• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Do You Hate People Asking Questions?

SimplyWandering

SimplyWandering

Well-Known Member
I wonder if i am the only one who deals with this...

I am on the Autism Spectrum.

I have numerous people in my life that ask questions (some i find stupid) over and over constantly, like a question for everything , do you want this, do you want that.

I understand that people who deal with anxiety and arent sure of themselves ask questions over and over.

My mom will call me , ask a question or for something and call me 5 more times over the course of an hour each time she forgot something.

I am on medication for anxiety and irritability, which sometimes helps, but when i have had enough Ill raise my voice or walk away from the situation.

Ijust found myself in that situation with my boyfriend who is constantly saying "thank you" for each and everything nice i do, in addition to him asking me "would you like this , this and this." I know he is being nice, but does he really have to ask me would i like water, how about orange juice, how about soda... Every single day Gosssshhh! Just bring those things to the table! (Ive told him this before)

Maybe I am just overreacting....
 
Hmm, my life is similar. Noticed when I first met my partner, there were continually LOTS of questions. They were constant and never ending. Then I realized that his family asked endless questions as well so it was usual for them. In fact they would call us, and ask questions under the guise of a conversation.

I don't like being questioned about trivial things, it forces me to speak when I'm not ready or don't want to. And after awhile, I began to feel as if I was being interrogated by the police force. My partner's pet name for his family was the stasi. And he had some of those habits himself, which over time he has lost.

It's the idea itself, that you are forced to respond immediately that I don't like. When someone asks you a question, it's an immediate demand, "answer me!" And in my partner's families case, it was a form of constant control of the children when they were growing up.

After many innocuous questions such as; "What did you eat for lunch? What are you doing right now? Who have you spoken to? Have you heard from so and so? I stopped answering and immediately gave the phone to my partner, who had to answer the questions.
 
Last edited:
This sounds tough. Yes, I don't enjoy questions, they are annoying and often intrusive. I never answer my phone. But it must be an NT thing, they generally don't mean anything by it, they're doing their best.
 
Agree with you here. If you are slightly in irritated mode- questions just continue to float that boat. I now kind of smile and realise this is pushing me and l just need to laugh it off. A need to know info is so all important to everyone on the planet. It can feel intrusive and we also have less control of our info these days. I was at one website and their data bank already had up-to-date info on me that nobody else had. So just take a deep breath and realise this is here to stay.
 
Last edited:
When I was in my twenties, I was talking to my sister and she kept asking me questions about what was going on in my life. It dawned on me that asking questions was a way people showed interest in others. Used to get on my nerves and people often would get upset with me because I wouldn't have an answer for them - but it'd be stupid questions like who's your favorite movie star. A friend actually was furious at me when I told her I didn't have one.
And, of course, some people learned not to ask me questions because I WILL answer and they may not like the answer. :)
 
I often get annoyed just by someone speaking to me, or even just by someone's presence, so I definitely ain't judging you! And I'm on medication for irritability, among other things, as well! I just want to be alone 95% of the time. Is that too much to ask? :eek:
 
Your boyfriend sounds like Prince Charming. I'd be grateful to have someone like that. My husband ditched us when I was diagnosed with cancer. Try having a Husband/Dad like that. I would love to have such a sweet, kind, thoughtful mate. Instead of it getting to you, just say to yourself how very, very lucky you are.
 
It's ok when people ask me my opinion about an event that's happening in current affairs, for example, about the coronavirus situation in my country, but I don't like them asking me questions about myself, small-talk questions, or about the weather for example. Questions they ask just for the same of asking questions, because they feel uncomfortable with silence and feel that they have to be making conversation and therefore have to ask the questions to keep the conversation going. Or just asking questions to be polite because that's what they are socially conditioned to do - it's pointless. I prefer the silence.
 
You are not alone!
I blocked my own mother for 6 months last year because I can't take her attitude about communication. If I don't respond to her texts/emails/phone calls same day she starts trying to contact me even more, eventually starting to get snotty about it. Yet if she doesn't respond to MY communications, she has all kinds of excuses and says that I shouldn't get mad at her. Too many of her texts are "What are you doing today" (just small talk) and I don't see why I need to engage in that. I've noticed my youngest brother is very similar to her but then they have a horrible co-dependant relationship.
I also don't like to talk to people at work until I've finished my coffee, but I don't have a choice. Literally everyone else comes in for the morning meeting chatting, laughing, smiling and I force my game face on until the meeting is over when I can get back to being in my own zone. I'm not sociable until half way through the mornings.

It's possible that your mother has actually caused your anxiety over the course of your life and that without her you may not need meds. I believe I NEED meds (but can't find one) because of the life she made for me and my brothers and we're all still suffering for it.
 
I used to get demanded by the house manager in the corridor "how was I"? Well couldn't she see with her own eyes I was on my feet! I like to give a low key wave or nod. I never make demands of anyone else.
 
No. No one wants my opinion (or anything for me, for that matter). The only questions are people trying to figure me out because I come across as bizarre.
 
I don't know if it's an autism thing or not as I was recently diagnosed and still learning how to deal, but when I get asked questions I get rather irritable. Depending on the question though. Like I often feel like most questions I'm asked are rather silly and could be answered by the inquirer if they took just one more second to think.

My next question is what to do about social isolation?

I don't have any friends my age or anybody around that has similar hobbies to me that I can relate to. I quit reaching out because of what happens when I do. A few years ago I deleted my facebook because nobody would ever speak to me even If i spoke to them, and ever since it's like nobody talks to me anymore period. My "friends" stopped hanging out with me and i don't have friends online (I game a lot on ps4) nobody will speak to me there either. I'm constantly ignored and I don't know what to do anymore. I recently made a youtube gaming channel in an attempt to reach out to other gamers and make friends but I'm being ignored there also. Somebody commented on one of my videos asking if I wanted to be friends, I got pretty excited and said of course and then they never said anything after. I don't know what to do anymore.
 
I don't like people asking about me especially the Autism or the IQ level that is where my wife comes in I stay at home most of the time so the covid 19 dose not bother me she is a great supporter.
 
Tyrone said:
I don't know if it's an autism thing or not as I was recently diagnosed and still learning how to deal, but when I get asked questions I get rather irritable. Depending on the question though. Like I often feel like most questions I'm asked are rather silly and could be answered by the inquirer if they took just one more second to think.

My next question is what to do about social isolation?

I don't have any friends my age or anybody around that has similar hobbies to me that I can relate to. I quit reaching out because of what happens when I do. A few years ago I deleted my facebook because nobody would ever speak to me even If i spoke to them, and ever since it's like nobody talks to me anymore period. My "friends" stopped hanging out with me and i don't have friends online (I game a lot on ps4) nobody will speak to me there either. I'm constantly ignored and I don't know what to do anymore. I recently made a youtube gaming channel in an attempt to reach out to other gamers and make friends but I'm being ignored there also. Somebody commented on one of my videos asking if I wanted to be friends, I got pretty excited and said of course and then they never said anything after. I don't know what to do anymore.
Click to expand...


Im sure a lot of us on the spectrum can relate, atleast i can. My mom (who is also on the spectrum) tells me it gets easier with age, however I haven't felt this.

my therapist told me the only way to make friends and acquaintances is to try and get through the uncomfortable, irritableness, that is the only way. Try it in small strides. Reach out to people on the spectrum, who may also struggle similarly.

As for isolation, you just have to keep yourself busy. Also try to understand that people not on the spectrum can also be different/weird, and may simply not respond. If you get annoyed when others don't reply , try to take a breather and tell yourself it's not your fault.
 
Last edited:
Dislike personal questions. I feel prodded like with a stick. None of your beeswax. If we arent friends, then you don't need to know. It gets down to all my personal info is out there somewhere anyways. So pay the credit,medical bureau, The National Enquirer if you need my info.
 
Getting asked questions doesn't usually bother me, but when my ma does it, it drives me up the wall. She does the "twenty questions" thing to me, and it feels more like an interrogation than anything else.
 
I draw a blank when asked questions. It's very frustrating for me and downright annoying for others.

For instance, every time I go to the Dr's, she asked me if there's any other symptoms I'd like to report. The thing I have been wanting to tell her all week disappears from my mind, and I just sit there quietly and smile and shake my head "no". But as soon as I get home, my ability to self advocate comes back, and I have to call and report the extra stuff.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom