Discouraging check-out line conversation

[Jumpinbare]

I was at the cash register in the local 7-11 store today wearing one of my autism shirts, and the clerk (a 20-something male) said "I really like your shirt. Where did you get it?"
I told him Amazon. He was surprised by that then asked "Do you think I should get one?"
I said it was up to him, and asked if he was autistic. He replied "sometimes".
I told him it wasn't a sometimes thing. He asked what I meant. He seemed truly puzzled. I said you're born with autism, and then have to live with it.
He still seemed confused, but there were several people in line behind me, so I took my receipt and left.
With all the autism awareness campaigns I have seen on TV and billboards, etc., I really thought most adults would have a basic understanding that autism is a neurological condition, but this young man who has to deal with the public all day for work had the notion that he could sometimes be autistic.

 

[Kaz2012]

Ugh...so over this mindset. Or there is the classic "well everyone is a little bit autistic aren't they?"...umm no. But they don't get it. Like it's something that comes and goes like a headache....

 

[tree]

A generous interpretation of 'being autistic sometimes' would be
that he meant his behavior varies. Sometimes more in one direction
than another.

 

[Xinyta]

I honestly believe the situation was what @tree said.

Though I can understand where @Jumpinbare is coming from. Just saying 'sometimes' without providing context, does make it look like your saying your condition just turns on and off at random. Which doesn't make sense.

 

[Neri]

I'm getting this a lot "We"re all a little bit in the spectrum though, aren't we?", or some such variation of such.
People are trying to be inclusive, I guess. They don't get it though, do they? Not remotely (Yes, that was a rhetorical question).
I feel quite frustrated and alienated by this common misconception, although feeling alienated is a pretty default mode for me, anyway.
Sigh.

I know people with autism who can't be bothered to learn about autism too, like my dad.

One thing to consider, maybe that guy IS Autistic and is struggling, with awareness of himself, in that he's quite dissociated from his own experiences.

I'm just saying this as a late diagnosed woman (at 50, just last month) as I was chronically dissociated for years, so I had no idea how I was feeling, as I was pretty "checked out". I didn't know I was autistic. I knew I was struggling a lot, but no one was helping me figure out that I was an autie.

It's possible that guy is a little further along than I was for all those years, in that he's at the "contemplation stage". I wouldn't be too quick to judge him, you just never know, with people, sometimes (ok, for us, maybe a lot of the time) or maybe he's an ADHDer which has overlapping symptoms... He's obviously relating to some of what he relates to as autistic. Maybe next time, if you felt like it, you could ask why he thinks he "feels autistic sometimes"?

 

[Misty Avich]

I feel like a "sometimes", "half-and-half" autistic too. Often "autism fluid" or whatever it is. It's like autism is red and non-autism is blue and I'm purple.

It's hard for cases like mine when all we hear now is "autism is binary, you either have it 100% or 0%" and "there's no such thing as severity levels any more".

 

[Judge]

Yeah. Exactly why on occasion if a total stranger comments about me in any way, I'm now likely to look at them and say, "autistic children grow up to be autistic adults". And then I just walk away...

Sometimes people here seem to think it's some kind of "childrens' disease". -Wrong on both counts.

As for people saying , "It must be my OCD".....don't even go there.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I was at the cash register in the local 7-11 store today wearing one of my autism shirts, and the clerk (a 20-something male) said "I really like your shirt. Where did you get it?"
I told him Amazon. He was surprised by that then asked "Do you think I should get one?"
I said it was up to him, and asked if he was autistic. He replied "sometimes".
I told him it wasn't a sometimes thing. He asked what I meant. He seemed truly puzzled. I said you're born with autism, and then have to live with it.
He still seemed confused, but there were several people in line behind me, so I took my receipt and left.
With all the autism awareness campaigns I have seen on TV and billboards, etc., I really thought most adults would have a basic understanding that autism is a neurological condition, but this young man who has to deal with the public all day for work had the notion that he could sometimes be autistic.

Perhaps he thought so because we're often depicted in media as very different people who struggle to be non-Autistic. So in that sense we are sometimes Autistic and sometimes "normal."

 

[Aspychata]

Let's focus on the good. You had a conversation about autuism. And you weren't beat up, declared a retard, and all those unmentionable things. This may not seem like progress to you. But it's progress to me. Sometimes saying you are that brings out other behaviors. Now people are identifying with this. Hey, what's the problem???????????
One out of 100 responses is good. Bad PR is still good. And by the way, thanks for having the guts to wear that tee-shirt. My hat is off to you. You are a success story to me. And thanks for being here at this forum.

 

[Rodafina]

Another interpretation of this interaction is that this young man is trying to figure himself out. Many of us with lifelong undiagnosed autism took a while to come to terms with exactly what it meant for us and accept that a label of Autism fit well. It can be rather confusing, and difficult to say "I am autistic," at first. There is a chance he is in a phase of self discovery and acceptance. Difficult to tell with such a brief interaction full of extraneous stimuli.

 

[Aspychata]

But it's good to open discussion and talk about this.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Maybe next time, if you felt like it, you could ask why he thinks he "feels autistic sometimes"?

Assuming I recognize him next time. I'm not great with faces. Also, there's a lot of turn-over at that store from what I've been told, so he might not be around long.

It's hard for cases like mine when all we hear now is "autism is binary, you either have it 100% or 0%" and "there's no such thing as severity levels any more".

I thought the 1,2 and 3 descriptors appended to ASD are severity levels.

 

[tree]

It's hard for cases like mine when all we hear now is "autism is binary, you either have it 100% or 0%" and "there's no such thing as severity levels any more".

Where are you hearing that?

 

[Rodafina]

It's hard for cases like mine when all we hear now is "autism is binary, you either have it 100% or 0%" and "there's no such thing as severity levels any more".

I am also wondering where you heard this.

What you've stated is the exact opposite of what I've come to understand.

 

[Neri]

I feel like a "sometimes", "half-and-half" autistic too. Often "autism fluid" or whatever it is. It's like autism is red and non-autism is blue and I'm purple.

It's hard for cases like mine when all we hear now is "autism is binary, you either have it 100% or 0%" and "there's no such thing as severity levels any more".

There are such thing as severity levels, still. I just got diagnosed with ASD2. It means I sail through into getting a decent "early intervention" support plan that will help me thrive from here on (which is funny because I'm already half a century in) although I also heard that here in Australia, people with ADHD who weren't eligible for this support package were getting diagnosed with ASD1 just so they would be eligible, because ADHD isn't recognized as being severe enough on its own, nor is ASD1.
In Australia it really matters what number you get when you are seeking support.

 

[Misty Avich]

Many autistics argue that every autism case is just autism, because apparently everyone's autism profiles are too spiky to be leveled by severity. Apparently the autism spectrum isn't a scale with severity levels, it's now supposed to be a rainbow colour spectrum with no cases being less severe or more severe than the next case.

 

[Rodafina]

Many autistics argue that every autism case is just autism

But, who are these "many autistics?"

Where did you hear or read these things?

Have you considered your sources carefully?

Are you familiar with ASD 1, ASD 2, and ASD 3?

https://www.verywellhealth.com/what...utism-260233#The DSM's Three Levels of Autism

 

[Misty Avich]

But, who are these "many autistics?"

Where did you hear or read these things?

Have you considered your sources carefully?

Are you familiar with ASD 1, ASD 2, and ASD 3?

I've been on other autism sites where the people were so against any severity levels and claimed that autism was just autism because most of them were high-functioning until they had a meltdown then they became low-functioning, therefore questioned which severity level they would qualify as.
I always say cases like that are "somewhere in the middle", probably level 2. But they got offended and wouldn't listen to what you're telling me now.

 

[Neri]

Many autistics argue that every autism case is just autism, because apparently everyone's autism profiles are too spiky to be leveled by severity. Apparently the autism spectrum isn't a scale with severity levels, it's now supposed to be a rainbow colour spectrum with no cases being less severe or more severe than the next case.

That might be because of the stance by a lot of autistic people, meant to discourage the notion of "High functioning" and "low functioning". The main reason behind this, in terms of advocacy, is the sentiment that; the label of
"High functioning" leads to deprivation of supports, while "low functioning" leads to a denial of agency.

So autistic people who are involved in the advocacy side of things would rather stand in solidarity with ALL autistic people.

And like you say, our functionality is "spiky" so it's not that "cut and dried" when it comes to determining how much support autistic people require.

Those who are "non verbal" can be very articulate and cognitively able, just unable to speak verbally, those with "cognitive impairment" can still articulate how and where they want to live. My second born son is a case in point for this. Those with "high IQ's" (such as myself) can still struggle with day to day functionality, in a myriad of ways, even though we appear highly articulate, capable and even "charismatic", so that is why, I think, "the autistic community" at large, rally against the terms "high functioning" and "low functioning", because we are too complex and spikey for that particular type of delineation.

However, the DSM manual delineation of having a 1, 2, and 3 gradient system might still be useful in determining HOW MUCH day to day support we require.
Many autistic people can drive, work and live independently, they would, pretty much, be considered a "one", I, however, and other "two-ies" may not be able to drive or work to support themselves financially. And people like my son ~ a "three", need constant prompting and care, much like a young child needs constant care.

Is this helping you understand the complexity of why we don't like SOME functionality labels and see the benefit of others @Misty Avich ?

 

[Rodafina]

I've been on other autism sites where the people were so against any severity levels and claimed that autism was just autism because most of them were high-functioning until they had a meltdown then they became low-functioning, therefore questioned which severity level they would qualify as.
I always say cases like that are "somewhere in the middle", probably level 2. But they got offended and wouldn't listen to what you're telling me now.

I see. Thank you for explaining. It sounds like you ran into some people with strong opinions.