (maybe all?) offer that and what time that is scheduled. What strikes me as odd... Even these stores seem largely unaware of us seemingly unaffected adult spectrum individuals benefitting from that, stating they are doing this for families of children on the spectrum. Maybe society assumes that such individuals outgrow this or simply go somewhere? The typical statement generally is this: "Times when the store opens early exclusively to children with autism and their families, with measures to make the ambiance sensory-friendly." or early in the morning for similar reasons.

I guess for the exclusive hours, you show up and say you are an 'eternal kid' on the spectrum... lol

We now have to compose a letter to the others. TJ Max and Marshalls are tops on my list. Anyone care to help compose a letter which can be attached to an email to those corporate offices?

 

[Aspychata]

How about an autism nite, they would pass out bubbles and wands to us.

 

[Misery]

We now have to compose a letter to the others. TJ Max and Marshalls are tops on my list. Anyone care to help compose a letter which can be attached to an email to those corporate offices?

It wont do anything, believe me. Companies like that dont DO things unless one of three conditions exists:

1. They can profit from it somehow

2. They are being pressured by something that can cause damage to their profits if they dont comply

3. Law enforcement is forcing them (situational, not applicable to something like this)

And that's seriously it. Nothing else works.

If you want them to make a change, a mere letter will not only have no effect, but will likely not even be noticed. Believe me, the guys who actually make the decisions aint gonna see it. To them, you're nothing but a walking wallet/purse/money holder. That's why the lights are so bright: They gotta be ABSOLUTELY SURE that the walking money blobs can see all of the many ways in which they can give the store more money. They sure as heck aint bright to help you find your way easier or something.

The only REAL way to make it happen would be to get some large group to advocate for it (which is probably why some of the stores you listed are at least somewhat doing it)... that's about it.

Other than that, there's only 2 things you can do:

1. Go late at night. Before the pandemic I'd often go to the store at like 2 in the morning.

2. Go to a less crowded location.

Not much else that can be done...

 

[Fino]

I typically feel like I'm on some grand and dangerous mission when I go to the store, which is very rare.

 

[George Newman]

I wear sunglasses, ear buds or plugs, and go Sunday at 10pm. Once per week. If I need anything in between I go without.

 

[DogzSpirit]

It wont do anything, believe me.
And that's seriously it. Nothing else works.
Not much else that can be done...

Hmmm. I like a challenge. Has to be worded the right way, and with a Spectrum Advocacy group in the notes. Let's see which Autism group is up to that, for authenticity in that approach in a letter!

 

[DogzSpirit]

I typically feel like I'm on some grand and dangerous mission when I go to the store, which is very rare.

Yes... That is how I view these trips, as missions.
Petco is super easy for my dog goes in with me and is a major distraction as he seeks out
where the hidden creatures may be.

Hmmm wonder if he could be a distracting agent for me in other stores (lol)... I guess that is how therapy dogs are born... lol.. just joking, for I wouldn't even remember what I came in for, unless he sat in a cart trapped, and that wouldn't be much fun for him! (Sorry my odd sense of humor - again)

 

[DogzSpirit]

I wear sunglasses, ear buds or plugs, and go Sunday at 10pm. Once per week. If I need anything in between I go without.

Yes... good approach.. thanks!
Ya know that is the obvious, and I should have thought of that, but thought it was some weird anxiety hit,
and knew nothing of this AT wiring as it applies to me, until recently.
This is all so new to me as I begin to connect the dots, makes me feel stupid for not realizing that!
I have done that.. worn my sunglasses in stores. I guess it was a subconscious move.
That earplugs with my own music playing may be a help too. Never considered that.

 

[Aspychata]

It wont do anything, believe me. Companies like that dont DO things unless one of three conditions exists:

1. They can profit from it somehow

2. They are being pressured by something that can cause damage to their profits if they dont comply

3. Law enforcement is forcing them (situational, not applicable to something like this)

And that's seriously it. Nothing else works.

If you want them to make a change, a mere letter will not only have no effect, but will likely not even be noticed. Believe me, the guys who actually make the decisions aint gonna see it. To them, you're nothing but a walking wallet/purse/money holder. That's why the lights are so bright: They gotta be ABSOLUTELY SURE that the walking money blobs can see all of the many ways in which they can give the store more money. They sure as heck aint bright to help you find your way easier or something.

The only REAL way to make it happen would be to get some large group to advocate for it (which is probably why some of the stores you listed are at least somewhat doing it)... that's about it.

Other than that, there's only 2 things you can do:

1. Go late at night. Before the pandemic I'd often go to the store at like 2 in the morning.

2. Go to a less crowded location.

Not much else that can be done...

Or bypass the store, head right too Amazon, Ebay, Overstock, Monkeywards(lol), Wally and double click and voila, you can rest easy.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Or bypass the store, head right too Amazon, Ebay, Overstock, Monkeywards(lol), Wally and double click and voila, you can rest easy.

http://walmart.com/grocery accepts tanf and snap, and if you pay a 12.99 monthly fee, you get unlimited grocery deliveries for free, with no minimum purchase. It's mostly groceries, but you can also get clothing, shoes, tools, and housewares too.

 

[Progster]

For a trip to the supermarket I take sunglasses, headphones and music, or ear plugs. I don't find the lights too bad at the store I shop at, what gets me is the beeping of the scanner at the checkout, which is particularly obnoxious and way too loud.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

For a trip to the supermarket I take sunglasses, headphones and music, or ear plugs. I don't find the lights too bad at the store I shop at, what gets me is the beeping of the scanner at the checkout, which is particularly obnoxious and way too loud.

sunglasses are a good idea. my daughter is also an aspie. she finds the grocery store very stressful.

 

[Progster]

If I shop at a familiar store, it's not too bad. But if I go to a store I don't know, a new store, it can be unbearable. I'm not sure why that should be, perhaps it's because I get used to the sight and sound of one store, a new one has new sounds, layout, lighting, smells, etc and they all assault the senses.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I really like water kefir or kombucha too.