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Disappointed in myself at work

M

Misty Avich

Hellooooooooooo!!!
V.I.P Member
I spent up to 4 hours cleaning a bus really well the other day at work, not missing anything out. Only to be told today that they had found dust on one of the front window ledges. I 100% know I cleaned all window ledges because I cleaned all the windows so it soaks the window ledges anyway and then I wipe them down with a cloth, so it's actually impossible to be missed or become dusty within 2 days and not being out on the road.

I know the supervisor wasn't having a go at me or anything but I still felt embarrassed because I usually do a good job and I feel I have let myself and him down. Then afterwards I figured that the dust must have fallen there when the bus was moved across the yard after I had cleaned it, as there's an electric box (or something, I don't know) above the particular window ledge he was on about but you can't really get behind and clean it really, but as the buses rattle and vibrate it's very easy for dust to fall from those crevices and reform on the window ledge below. That's the only logical explanation I can think of, but it's too late to explain that to him because he's gone home now and it's almost the weekend.

It's just annoying that you spend so much time cleaning something and take pride in your work only to be told it's not up to your usual standards. It just looks bad on me, and if the explanation I thought of wasn't what happened then I feel I have let myself down. It really punctures my stupid fragile ego.
 
That sounds like it could be very annoying indeed. But don't be disappointed, you take pride in your work and you do your best. It makes sense that the dust would fall down from behind that box when they moved the bus. But you had done a good job. You shouldn't feel disappointed. You're doing something so many people fail to do, taking pride in their work and doing a good job.
 
Thank you, but I'd like him to know that possibility. Sometimes I can't always forget something until the other party has the facts right too. I know what I did but he doesn't and I feel he should, so that I can move on.
But it'll be a bit awkward to approach him on Monday about it. What I might do is if I come across that same bus tonight (which I will at some point) I'll have a look on it where the dust could have fallen from and then use that as a peace of mind thing and also as evidence that I did in fact clean the window ledge but was unfortunate that dust had somehow reformed.

Or maybe it was a ghost.
 
I think I've figured out what happened. After I'd cleaned it on Wednesday I saw it had been moved to a different spot and I saw the engine running for quite some time and an engineer was in there. I remember thinking "I hope he doesn't make too much of a mess in there", as I thought all engineering work had been finished on it.

And the engineer I saw on there was the candy guy (some of you know what I mean). I can't prove it though, but I have some suspicions that he goes on my recently clean buses and discreetly plants dirt or trash. A couple of weeks ago I remember thoroughly sweeping and mopping a bus, then afterwards he got on there to move and park it up, and when I walked by it I saw a couple of bits of trash on the floor in the middle, and there was no way that was there when I'd finished on it.

So if it is him behind it then that's bullying. But I can't prove it, so there's nothing I can do.
 
Misty Avich said:
I spent up to 4 hours cleaning a bus really well the other day at work, not missing anything out. Only to be told today that they had found dust on one of the front window ledges. I 100% know I cleaned all window ledges because I cleaned all the windows so it soaks the window ledges anyway and then I wipe them down with a cloth, so it's actually impossible to be missed or become dusty within 2 days and not being out on the road.

I know the supervisor wasn't having a go at me or anything but I still felt embarrassed because I usually do a good job and I feel I have let myself and him down. Then afterwards I figured that the dust must have fallen there when the bus was moved across the yard after I had cleaned it, as there's an electric box (or something, I don't know) above the particular window ledge he was on about but you can't really get behind and clean it really, but as the buses rattle and vibrate it's very easy for dust to fall from those crevices and reform on the window ledge below. That's the only logical explanation I can think of, but it's too late to explain that to him because he's gone home now and it's almost the weekend.

It's just annoying that you spend so much time cleaning something and take pride in your work only to be told it's not up to your usual standards. It just looks bad on me, and if the explanation I thought of wasn't what happened then I feel I have let myself down. It really punctures my stupid fragile ego.
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That does sound frustrating for sure. But this is where you just have to try to put those comments of your supervisor out of your mind. You know you do a thorough quality job of cleaning. It's obvious you take great pride or else you wouldn't be feeling this way right now. You can't control what others think, do, or say, but you can control how you chose to react. And it's not something that happens overnight but with practice you can learn to let what others say go, when you realize their claims are baseless. Right now when you start thinking about it just stop and tell yourself, "That is just a thought, one that doesn't matter. I know that I did a great job and that is the thought that matters". Do that enough times, and that will be what sticks in your mind.

Hang in there. I'm not religious so I won't say any prayers for you but I'll try to send some good vibes your way. If quantum physics is right it should work. :)
 
DrBadStrings said:
That does sound frustrating for sure. But this is where you just have to try to put those comments of your supervisor out of your mind. You know you do a thorough quality job of cleaning. It's obvious you take great pride or else you wouldn't be feeling this way right now. You can't control what others think, do, or say, but you can control how you chose to react. And it's not something that happens overnight but with practice you can learn to let what others say go, when you realize their claims are baseless. Right now when you start thinking about it just stop and tell yourself, "That is just a thought, one that doesn't matter. I know that I did a great job and that is the thought that matters". Do that enough times, and that will be what sticks in your mind.
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Yes but the truth means nothing to me when the other party thinks something different. He might not trust me to do a good job any more.
DrBadStrings said:
Hang in there. I'm not religious so I won't say any prayers for you but I'll try to send some good vibes your way. If quantum physics is right it should work. :)
Click to expand...
I'm not religious either.
 
I do fear failure, even if I know I done something right it still feels more like a victory when others notice my good work.
 
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