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Discomfort speaking

D'Andre

D'Andre

Well-Known Member
As a kid I was always uncomfortable talking. And I'm still there. Its like my tongue and my lips are uncoordinated. If I could have my way, I'd speak monotone with lazy lips. Clearly I've had to adjust. Its not painful, just exhausting. Its like feeling every movement you mouth makes, even the close of a word. If I say "I want some" the mmm feels so off. Can anyone relate? Is there something I can read about?
 
It also feels like back of my tongue is pushing into my throat. And after 30+ I might have some answers
 
Did you have a speech teacher when you were grade school?

Not the kind that teaches you how to make speeches,
the kind that works with you to learn to pronounce words.
 
I do when there is more than just me and another. I find that words get stuck in my throat and I have learned that selective mutism. It certainly feels like an enormous effort to say even one word.
 
Selective mutism since a child. Still use it.
I've been called out so many times in situations like the hairdressers,
doctor's offices, masseurs, rooms with people sitting around.
Of course, waiting areas aren't so bad now since everybody has their faces in their
smart phones!
I thought about becoming a nun when I was 18. Maybe I should have.

So many times, I've been asked if I am alright.
Because I didn't hold chit-chat.
It happened two days ago at the podiatrist's.

I told a massage therapist once that wanted to talk incessantly and ask why
I didn't, "Still waters run deep."
She asked what that meant.
I told her I guess she would find out.
 
tree said:
Did you have a speech teacher when you were grade school?

Not the kind that teaches you how to make speeches,
the kind that works with you to learn to pronounce words.
Click to expand...
No I didn't perhaps I should have. Thing is to others I must sound relatively normal. For me its more of a discomfort. Maybe if I let myself speak comfortable they'd suggest it.
 
Suzanne said:
I do when there is more than just me and another. I find that words get stuck in my throat and I have learned that selective mutism. It certainly feels like an enormous effort to say even one word.
Click to expand...
Oh my goodness yes. And my work is in front of passing customers so I can totally relate.
 
SusanLR said:
Selective mutism since a child. Still use it.
I've been called out so many times in situations like the hairdressers,
doctor's offices, masseurs, rooms with people sitting around.
Of course, waiting areas aren't so bad now since everybody has their faces in their
smart phones!
I thought about becoming a nun when I was 18. Maybe I should have.

So many times, I've been asked if I am alright.
Because I didn't hold chit-chat.
It happened two days ago at the podiatrist's.

I told a massage therapist once that wanted to talk incessantly and ask why
I didn't, "Still waters run deep."
She asked what that meant.
I told her I guess she would find out.
Click to expand...
Yeah massage therapists, uber drivers, barbers, etc... Love small talk and I'm like lol
 
I can relate to what everyone is saying. It sounds like a mix of both physical and psychological discomfort for some, as it is for me.

I find it takes tremendous effort to speak and usually I only do it because I have low self-esteem and I am easily pressured into masking.

I think my natural speech pattern is to mutter, although again I’m not sure if this has come from a lifetime of low self-esteem and wondering if what I have to say is even worth it. Either way, without judgment, I would say most people just speak far too much and fill the silence with the drivel. Quiet is hugely underrated, in my opinion.

As a special education teacher’s assistant, I developed wonderful relationships with children who have selective mutism. We just understood each other and we had a great teacher student relationship. Spoken word is not always necessary with other humans.

Even when I do choose to use words, spoken ones anyway, I do not trust that people are receiving them as I intended. Another reason why written communication is preferable to me, I suppose.
 
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