Discomfort With Body Hair (Bullet List Followed By Rant)

[Joshua the Writer]

Okay, so, I really hate having body hair. Here is why:

• It's uncomfortable and itchy.
• It just traps sweat (especially in the private areas of my body).
• It gets all greasy because it traps skin oils, as well.
• Not to mention how it feels when some clothes are up against it.
• Butt hair (especially between the crack) feels weird.
• It's uncomfy and just doesn't feel right.
• Armpit hair feels funny when it rubs up against armpit skin.
• It doesn't feel comfortable whether or not I'm wearing clothes.
• Sometimes when my body hair shifts across my skin, I immediately think a spider or insect is crawling on me (I'm terrified of both).
• Feels very strange when it is wet.
• If I get a cut or scrape on my legs or arms, the blood can get trapped by it, which is terrible considering how quick blood dries. It's hard to simply wipe dried blood off of body hair, which is also dry. Not to mention some of the blood can get under it.
• Pubic hair is unusually much more rough, course, and itchy compared to every single other strand of hair on my body. Why is it so dang rough and itchy? I hate it!

Now onto the rant: My parents won't let me shave my body hair because it is, for some reason, inappropriate. However, it's perfectly fine if a girl shaves her body hair, and is in fact apparently what a girl should do. This double standard fact that, apparently, I cannot go out to eat at a place like Cracker Barrel (which is far from a nice restaurant) in a tank top because, apparently "nobody wants to see my armpit hair," despite the fact that not many people would give a crap about seeing another human's armpit hair, and also the fact that my armpit hair isn't going to be seen well most of the time. The only time somebody could see my armpit hair well is if I stretch. Even then, most people wouldn't give a crap.

I can't wear a tank top when going out for dinner due to the incredibly rare possibility that somebody might see my armpit hair and be disgusted by that, but I can't solve that issue by shaving my armpit hair off, despite having a perfectly good razor because shaving armpit hair is seen as "unmanly" and "gross." Yeah, that perfect logic totally checks out (sarcasm).

It's like being given a computer with a fried CPU, and you have a perfectly good spare CPU lying around that you can put in it, but you aren't allowed to use it for some reason, because the person who gave you said computer knows you aren't certified in fixing computers, so it would be inappropriate for you to replace the CPU.

I freaking hate body hair. It's gross, it traps sweat and oil secretions, it's rough, it's course, it's itchy, and I just want to get rid of the freaking disgusting stuff. Screw body hair! I hate it! Ugh! It messes with my sensory issues and I just freaking hate it!

 

[BrokenBoy]

Yeah sometimes I just shave it all in the shower, pubes included. It makes me feel soft and fluffy.

 

[onlything]

Society and it's annoying stereotypes again eh.

I understand the reason for the dislike, though I don't mind hair myself too much unless it's too long or gets smelly and I hate shaving it - it makes my skin itchy and dry and is just such a waste of time to me that I could use for something interesting instead. But no, shaving hair is expected and proper for a woman and if she doesn't do it, then clearly she's gross, disorganised and unkempt.

Why can't we let people shave their hair whenever and however they wish, gender notwithstanding. It's such a silly issue to despise others for... To each their own, some like peppers, some like tomatoes and all that jazz.

 

[Thinx]

Well, as a cat, I am naturally furry, and wouldn't like to shave not to mention the lack of opposable thumbs which has no doubt prevented cats from developing that idea. But yes, amongst humans, the gender differences around this are weird, although again, I actually have never cared about such norms, and neither will the OP have to once they are independent. Sorry to hear this is so trying for you.

 

[Misery]

Yeah I always shave it all off. I dont have all that much to begin with, but I still loathe it.

Honestly society is so freaking weird about this. The only one who should be deciding this is you.

 

[BrokenBoy]

Honestly society is so freaking weird about this. The only one who should be deciding this is you.

Are they really? I haven't really experienced any negative feedback for something like that. I thought people generally dislike pubic hair.

 

[Sara3]

Yeah! Screw body hair!

 

[menander]

I can't stand the feel of shaving, so I am like a nice hairy ape Ahhhh, hair, soft and fuzzy

 

[Fino]

Why not just shave then? Can anyone really stop you from that?

 

[Au Naturel]

There is a growing community where guys shaving it all off is considered cool. Google "manscaping." A fair part of it is in the Gay community but there's also a large straight contingent of manscapers.

At nudist resorts I see a lot of men and women who are "smooth" all over. Some women think hair looks "animalistic" on a man while others like it because it looks masculine. Some want at least some body hair, otherwise you look like a large 12 year old. Other women don't care. Gays are split the same way.

But it is true that many people would look askance at a guy shaving his pits. It is different and being different is always a risk. And it is traditionally something we expect women to do in order to be more sexually appealing to men. Unless you're in a more cosmopolitan area, shaving body hair will be viewed as gay behavior. Or narcisistic behavior. (What your mother probably thinks of it.)

Have you seen many other guys at Cracker Barrel in tank tops? Fashion sense is something Aspies may come up lacking in. Something she may be hypersensitive about. When I was a kid, mom wanted me to look "nice" when we went out to eat.

 

[All-Rounder]

Honestly your parents should know there are way worse things a son could do than shave their body hair.

People don't have to look at your armpit hair while eating, and didn't they say it's not okay to shave it? So which is it, to shave or not to shave? They are so confused of their own minds.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

But it is true that many people would look askance at a guy shaving his pits. It is different and being different is always a risk. And it is traditionally something we expect women to do in order to be more sexually appealing to men. Unless you're in a more cosmopolitan area, shaving body hair will be viewed as gay behavior. Or narcisistic behavior. (What your mother probably thinks of it.)

Have you seen many other guys at Cracker Barrel in tank tops? Fashion sense is something Aspies may come up lacking in. Something she may be hypersensitive about. When I was a kid, mom wanted me to look "nice" when we went out to eat.

Actually, it is my dad who seems more against me shaving my body hair. And it's my dad who said I couldn't wear a tank top in cracker barrel. Cracker Barrel, while it does have good food, is far from "fancy." It's a place that sells country food. I've seen people there that my parents would call "underdressed" (such as girls in crop or tube tops). I've seen multiple people with tank tops on, as well. It's a casual restaurant. Their dress code is basically, "don't shop or eat here in just your underwear." It's not a very likely place for somebody to organize a business meeting at, and they even have a freaking store built into it! You don't even have to spend money at Cracker Barrel via eating there. You can buy candy or a vinyl, or something at the store. I've seen people go in, buy something from the store, and leave before.

Both of my parents know I'm LGBT+ (although I told them that I'm bisexual, instead of pansexual, and I haven't told them I'm genderfluid yet). Apparently some people think of men who shave their body hair as "gay". I don't see how anybody would see shaving body hair as narcissistic, though.

Honestly your parents should know there are way worse things a son could do than shave their body hair.

People don't have to look at your armpit hair while eating, and didn't they say it's not okay to shave it? So which is it, to shave or not to shave? They are so confused of their own minds.

Yes! Exactly! I could be doing worse things. I could be robbing a bank, or stealing from a cash register, or doing drugs. But, no. I want to shave my body hair and my parents won't let me for some reason. It's not harming them, so why would they give a crap about what I do with my own body?

Exactly! Most of the time at a restaurant, people are paying attention to what is going on at their table and eating their own food, else they are annoying snoopers who don't know how to mind their own business. I scan the immediate area I'm in when I am in a restaurant and I am seated(because it makes me safer for whatever reason), and, besides that, I don't look around at other tables just to judge other people's fashion sense and/or body hair (or lack thereof). Most normal people just wouldn't give a crap.

Logically, I wouldn't give a rat's hiney if people are wearing a tank top, crop tube, tube top and athletic shorts (or even short shorts for that matter) while at a restaurant, or any other public place. Especially since I'm what most people would call "not very fashionable." Heck, I've worn a combination of athletic shorts, tank top, and a light jacket before. I have no place to judge.

I'm most certainly not going to judge what people do with their body hair. It's their own body, so they can do what they want with it. It's not hurting other people, so why bother?

 

[Misery]

Well, I can say one thing... you sure have way more patience and tolerance for dealing with this kind of nonsense than I ever could. Commendable.

Were it me in this situation I would have simply done the shaving anyway, and then probably punctuated the situation by throwing a box of crackers at someone for good measure.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Okay, so, I really hate having body hair. Here is why:

• It's uncomfortable and itchy.
• It just traps sweat (especially in the private areas of my body).
• It gets all greasy because it traps skin oils, as well.
• Not to mention how it feels when some clothes are up against it.
• Butt hair (especially between the crack) feels weird.
• It's uncomfy and just doesn't feel right.
• Armpit hair feels funny when it rubs up against armpit skin.
• It doesn't feel comfortable whether or not I'm wearing clothes.
• Sometimes when my body hair shifts across my skin, I immediately think a spider or insect is crawling on me (I'm terrified of both).
• Feels very strange when it is wet.
• If I get a cut or scrape on my legs or arms, the blood can get trapped by it, which is terrible considering how quick blood dries. It's hard to simply wipe dried blood off of body hair, which is also dry. Not to mention some of the blood can get under it.
• Pubic hair is unusually much more rough, course, and itchy compared to every single other strand of hair on my body. Why is it so dang rough and itchy? I hate it!

Now onto the rant: My parents won't let me shave my body hair because it is, for some reason, inappropriate. However, it's perfectly fine if a girl shaves her body hair, and is in fact apparently what a girl should do. This double standard fact that, apparently, I cannot go out to eat at a place like Cracker Barrel (which is far from a nice restaurant) in a tank top because, apparently "nobody wants to see my armpit hair," despite the fact that not many people would give a crap about seeing another human's armpit hair, and also the fact that my armpit hair isn't going to be seen well most of the time. The only time somebody could see my armpit hair well is if I stretch. Even then, most people wouldn't give a crap.

I can't wear a tank top when going out for dinner due to the incredibly rare possibility that somebody might see my armpit hair and be disgusted by that, but I can't solve that issue by shaving my armpit hair off, despite having a perfectly good razor because shaving armpit hair is seen as "unmanly" and "gross." Yeah, that perfect logic totally checks out (sarcasm).

It's like being given a computer with a fried CPU, and you have a perfectly good spare CPU lying around that you can put in it, but you aren't allowed to use it for some reason, because the person who gave you said computer knows you aren't certified in fixing computers, so it would be inappropriate for you to replace the CPU.

I freaking hate body hair. It's gross, it traps sweat and oil secretions, it's rough, it's course, it's itchy, and I just want to get rid of the freaking disgusting stuff. Screw body hair! I hate it! Ugh! It messes with my sensory issues and I just freaking hate it!

When I hit puberty I was horrified to grow hair, I was also horrified to learn from my mum that my armpits had started smelling. I think it was down to low self esteem.
I'm female.
I felt dirty even though I washed.
I developed a weird fixation on greasy hair as mine needed washing daily, I would not admit that I was a greasy person so oddly, I put hand lotion in my hair so I could not tell the grease from the lotion.

 

[Judge]

For a ten year old wanting to have their ears pierced, I could see the intervention of parents.

However over a 17-year old who merely chooses to shave their own body hair, I see this as a violation of their child's personal space. A step too far IMO. I guess his father has never known any kids on a competitive swim team. Where all the body hair goes and no one questions it.

Kind of reminds me of being at war with my own military father over the length of my hair.

-A battle I eventually won.

