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Do you ever feel extremely awkward when talking to strangers?

ryan1205

ryan1205

Mr. I Don't Know
V.I.P Member
As of now, I feel that I don't have many opportunities to meet new people or people that I have in common with. I can talk to strangers fine, whether it be talking to the cashier or asking someone for help. I feel at most times, I make it awkward for me and the people I talk to.

Recently at a Orthodox Church I have been going to for the past 5 weeks, I feel that I made them fell awkward when I talk about the church or Christianity. I feel this way because I am not born into any religion and never had the opportunity to do so.

I find it hard to make new friends when I feel like I am in dire need of friends. I have two great friends that I hang out with from time to time, but either they live far away now or they have a job and they're busy.

In the past, during middle and high school, I would just wait for someone to talk to me. And usually things went on from there. I felt I had an advantage in school for having friends because of my twin brother.

Anyhow, I feel as I get older, I become more and more quiet and awkward. I know that I am "officially" in the real world and I need to start doing things on my own.

Also, do you guys find it hard to find new friends or easy? And what would be someways to meet new people?
 
Yes- for many years. My social anxiety would cause me to break out into a cold sweat when it happened. Made me miserable. But then I've never had a penchant for reaching out to strangers, period.

Eventually I sought medication for it and took it for a number of years before deciding the side effects weren't worth the trouble. In the meantime the symptoms of social anxiety waned somewhat, and I simply learned to deal with it the best I could.

I still consider going out of my way to meet people a form of pushing myself. Though if it doesn't clearly benefit me, I lose interest in even bothering. And more or less live in a state of self-imposed isolation. Not too difficult when you are self-employed and have no one living with you.
 
Yes... and i hate/ dont know how to make small talk. When I HAVE TO socialize. I have developped a very effective strategy, though it is based on the fact that people are inherently egocentric and really only want to talk about themselves anyway, when it comes down to it.

If i dont know what to say to someone , i just think of quiestions i can ask them about themselves. This works 210% of the time, and takes all the pressure off of me to be good at socializing. Seriously, give it a try. Everyone is just dying to talk about their beliefs and opinions, and they wont even notice how awkward you are. They will like you for taking and interest in them. It is not as manipulative as it sounds, as i do enjoy hearing peoples opinions and thoughts, and it takes the pressure off of me to be good at organically socializing.

Best-
 
xudo said:
Me neither. I also don't see the point, especially with some random stranger I will never see again. I have never felt comfortable talking to a stranger.
Click to expand...

Unless it's something worth engaging a conversation over, when that scenario should raise its ugly head I visually acknowledge them with a nod and say NOTHING. Which after a few seconds seems to put them ill at ease...and I'm off the hook. :cool:
 
i HATE interacting to any degree with so called 'normal' people,as i feel they are negatively judgeing me on my outward behaviors and noises.
but with anyone who are considered vulnerable for whatever reason [disabled, elderly, mental health, homeless etc] i am good at just being there and interacting to an extent, sometimes that includes verbalising a conversation;other times its just being with them.
 
Judge said:
Unless it's something worth engaging a conversation over, when that scenario should raise its ugly head I visually acknowledge them with a nod and say NOTHING. Which after a few seconds seems to put them ill at ease...and I'm off the hook. :cool:
Click to expand...

I do that too, or just hope nobody will talk to me in the first place by always having my headphones in. You do still get the occasional person for whom headphones do not equate to 'I can't hear you' though :rolleyes:
 
Always

I can't stand it when people try to talk to me at the gym or the store or the park for no reason... I'm just like, "um? Okay?" I have no idea what is going on and now I'm distracted and stressed...
 
ryan1205 said:
As of now, I feel that I don't have many opportunities to meet new people or people that I have in common with. I can talk to strangers fine, whether it be talking to the cashier or asking someone for help. I feel at most times, I make it awkward for me and the people I talk to.

Recently at a Orthodox Church I have been going to for the past 5 weeks, I feel that I made them fell awkward when I talk about the church or Christianity. I feel this way because I am not born into any religion and never had the opportunity to do so.

I find it hard to make new friends when I feel like I am in dire need of friends. I have two great friends that I hang out with from time to time, but either they live far away now or they have a job and they're busy.

In the past, during middle and high school, I would just wait for someone to talk to me. And usually things went on from there. I felt I had an advantage in school for having friends because of my twin brother.

Anyhow, I feel as I get older, I become more and more quiet and awkward. I know that I am "officially" in the real world and I need to start doing things on my own.

Also, do you guys find it hard to find new friends or easy? And what would be someways to meet new people?
Click to expand...

Interesting-looking new book: Awkward: The Science of Why We're Socially Awkward and Why That's Awesome: Ty Tashiro: 9780062429155: Amazon.com: Books
 
I'm 35 and struggled to make and keep friends my whole life.
I seem to wait until someone picks me. I have no idea what qualities a person needs to have for me to pick them first. Even if I did, I wouldn't know how to go about it anyway. I bounce and riff off others it seems.
It was a bit easier in school cos you can kind of 'associate' with people and in a captive place it is a bit easier to make at least one friend on some level. I think that is largely due to forced familiarity with the people around you so you get used to them and can predict their behaviour. I don't know what happened after school to the people I knew when I was there. Alien abduction?

After I graduated, I found it virtually impossible to make new friends.
People can be manipulative, liars, have ulterior motives, uncaring, unsympathetic, lack empathy, etc. etc. etc. It was hit and miss and resulted in a lot of heartache.

Not helpful, I know...sorry.
 
Yes i dont even like talking to the people i do know.. Let alone people i dont know. Conversation is uncomfortable most of the time
 
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