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Disassociation and reality

Jenisautistic

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hi everyone, have you ever tried to zone out of a dissociative state and felt confused or overwhelmed or even scared

Have you ever not want to come out of that state and stay in your own ideas and imagination.

Or even get locked in the past and daydreaming about it sometimes
 
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Hi everyone, have you ever tried to zone out of a dissociative state and felt confused or overwhelmed or even scared

Have you ever not want to come out of that state and stay in your own ideas and imagination.

Or even get locked in the past and daydreaming about it sometimes

I have had dissociation where I feel unreal or like on another planet or maybe not me.
It is scary, it is scary going through some of the stuff I do and I would not wish it on anyone.
I feel like not me...and like no matter how much I tell people what I really am it is not believed
And I know what I am and how much I have gained back talents or anything does not change it, I do not think I have changed essentially just evolved
I think I was always this from the day I was born maybe some aspects could have heightened a bit.
I think I am evolving each moment, I think to rely be me, I have to find some friends who like to have a bit of fun and have some adventure.
I discover things about me all the time like I do not like particularly to drink and I do not mind.
I think you can go out and have fun without it.
I am lonely though
And I want to go back and be a good aunt and thus is something I grieve and wish my niece was not so allergic to me and my issues and so traumatized because I enjoy giving her guidance and building her up. If I was well I would love to invite her over and take her to the movies and imagine if I could do that.
Then I would know I was healed and had achieved something amazing.
I wish she would talk to me but I would have to stop being such a mess and I am struggling.
It kind of does make me realize what parents with problems go through....
They may want to be there for their kids but cannot pull themselves together and then they are all grown up and those beautiful moments are gone.
This is off the track about disassociation however I have experienced it and identity problems but I feel like I know my identity but some stuff is tucked away, I am waiting for it back.
 
Also I have had problems where I feel like I look at myself and I am not me etc...
Like I think this is an issue with some autistics regardless for some people where they always feel weird about body image
And they may have appearance related issues maybe forever and just have to learn to live with them.
I have been unwell for a long time though.
I love my appearance and love receiving compliments but love people who just love me for me and my appearance is not something they constantly fixate on.
But still not afraid to call me beautiful when I look nice.
 
I use dissociation frequently and deliberately to manage my anxiety-induced negative thinking so I have a pretty positive opinion of it. It can be scary and worrisome to others to find you "out of it" and not paying attention, so I do try to only do it when it's really necessary or I'm safe in my room.
I've never thought about trying to exit a dissociative state from within, I've never been in one for so long that I'd encounter that problem. But I do understand not wishing to leave sometimes. Just be careful if you end up landing on the past as subject.
 
Sure. Got stuck there a little too long. Ability to perceive reality as reality started slipping. It got scary.
But, used correctly it can be helpful.
 
I do alot of spacing out or thinking about characters, or stories made up my me, or video gaming. Stuff I've always done for a long time. Though it's to a point that I don't really even notice things around me alot. Unless I am in a situation where it's something imperative to pay attention to.

Though my own thoughts tend to turn on me too and I can self deprecate alot too.
 
Dissociation was my main coping mechanism for sensory overload as a child. It frequently lead to feeling unreal, which was scary at first. But it became just another thing to get used to.
As I got older, I learned to avoid the overload situations, and that became the norm most of my life.
Now it's only once in a great while that I find myself dissociating.
 

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