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Do you go out to parties or clubbing?

lovely_darlingprettybaby

lovely_darlingprettybaby

Well-Known Member
I am really autistic but I want to go..
But the only thing I do not like about clubbing is sometimes just house music and the music is too loud for an autistic
And often too much drinking, sex and drugs and I am not into that.
I really do not mind drinking mocktails and I dream of dancing on chairs and with my friends in sequins and cute outfits.
But I have been really unwell and am really autistic and have never been.
Have you ever been and do you like it and what do you enjoy?
 
lovely_darlingprettybaby said:
I am really autistic but I want to go..
But the only thing I do not like about clubbing is sometimes just house music and the music is too loud for an autistic
And often too much drinking, sex and drugs and I am not into that.
I really do not mind drinking mocktails and I dream of dancing on chairs and with my friends in sequins and cute outfits.
But I have been really unwell and am really autistic and have never been.
Have you ever been and do you like it and what do you enjoy?
Click to expand...
I used to go out a LOT. Never liked the mainstream clubs, preferred live events and dingy hard rock places.

I don't see why someone on the spectrum shouldn't go to a club. That said, if you anticipate having some challenges, plan appropriately to ensure it goes smoothly. If you have someone you trust who can help you out, why not mention it to them to see if they have thoughts and ideas on what might be a good plan. I think avoiding alcohol would be a good idea and also looking for a themed evening you might like And don't dance on the chairs, they'll get narky.... also, look after your drinks, don't leave them hanging around.
 
lovely_darlingprettybaby said:
Have you ever been and do you like it and what do you enjoy?
Click to expand...
I enjoy smaller parties, e.g. some house parties or going out to a restaurant, but not always. I enjoyed some parties eariler at university and at school. It can be fun, I liked some concerts as well and going to the theatre. But cinema is too loud for me and I've been to a club once, I think, and didn't enjoy it, it was overall unpleasant for me. I once went to a concert on a stadium as well, and enjoyed it, but don't want to go again to such a concert.

MNAus said:
I don't see why someone on the spectrum shouldn't go to a club.
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Maybe it's not a question of "should", I personally have meltdowns and vomit or get panic attacks when it's too loud, it happens at parties too. It doesn't make sense for me to go to so loud places. But you know, I tried and didn't like it, everyone is different and it's not like everyone will react the same.

Forest Cat said:
It was just stressing, don't really have good memories from it. Too much of everything.
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I often feel like that at parties too.
 
I sometimes beat myself up for not going clubbing because I don't feel normal, but the older I get the less my peers are interested in clubbing so I don't feel so left out. But I am teetotal and I'm not into dancing and I find most people in clubs intimidating especially if they're drunk. So I don't see the point in me going clubbing. It'll be like paying for a ticket to go to a football match when you have 0 interest in football or don't support the teams. It's pointless and a waste of money if you know it's not your thing and going to make you anxious.
 
lovely_darlingprettybaby said:
I am really autistic but I want to go..
But the only thing I do not like about clubbing is sometimes just house music and the music is too loud for an autistic
And often too much drinking, sex and drugs and I am not into that.
I really do not mind drinking mocktails and I dream of dancing on chairs and with my friends in sequins and cute outfits.
But I have been really unwell and am really autistic and have never been.
Have you ever been and do you like it and what do you enjoy?
Click to expand...
It sounds like, perhaps, you don’t really want to go clubbing, but rather someplace you can have nonalcoholic drinks, dress in a fun and fancy way, and dance to music that you like. (Dancing on chair sounds dangerous, by the way… Be careful!)

Maybe there is some allure to going to clubs for you that I missed in your post, but I wonder if there are good alternatives that would meet the things that you want without all the things you don’t want.

I was dragged to clubs in my 20s with my sister because in her thinking, of course, everyone would love this. They hold absolutely no interest for me, so I have not gone back to a club in 20 years.

Parties, I don’t really know about. It just seems that a party can be anything… There are so many different types of parties. They are simply not for me in any way, but there are certainly plenty of people here who will enjoy different types of parties. I think it’s more about just finding the right scene than feeling any obligation to engage in any specific social events.
 
I went to birthday parties when I was a child but those were less intimidating than nightclubs because nobody's getting drunk and there's usually fun activities and usually you know everyone or most people there, like your classmates.
I loved socialising when I was a child, but as I got older it got more daunting. I think other people drinking alcohol makes me anxious.
 
Misty Avich said:
I sometimes beat myself up for not going clubbing because I don't feel normal
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I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself for feeling this way. There are all sorts of people who are uninterested in clubs for myriad reasons. Even when it feels like everyone around you is a club kid, that is just a microcosm of the world. It is very “normal” to not enjoy the club scene.
 
I understand. But I think it's because everyone in my family has been clubbing at some point in their lives, like they all lived through the typical "fun days" of being between age 17 and 23.
All of my (first) cousins have been clubbing, I know that. Even one of my cousins who seems Aspie often went clubbing with some friends when he was about 19.
My grandparents went clubbing when they were young, doing the typical "got so drunk I had to crawl home" stunt that most teenagers get/got up to.
My mum suffered with depression, anxiety and shyness but even she managed to go clubbing when she was young. My shy PPD-NOS brother went clubbing too when he was younger.
When I was age 17-23 I spent my weekends sitting alone in my room and I felt ashamed.
 
I used to a lot in my younger days and in college.

Nowadays, I am realizing that I went for the free alcohol and not really to socialize at all.

I don't go out anymore because I don't drink anymore, and I don't like social situations that much.
 
Misty Avich said:
When I was age 17-23 I spent my weekends sitting alone in my room and I felt ashamed.
Click to expand...
I understand this, too.

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Rodafina said:
It sounds like, perhaps, you don’t really want to go clubbing, but rather someplace you can have nonalcoholic drinks, dress in a fun and fancy way, and dance to music that you like. (Dancing on chair sounds dangerous, by the way… Be careful!)

Maybe there is some allure to going to clubs for you that I missed in your post, but I wonder if there are good alternatives that would meet the things that you want without all the things you don’t want.

I was dragged to clubs in my 20s with my sister because in her thinking, of course, everyone would love this. They hold absolutely no interest for me, so I have not gone back to a club in 20 years.

Parties, I don’t really know about. It just seems that a party can be anything… There are so many different types of parties. They are simply not for me in any way, but there are certainly plenty of people here who will enjoy different types of parties. I think it’s more about just finding the right scene than feeling any obligation to engage in any specific social events.
Click to expand...
Rodafina said:
It sounds like, perhaps, you don’t really want to go clubbing, but rather someplace you can have nonalcoholic drinks, dress in a fun and fancy way, and dance to music that you like. (Dancing on chair sounds dangerous, by the way… Be careful!)

Maybe there is some allure to going to clubs for you that I missed in your post, but I wonder if there are good alternatives that would meet the things that you want without all the things you don’t want.

I was dragged to clubs in my 20s with my sister because in her thinking, of course, everyone would love this. They hold absolutely no interest for me, so I have not gone back to a club in 20 years.

Parties, I don’t really know about. It just seems that a party can be anything… There are so many different types of parties. They are simply not for me in any way, but there are certainly plenty of people here who will enjoy different types of parties. I think it’s more about just finding the right scene than feeling any obligation to engage in any specific social events.
Click to expand...
I personally think clubs would be too loud for me but I have always liked loud music and dancing in my room and occasionally I see an event like a one direction pub night that looks interesting.
I have often listen to my music full volume in my room and have in the past, loud pop music but I have never been and am fairly autistic. But I love having a party in my house
 
Rodafina said:
I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself for feeling this way. There are all sorts of people who are uninterested in clubs for myriad reasons. Even when it feels like everyone around you is a club kid, that is just a microcosm of the world. It is very “normal” to not enjoy the club scene.
Click to expand...
I think it is hard for autistics to always enjoy the club scene because of the super loud music, noise and because it is very seedy.
And it is OK to not enjoy it because some people are just more introverted, I am introverted too a lot but I love loud music and dancing in my house.
 
I enjoy parties and cookouts with friends. Even though I am not religious I've celebrated Seder with them. I have enjoyed folk clubs like the Earl of Old Town in Chicago or Jazz clubs like Chicago's Green Mill or NOLA's Palm Court with their great acoustics.

As a young adult I never liked clubs especially where people were mingling and trying to connect. I never could understand what was going on and besides saw them as another chance to meet rejection.
 
Not really. As an adult, most of my socializing was confined to a very small circle of friends from work. Which usually didn't go beyond one bar that we all enjoyed.
 
Loud and boring. I went once as a teenager with a couple of girls from school. They sat and chatted to each other, and I just sat there doing nothing. don't like the 'music', it's too loud, I don't dance. If I wanted to talk to them, I wouldn't have been able to with the deafening 'music.' And I hate disco/stobe lights.

I somtimes went to a bar with rock music. It had a prog rock evening and I was invited to DJ a couple of times. I still didn't talk much there either, but at least I liked the music. I rather enjoyed DJing.
 
I used to go out clubbing and go to raves and music festivals a lot. These days I don’t do that anymore, I’ve been dealing with a burnout for over a year and I can’t deal with too many stimuli.
 
There is a common theme of loudness . . . and I remember the disco days, though I've been in a club only once. I like TMBGs they have sensibilities that we ND can understand

 
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Mostly, I stayed home for parties that roommates organized. I've never been to an active nightclub, but got to know one owner and visit off-hours.
 
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