 

[paloftoon]

Your parents don't want to deal with the public's response if you were to wear a tank top or shave your body hair. I'm guessing you look like either the picture in your profile or very masculine based on your nickname or "nickname". If you live in a small town, there would probably more of a backlash in your community. It's possible that while you're living with them, if you pose yourself as a certain way, maybe your parents are unconsciously afraid it will affect their jobs and they don't want to deal with the pressure. I'm sure part of it is tradition too. You would most certainly be more accepted in certain urban areas more and things like that.

As to Judge's comment, it's acceptable to shave off body hair if you're swimming. I think it's okay for runners as well. If you aren't in either of these sports, then it might not be considered acceptable for society.

When you are more independent for yourself, you can care for yourself and dress the way you want to. You can work with all the responsibilities and potential consequences that come out of what you choose to do.

 

[Autistic Yoda]

"But, no. I want to shave my body hair and my parents won't let me for some reason." ...And what can they possibly do to you if you shave it (or my style instead, trim it tight using the #1 attachment)? Would they glue it back on? Long straggly body hair doesn't look good on anyone.

Also, you gain power by behaving as a classy gentleman at all times. Do such gentlemen commonly wear tank tops in public when not participating in sports or beach leisure? You like tank tops, but you like power and the ability to control your situations even more.

Here's what happens. My parents wanted me religious. They shoved orthodoxy down my throat all day, so they got an atheist son. Your dad wants you straight and cishet? He'd best be careful how hard he pushes...

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Your parents don't want to deal with the public's response if you were to wear a tank top or shave your body hair. I'm guessing you look like either the picture in your profile or very masculine based on your nickname or "nickname". If you live in a small town, there would probably more of a backlash in your community. It's possible that while you're living with them, if you pose yourself as a certain way, maybe your parents are unconsciously afraid it will affect their jobs and they don't want to deal with the pressure. I'm sure part of it is tradition too. You would most certainly be more accepted in certain urban areas more and things like that.

As to Judge's comment, it's acceptable to shave off body hair if you're swimming. I think it's okay for runners as well. If you aren't in either of these sports, then it might not be considered acceptable for society.

When you are more independent for yourself, you can care for yourself and dress the way you want to. You can work with all the responsibilities and potential consequences that come out of what you choose to do.

I live in a suburban area of a decent-sized city with a highly diverse population. Nobody would give a crap. Both of my parents grew up in a town, but that town is now technically a city. I don't even go out much.

I don't think most people anywhere would give a crap. If they find the fact that I don't shave my body hair as gross and unmanly, then that's their problem, not mine. If I'm wearing a skirt and tank top (or even a dress) and remove all body hair, and I went out into public, most ordinary people would not care. If somebody did care, then that's their issue.

If some random stranger does insult me for shaving my body hair, I am perfectly capable of either replying with a clever comeback or just simply ignore them. Again, their problem, not mine.

I'm actually genderfluid, so whether or not I'm feeling masculine or not depends on the day, tbh.

 

[Misery]

I live in a suburban area of a decent-sized city with a highly diverse population. Nobody would give a crap. Both of my parents grew up in a town, but that town is now technically a city. I don't even go out much.

I don't think anybody anywhere would give a crap.

Not just that: Most people arent perceptive enough to even NOTICE.

You've gotta be pretty far "out there" in terms of appearance in order to be noticable for it. I speak from experience.

Also, you gain power by behaving as a classy gentleman at all times

That's really subjective though. And very dependent on one's personaltiy.

Sure wouldnt see me doing it.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Not just that: Most people arent perceptive enough to even NOTICE.

You've gotta be pretty far "out there" in terms of appearance in order to be noticable for it. I speak from experience.

I think something like this is what you're talking about:

Spoiler: multiple facial piercings

I'd understandably see why somebody might find this disturbing and gross.

But I don't understand why somebody would think of a male human removing his body hair as gross.