• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Do Aspies find it scary to have such a large number of facebook friends.

Dirtdigger

Dirtdigger

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
As a person with Aspergers Syndrome with serious social problems, I just don't understand why some Aspies with the same social problems are so bent on lots and lots of facebook friends, especially making friends to drive up the facebook users number. I feel uncomfortable when I see an excessive number of friends that other Aspies has made on facebook.

Am a crazy or is this a behavior Aspies are in the habit of doing to make an impression? :O_o:

I only have 47 friends on my facebook page and they are friends for the most part, I have worked with in the past. I also have a few friends that are neighbors or have met quite a while back on other forums. Amy Marsh, the sexologist is also on my page. And I have no intention of making a record number of friends just to impress. What about the rest of you? Sorry if this sounds like a rant. :banghead:
 
"Only" 47 friends?!! :P By the way, how did you get the smiley face in your thread (goggle-eyed yellow one). I like it, but can see it on my options for ipad... :(

I have only a handful of people I know on Facebook, and only joined it years ago because a friend asked me to. I never get messages, and never talk on it. It's a huge waste of space in my opinion :)

AC central is where I feel "at home", as Facebook is too open to be any real use to me.
 
I have lived in four different states and I graduated from a class with over 600 people. I have classmates, co workers, six colleges, family, other forums I am on for fish keeping, churches past and present, neighbors and childhood babysitters, and past co workers. Some are people I have met through Facebook from other countries, just accepted them because I'm fascinated with other languages and cultures.
 
Tarragon said:
By the way, how did you get the smiley face in your thread (goggle-eyed yellow one).
Click to expand...

It was in the list of smilies they have here. You may have to click and drag a corner on the smilies window to make it bigger so you can see all of the smilies if you aren't familiar with this.
 
Dirtdigger said:
It was in the list of smilies they have here. You may have to click and drag a corner on the smilies window to make it bigger so you can see all of the smilies if you aren't familiar with this.
Click to expand...

ahhh.... gotcha! I just drag the contents on my ipad! Doh! :smile:
 
Tarragon said:
"Only" 47 friends?!! :P By the way, how did you get the smiley face in your thread (goggle-eyed yellow one). I like it, but can see it on my options for ipad... :(

I have only a handful of people I know on Facebook, and only joined it years ago because a friend asked me to. I never get messages, and never talk on it. It's a huge waste of space in my opinion :)

AC central is where I feel "at home", as Facebook is too open to be any real use to me.
Click to expand...

I really don't think 47 facebook friends are too many considering some Aspies has got almost 400 facebook friends. I would of had a lot more but I blocked at least thirty friends since I've been on facebook because mostly they were posting filth on my facebook page. The other reasons were inactivity or if someone said something that made me mad such as one woman that I worked with for 19 1/2 years at one place, said I didn't know what I was talking about and called me stupid over a political opinion I have. I have so many social issues that I don't even want half the friends that are still on my facebook page. But, there are a few I will never block since I have like minded folks who also have Aspergers and that I can chat with.
 
I don't really think about how many facebook friends I have, I had to go check. I have 203 facebook friends on my real account. Most are family, people I used to work with, and people I went to school with. Some were people that were mean to me in school, but I have found by adding them and finding out they are decent people now, helps me to let go of the bitterness and anger. I messaged one of the evil high school cheerleaders, just to add her, and she goes "yeah, I was a cheerleader which basically means asshole. Fortunately, I know better now." It made me feel better. When she posted pictures of her and her fiance, later her wedding, and her new baby, I felt genuinely happy for her. So now I will add anyone I went to school with. As long as they aren't all negative and mean now. Family is more difficult, sometimes things are said that upset me, but I feel like if I don't delete them I won't know what is going on. There is one person I had to delete because of hostile posts, even if I agreed with him, I felt attacked. But now I feel the same way about my ex roommate. The thing is, she was kind of my best friend for a long time, and she would be so offended if deleted her, and I feel like that would cause drama as well. Its not like she is doing anything mean, it just feels so hostile. She made a post awhile back about how people were calling her a hater, and she was like these people just don't want to hear the truth. I can handle the "truth" (really its her interpretation of the truth, which is fine, but all politics is biased) but why do people have to be hostile about it.
 
I used to obsessively un-friend anyone who didn't hold frequent conversations with me, or whom I felt I didn't know very well. Now I am up to a little over 100 friends and sometimes it makes me nervous, but I find that "hide"ing the statuses of people who I like generally but don't agree with makes me feel safer. I am trying to be more open to friends... I figure if someone adds me there, they want to keep up with me, even if they don't comment. At least, that's why I add people.
 
aphrodite_mine said:
I used to obsessively un-friend anyone who didn't hold frequent conversations with me, or whom I felt I didn't know very well. Now I am up to a little over 100 friends and sometimes it makes me nervous, but I find that "hide"ing the statuses of people who I like generally but don't agree with makes me feel safer. I am trying to be more open to friends... I figure if someone adds me there, they want to keep up with me, even if they don't comment. At least, that's why I add people.
Click to expand...

I am gonna try hiding posts see if that makes me feel better.
 
Pella said:
I am gonna try hiding posts see if that makes me feel better.
Click to expand...


I hide posts that I feel uncomfortable with. Some of the posts that annoy me the most is how men disrespect woman on facebook. Some men just see woman as sex objects or punching bags.
 
aphrodite_mine said:
I used to obsessively un-friend anyone who didn't hold frequent conversations with me, or whom I felt I didn't know very well. Now I am up to a little over 100 friends and sometimes it makes me nervous, but I find that "hide"ing the statuses of people who I like generally but don't agree with makes me feel safer. I am trying to be more open to friends... I figure if someone adds me there, they want to keep up with me, even if they don't comment. At least, that's why I add people.
Click to expand...


I do that. I have 65 "friends" though most are actually people I've talked to at least a bit and I get rid of people who I don't talk to really. To me if I'm not talking to them then I don't really need to know what's going on with them and so I click the unfriend button. I also don't ignore the requests very well so I end up accepting the request and then later on unfriending them. Oh well
 
I block 2 more facebook friends the other day. The one facebook friend had an unbelievably bad attitude who hated the world, even hated herself and even telling all of her facebook friends that she is going to deactivate her account which she never did. She is always using the "F" word. The mother was OK but she was always defending her daughter's really bad attitude so I decided to block her too. I threatend to block another person because he was posting filth on my facebook page. I know others don't like this kind of stuff either. So, if he does it one more time he will be history too. He admitted to posting this filth so it can't be blamed on any hacking.
 
I have about 80 people on facebook now, and I pretty much don't communicate with them. They're just... there. Yes, some people from here are on my facebook, which is fine. I'm not ignoring anyone as such. I try to use facebook for some comedic relief mostly, maybe to get updated on news of stuff I like, but I try to skip all the drama. I'm not going to instantly unfriend people because they have some personal drama, but I will update my settings so I will only see the most important stuff you post. Because of that, my facebook has been rather pleasant. No BS going on, no drama, just a lot of fun.

As for the notion of " friends" . About 2 years ago, I posted something on facebook in regards to "friends". I felt, and still do, that social media messes up with my preconception of the word friend. They're not my friends, at best, they're " people I know from somewhere" .

Aside from a handful of people, I never went on to look and add people myself. I feel that if you add someone, you should enhance said persons life. If I want to be part of your life, I better have something to bring to the table. Why else should I be around? I'm sure that I require more attention than a goldfish. And I'm also quite sure that I can get into better fights than a goldfish as well if I don't receive said attention.

I never found people posting stuff that was really, really offensive. And as such have a valid reason to unfriend them. Maybe it's just me, and that I know who is within my group of friends as such.

I don't have any issues accepting anyone on facebook, even if it's someone I don't really know. But chances are that at some point I'm like "who the F are you?" and conclude I don't know you and you have no reason to be around. Especially if it's people with thousands of friends and have them just to spread around invites for events.

The idea of people having a lot of friends doesn't make sense to me. I feel that having friends requires attention. That notion has died off a little cause of social media. Giving attention has dwindled down to liking someones post to let him/her know you care. But if that's all there is to it... :O_o:
 
To me they don't count as people. I can turn facebook off or on depending on whether I feel like it, something that's a bit harder to do with real life encounters. So if I'm feeling social, I'll see who's on. If not, I know it's there the next time I do. I have a little over 300, and they're all people I knew in high school (and liked) or that I am currently friends with. I never accept randoms, that just weirds me out.
 
It sounds a little judgmental to say that people with a lot of friends are trying to "impress"people. Who would that impress? Everyone knows they are not "real" friends. Besides, since when does your number of friends, real or not, have anything to do with personal value? I have nearly 5000 facebook friends. I do it for work. It is called social networking. In real life, I have 3 friends. It all has to do with the literary world for me. I post about books, writers, publishers and the like. I have a blog that does the same. Also a twitter account. I like this form of publicity work because it is all done on a computer and does not require phone calls (which I hate) or face to face time (which I find stressful). So internet friends for work suits me just fine.
 
Biblio-Love said:
It sounds a little judgmental to say that people with a lot of friends are trying to "impress"people. Who would that impress? Everyone knows they are not "real" friends.
Click to expand...

Genuine adults know that, but a lot of people don't. And some just have a different definition of "friend" in the first place.
 
Nah, I have slightly over 300 Facebook friends and it doesn't overwhelm or scare me. I'd say at least 200 of my Facebook friends are truelly good friends.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom