Do Any Of you Feel even In autism groups You Don't Know What To Say?

[Amethystgirl]

The ironic thing is in real life I'm quite loud when I speak but in these 2 groups that I've started (2 virtual autism groups) I'm very quiet because I don't know what to say. And I feel awkward when I don't know what to say and it can be complicated and I feel I can't win if I'm too loud and it becomes to awkward when I barely say anything.

 

[Suzanne]

I am the same and why I will never join any kind of group.

Just because there is a similar theme, does not mean that we are all the same.

When one on one, I can be loud and very friendly. Any more, and I am so silent, I am forgotten about.

This is the first forum, I have ever felt comfortable with.

 

[Progster]

I haven't had experience of autism groups, but when in a group that's talking or discussing something, I often don't speak. This can be because I can't think of something to say, or they're discussing something I know nothing about or have no interest in. And even when I do want to say something, the conversation has already moved on before I'm ready to speak and I don't get a chance.

 

[Misty Avich]

I remember about 10 years ago or so, I had joined this social group thing for adults with learning disabilities or mental health problems. But I felt so shy there, that I ended up having hardly any interaction with anybody. I felt like I was just this mysterious person who turned up and just existed there. We all sat around a large table with different activities to do such as colouring or knitting. Among the group there were two older women and a man, who had some sort of learning deficit (I could tell by the way they talked) but they wouldn't stop talking loudly the whole time I was there. I actually found everything they talked about interesting, so I was quite happy to just listen to their rambling when I was colouring, because it was like listening to a podcast.

 

[Dagan]

Yes, still. Most of what I say is something where I'm trying to relate to the topic, but I do often worry that it only comes across as trying to talk about myself. Oops. I don't mean that at all, and then I'll get self-conscious to the Nth degree, etc. To make it clear, yes, I can relate, haha.

 

[Misty Avich]

Yes, still. Most of what I say is something where I'm trying to relate to the topic, but I do often worry that it only comes across as trying to talk about myself. Oops. I don't mean that at all, and then I'll get self-conscious to the Nth degree, etc. To make it clear, yes, I can relate, haha.

Oh yes I feel this way too. I worry that I'm a narcissist if I talk about myself too much.

 

[Shillelagh]

Uhhh

 

[NDR2]

My problem in groups is more that I don’t know when to say something. There may be something I want to say, and I wait for the person who’s currently speaking to finish. Then someone else chimes in.

 

[VictorR]

My experiences with autism groups are the same as I've had in other groups.

Sometimes there's good all around discussion that I join in here and there, sometimes I'm mostly listening and occasionally commenting, sometimes I'm a bystander, and on rare occasions, I'm talking a lot.

It all depends on the group and activity, and sometimes even with the same group and activity, different participants can change the group dynamics considerably.

 

[Cryptid]

I stopped going to groups because I never felt supported.

The sessions were either dominated by just one person re-re-re-relating his or her single most vivid childhood trauma, or the rest of the group gaslighted and dismissed my experiences and the feelings I had about them.

I get better "therapy" playing Dungeons & Dragons.