Do you dislike children?

[RemyZee]

This is embarrassing and sad, but i don't like being around children, and because I'm a woman I practically feel guilty about it: i just never had a maternal instinct, although I believe in children and ther energy. But I've never felt any compulsion to have children and in our society it's almost expected that to be fully human you have to create offspring. I do believe for me it goes back to autism and is partly a sensory thing: I'm jolted by the yells and smell and sticky skin. I wonder if I'm mean or abnormal for not being maternal, for not having that impulse that other women seem to have so strongly even to the point of going into deep depression when they can't get pregnant. It doesn't bother me at all that I don't have children. Is something wrong with me?

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

I can relate a tiny bit, but not much.

From the time I was very small, I've always wanted to be a wife and mother. With all my heart. Long dresses, children at my skirts, collecting eggs from the chickens, lots of big outdoor dogs and cats living under the house. Wide open spaces, lots of love.

When I hear a baby cry, my arms and breasts ache in sort of sympathy pains.

I do hate babysitting though. And I will only do it in emergency situations. I don't like watching children that are not my own. Especially from families where proper behavior was not modeled and taught from a young age. I don't tolerate it at all. It is overstimulating.

I remember when my daughter was small, moms in my apartment complex would come to my house and ask "Can you please watch ____, I have to run to the store/ have a date/ Dr appt/ etc". And I would nearly always deny them. Especially if their kid was really bratty and from a family that was loud and rude.

I was a single mom, and I took my child everywhere, I didn't see why they couldn't as well. It might be good for the tyke. Walking and talking and teaching.

One thing though, when I was in my early 20s, I worked as a photographer for children and families at a few of those mall shops. I learned to loathe toddlers. So screamy and bratty. Some would even break the props. But that was just a phase, because of my immaturity at the time, inexperience with young children, and my line of work. But still, I still craved to be married and have children of my own. I've always loved children, just not other people's crappily raised kids without manners.

So I totally get the overstimulating nature of kids, especially the ones that are raised wrong. But oh my gosh, I love children. I love babies. I love homeschooling and nurturing and quality time and picnics and going to museums with them and road trips and tidying and crafting and cooking and all things maternal.

But I have zero patience for bad kids. It's not their fault though. I often quote the Oompa Loompas about who to blame for children's behavior: "The mother and the father".

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I like kids had two would of had more, if we were financially able.

 

[Outdated]

Is something wrong with me?

It's probably more to do with the society you live in than anything being wrong with you.

I never married or had kids and through my life I've had a lot of girlfriends who also never married and never had kids and never wanted to. They were happy with their careers and didn't want anything in life that would upset that. Some of those women also never wanted what most people imagine to be a regular boyfriend/girlfriend experience either, they didn't want anyone interfering with their lives but were still human and did want a sex life. So I was in a few "trusted safe sex partner" relationships. This suited what I wanted in life too.

Some societies believe that our only purpose in life is to create more children even though the world is already so grossly overpopulated that countries are now being forced to close their doors to refugees in order to keep being able to feed their own people. Not having children is a much more socially responsible decision.

 

[Rodafina]

I think kids are great and love being around them. I have enjoyed working with children very much.

I also think kids are a real sensory challenge and it’s nice to give them back to their parents.

I’ve never once had the desire to have my own kid. Not even a whiff of yearning.

That all feels normal to me. It’s easy to feel some kind of pressure to have kids, but I don’t think an intrinsic desire to not procreate is all that weird.

 

[damoisellepeachy]

I wouldn’t say I dislike children, as I think children deserve to be loved and have good parents. But I don’t like to be around kids much because I can only handle kids for small amounts of time and I realized I like having free time to myself. I used to feel bad about not wanting to be a mother until I realized parenthood was a choice and that’s when I started feeling better about deciding to never have kids.

Of course, it still sucks that parenthood is seen as a “obligatory” thing that everyone should do regardless. Parenthood isn’t for everyone and people who choose to not be parents should be respected for their choice. Also I don’t think it’s weird to not have any maternal instincts.

 

[RemyZee]

It's probably more to do with the society you live in than anything being wrong with you.

I never married or had kids and through my life I've had a lot of girlfriends who also never married and never had kids and never wanted to. They were happy with their careers and didn't want anything in life that would upset that. Some of those women also never wanted what most people imagine to be a regular boyfriend/girlfriend experience either, they didn't want anyone interfering with their lives but were still human and did want a sex life. So I was in a few "trusted safe sex partner" relationships. This suited what I wanted in life too.

Some societies believe that our only purpose in life is to create more children even though the world is already so grossly overpopulated that countries are now being forced to close their doors to refugees in order to keep being able to feed their own people. Not having children is a much more socially responsible decision.

Yes I grew up in a very religious culture where the expected thing to do when seeing a female relative was to ask whether she'd met a man yet. If the woman was already married you'd ask when they were going to have a baby. And don't get me wrong, I think babies are wonderful but I think you're right that the impulse can be socially generated. There was a kind of prestige that went along with parenthood. Like people would take you more seriously if you had descendants. I did help bring up my niece and that was very meaningful. But it wasn't ever a calling.

 

[Metalhead]

I like being the cool and chill uncle, but I don't want to be a parent. Too much responsibility, I'm not up for that.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Kids are great with ketchup.

 

[AprilR]

Not disliking but i used to be awkward around them. Until i met my friend's daughter, we get along with her pretty well and have lots of funny and silly convos.

That does not change the fact that i don't want to have children through, especially since i can barely take care of myself

 

[Aspychata]

I don't dislike kids, but l hate their parents who shouldn't even have kids who expect me to tolerate their kid's horrible behavior because their children have never been taught manners or consequences for their actions. l feel sorry for children who are bullied by their parents when having a meltdown. Those parents who drag their kids on endless shopping trips, when those same kids should be outdoors playing, running, jumping, biking, going to the library, etc.

 

[velociraptor]

I like kids well enough. Enjoyed raising mine, she turned out okay and I'm proud of her. Won't complain if she produces grandkids, but I don't have the energy I used to so I'll give them back at the end of the day.