Do this also happen to you?

[Sora]

I know that lack of empathy is like a myth about autism, but something that happens often to me is to not understand why do people get so worked up over things related to people that aren't even remotely related to them?
Like, if something were to happen with a friend or a family member I would get really shook and worried but if it's about someone I saw in the news I'd just think "well, that happens" or something like that. I remember watching something about a guy who got into a church in the city I live and shot people then shot himself. While literally everyone around me was shocked saying I could only think how inconvenient and nosy that guy was for going there, making that mess and just getting away from it like that.
Though when something happens with animals I get really pissed off. Like when they're killed in the zoo because of a stupid human's mistake.
I think this is something limited to humans only.
Does this happen to any of you too? Is it weird? Does it make part of me a bad person?

 

[Fino]

It's normal, although sometimes I feel like a psychopath.
I often wonder why people get upset when an old person dies.

 

[some/aspies/need/hugs/13]

I get upset if it is someone I know, a child, or animals. I can see anyone else get stuck with a needle but if my mom is getting stuck I can't be in the room.. I will pass out.

 

[Streetwise]

I know that lack of empathy is like a myth about autism, but something that happens often to me is to not understand why do people get so worked up over things related to people that aren't even remotely related to them?
Like, if something were to happen with a friend or a family member I would get really shook and worried but if it's about someone I saw in the news I'd just think "well, that happens" or something like that. I remember watching something about a guy who got into a church in the city I live and shot people then shot himself. While literally everyone around me was shocked saying I could only think how inconvenient and nosy that guy was for going there, making that mess and just getting away from it like that.
Though when something happens with animals I get really pissed off. Like when they're killed in the zoo because of a stupid human's mistake.
I think this is something limited to humans only.
Does this happen to any of you too? Is it weird? Does it make part of me a bad person?

i’m very slightly different but it’s because I’ve been exposed to people who think differently and I come from a culture or more accurately a generation ,where it was more talked about, I experienced it more, in this decade people have become more insular, and because I’m a Christian and essential part of that is that you give !away !and that isn’t just material goods !but as I am not super Christian not many people know about what I do, to make it glaringly obvious ,you have the label developmental disorder! except! that doesn’t mean every single part of you is developmentally disordered Autism (stemming from a Greek word self alone )just means in how you communicate, you could learn to feel it but you would have to teach yourself instead of it being natural.

 

[GrownupGirl]

I can feel empathy, I can't just feel love or happiness. Whenever I've shown love or happiness it was fake and nothing but a lie, and I finally told this to my mom yesterday. I'm worried about her now because of what I said because I care about her, but I still don't feel love or happiness. At least not towards other humans. It's only animals or non-living objects.

 

[Sora]

It's normal, although sometimes I feel like a psychopath.
I often wonder why people get upset when an old person dies.

Me too, but I do have feelings and feel empathy. It's just that they're directed only to people I like (or love)

 

[Streetwise]

Me too, but I do have feelings and feel empathy. It's just that they're directed only to people I like (or love)

I wonder if that part of the brain is at the stage of a very young infant which only responds to the primary caregiver as it cannot discern any more than that as it's eyesight and hearing isn't developed for any more than that

 

[Sora]

I can feel empathy, I can't just feel love or happiness. Whenever I've shown love or happiness it was fake and nothing but a lie, and I finally told this to my mom yesterday. I'm worried about her now because of what I said because I care about her, but I still don't feel love or happiness. At least not towards other humans. It's only animals or non-living objects.

I think it's easier to feel love for animals and other things because they're just as they act. Humans can always hide their true colors, say things they don't mean, while animals always stay true to themselves and can't actually lie

 

[Sora]

I wonder if that part of the brain is at the stage of a very young infant which only responds to the primary caregiver as it cannot discern any more than that as it's eyesight and hearing isn't developed for any more than that

That's a good comparison, actually. I'm always inside my own world which I opened only to people I'm comfortable with, so anyone outside this world doesn't really matter to me? Like, I remember that when I was in school I'd talk with my friends and even if there were a lot of people around I wouldn't really notice them at all because I could only see my friends

 

[leehart]

I find I'm very inconsistent with empathy. I am good at reading people so can tell ok if someone is upset and would engage. At other times it's absent thought such as when someone breaks my moral code of conduct I won't really empathize with them easily.

Stuff on TV absolutely absent really, I don't feel for them much unless I really try too, but yeah like you I do for the animals!!

Other times I can feel empathy for objects! Especially tech! I feel guilty when I hand my old phone away that it might feel sad! So empathy is inconsistent for me, sometimes there and strong, other times gone, sometimes rather unexpected!

 

[Suzanne]

Immunity I would call it and I feel the same way. I got a huge "telling off" once, because of the terriorist attack in France ( can't remember the town, but not Paris). Anyway, the first thought was: well, every one was told to stay inside at a set time; a curfew and yet that was ignored and they went out celebrating in huge numbers and I said to this person. In truth, I could not feel shocked, because they brought it on themselves and goodness me, I was called: cold hearted and lacking in fellow feeling etc etc.

Terrible things are happening every single day, so it is hard to feel anything more than a passing emotion.

 

[Trophonius]

I think most people care about thing they happen either to themselves or to people related to them. It may be a biological imperative for us have a higher interest in those closer related to us, like a innate selfish mechanism interested in protecting our genes' existence.

This thread reminded me of a story I read some years ago, from the book Evolution (4ed) by J. Futuyama:

This logic can be extended to more distant relatives. J. B. S. Haldane, one of the
founders of evolutionary genetics, was once asked if he would give his life to save
a drowning brother. He replied, “No, but I would to save two brothers or eight
cousins.” Haldane (who was a genius) had rapidly calculated the conditions under
which natural selection will favor saving drowning relatives.

In the book follows an explanation of this idea, called kin-selection. I copy and paste some fragments that I think are worth reading:

Many species provide care for their offspring, often at great effort and risk to their
own survival. Mammals and birds feed their young and in some species (including
our own) teach them how to survive. Grasshoppers invest energy in their eggs
and invest time by burying them for safety. Plants endow their embryos with
endosperm and surround them with husks, fleshy fruits, and structures that aid
dispersal. In short, parents are altruistic. They enhance the fitness of other individuals—
their offspring—at a cost to themselves.
Doesn’t this altruism violate the selfish principle of natural selection? “The
answer is obvious,” you reply. “Fitness is measured by successful reproduction, and
what would the mother’s fitness be if all her offspring died?” That is precisely the
solution. A gene can leave more copies of itself to the next generation if it increases
the odds that the individual’s children will survive.

(...)


The most common way that altruism between related individuals evolves
results from kin selection, a type of selection based on indirect fitness. An allele
that causes an individual to act altruistically decreases the fitness of the actor, but
that act increases the fitness of others. If they are related to the actor, then more
copies of the allele can be passed to the next generation, and the altruistic behavior
can spread through the population.

This logic is formalized in Hamilton’s rule. It states that an allele that causes an
altruistic behavior will spread if the following condition is met:
rB > C

The quantity r is the relatedness, also known as the coefficient of relationship.
B is the fitness benefit to the recipient, that is, the average increase in the number of offspring that the recipient will have as a result of the altruistic behavior.
From the allele’s point of view, the altruistic behavior increases its fitness through
the recipient just as if it caused the actor to have r B more children of its own.
The right-hand side of the inequality represents the effect of the behavior on the
direct fitness of the allele.
C is the fitness cost to the actor, that is, the decrease in the number of offspring that individual will have as the result of acting altruistically.

To make these ideas concrete, consider an autosomal locus in a female of a diploid species (See picture). If she carries a rare allele for an altruistic behavior, there is a probability of 1/2 that it came from her mother and an equal chance that it came from her father, so a female’s relatedness to each of her parents is r = 1/2. What about her relatedness to her siblings? No matter which parent the female inherited the allele from, there is a chance of 1/2 that a brother or a sister also inherited the allele, and so she is again related to them by r = 1/2. More distant relatives have lower relatedness. For example, the probability that a full cousin also carries the allele is r = 1/8.

It also makes sense to worry about things that happen in a community and could possibly extend to ourselves or our relatives. The further away we are from any of these events, the less we care.

 

[Sora]

Immunity I would call it and I feel the same way. I got a huge "telling off" once, because of the terriorist attack in France ( can't remember the town, but not Paris). Anyway, the first thought was: well, every one was told to stay inside at a set time; a curfew and yet that was ignored and they went out celebrating in huge numbers and I said to this person. In truth, I could not feel shocked, because they brought it on themselves and goodness me, I was called: cold hearted and lacking in fellow feeling etc etc.

Terrible things are happening every single day, so it is hard to feel anything more than a passing emotion.

There were a lot of situations I thought just like that so I totally get you

 

[Sora]

I think most people care about thing they happen either to themselves or to people related to them. It may be a biological imperative for us have a higher interest in those closer related to us, like a innate selfish mechanism interested in protecting our genes' existence.

This thread reminded me of a story I read some years ago, from the book Evolution (4ed) by J. Futuyama:



In the book follows an explanation of this idea, called kin-selection. I copy and paste some fragments that I think are worth reading:


It also makes sense to worry about things that happen in a community and could possibly extend to ourselves or our relatives. The further away we are from any of these events, the less we care.[/QUOTE
Wow, that was really interesting. Also, I really agree that the further away we're from those event the less we care. Because at least to me it doesn't feel actually real. The thought of a horrible thing happening to anyone close to me doesn't feel real, it's something I can't really imagine

 

[Aspychata]

We only have so much empathy, if we feel for everything then we will be exhausted. We reserve what depletes our empathy tank. Mine is animals suffering, and l was extremely disturbed when Krispy Kreme shop closed, l knew it was time to leave the backwards town.

 

[Streetwise]

We only have so much empathy, if we feel for everything then we will be exhausted. We reserve what depletes our empathy tank. Mine is animals suffering, and l was extremely disturbed when Crispy Creme shop closed, l knew it was time to leave the backwards town.

In another universe Krispy Kreme is opening in the UK

 

[tducey]

I get worried needlessly about people and things that aren't happening and won't happen. I guess it's an Autistic trait.

 

[Sora]

I get worried needlessly about people and things that aren't happening and won't happen. I guess it's an Autistic trait.

That happens when I'm alone, actually. Like I'm afraid to go out by myself and fear that I'll be robbed, raped or killed, or when I'm home alone I fear that someone will break in, etc

 

[Aspychata]

Omg, British Krispy Kreme, l can smell it all ready.