Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your ASD?

[kasmanaft08]

Do any of you have any siblings? Or are you an only child?

After observing young children, I was wondering if having siblings made a difference to you socially, in regards to your Aspergers/autism in any way?

One of a pair of twins I watch may be tested for Aspergers or high functioning autism, but it's difficult to tell. I was told that it could be subtle because he grew up as a twin, that some of the social skills came with that. Since I grew up as an only child, I had difficulty refuting or agreeing with that.

Whether or not it makes a difference for autism, I don't know. I would suggest it couldn't, at least substantially. But it's interesting, because a lot of developmental psychology can hinge on things like the structure of a family [depending on your opinions about things like birth order, nature vs nurture etc]. But as I said, it's hard for me to answer.

What do you guys think?

 

[epath13]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I'm the only child. I wanted to have brothers and sisters so did my mom (to have more kids) before I was born. But I had ...let's say physical disability, had to spend a lot of time in a hospital. My mom was afraid another kid was going to have the same issue, or maybe she thought I needed all the attention and decided not to have kids anymore. When I was about 3-4 I took a fishing pole, put some candy on it and tried to catch a brother or sister for myself from my apartment building balcony I though when some kid took the candy I would pull him/ her out anyway... I might have had better social skills if I had siblings, but it might have not had any impact... It seemed to me that kids with siblings were generally more communicative.

 

[IContainMultitudes]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I have a sister who's about six years younger than me who's pretty much 100% NT. No idea how much that's affected me as far as social skills/etc, but I kind of suspect I'd be even more socially inept and isolated if I had been an only child (even though my sister and I have always kind of from different "planets"), which is slightly scary for me to think about.

I think it's kind of interesting that I'm the one who ended up having AS characteristics since I think the younger children usually tend to be the one to get them. A neurologist I was seeing once told me that it was possible that whatever it was that was a little "off" about me may have something to do with an illness I had a few days after being born, but I'm not certain that he really knew what he was talking about (the possibilty of me having AS was never raised, and I didn't manage to get that diagnosis until years later). The neurologist wanted me get an MRI of my brain (not sure how I managed to do that considering how claustrophobic it is to be in one of those machines) just to rule out the possibility that there was anything structurally wrong with it, but it didn't turn up anything unusual. Of course, according to some of what I've read on the subject, the brain differences in people with AS can sometimes be a little too subtle to detect that way; I wonder if I'll ever get a chance to someday have another brain scan that can detect those differences if/when the technology is there. I doubt that that would really change much of anything for me at this point, but I would still be very interested in finding out exactly what it is that's "atypical" about my brain if I had an opportunity to do so (I can recall that when I first started to suspect that I had AS about two years ago and I had an opportunity to see a speech therapist who was knowledgeable about AS but I was a little reluctant to do so, my mom told me "Well, it might be interesting for you if nothing else").

I don't have any close family members who are diagnosed aspies (there are one or two who seem slightly aspergian to me, but they've manged to live fairly "normal" lives anyway), so I have no idea how much heredity has to do with me having AS (but I have a feeling that that's probably at least part of it). This has been on my mind a little bit lately since my sister and her husband (who's also pretty much 100% NT and has no aspie family members that I know of) had a baby about three months ago, and I can't help but wonder if he'll end up having any AS characteristics (of course, if he does, it'll probably be years before we'll really be able to tell; I don't think my parents had much of a sense that there was anything "different" about me until I was about 9 or 10).

 

[butterfly2]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

Yes im an only child and not having any brothers or sisters hasnt helped me with gaining any social skills. Have always wanted brothers and sisters and still do at 43 as have not been able to bond with other people or lead a normal life.

 

[Occasional_Demon]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I'm another only child. To be honest, I'm not sure whether it would have mattered too much in the long run whether or not I had a siblings, or siblings. I have a tendency to do things on my own [in general, although there are times when I like being with others] so I think even if I had a sibling, we might've operated in parallel most of the time.

 

[Geordie]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I am the third of three children - though I have a few 'brothers' and 'sisters' (family friends' children, as we are close to each other) in China and Philippines.

Doesn't matter to me that I am the youngest of the family - except that I am doted on, and I don't have much expectations to replicate their success.

 

[Arashi222]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I have one younger sister who is NT. I think it helped me with social skills. I mean she let me tag a long on things. I guess I wouldn't be me without my sister I mean it was a constant companion when I didn't have anyone else even if I preferred to be alone. I think to some degree we learn from our environment. I was never made to feel odd in my family they always (the exception being my father) made me feel loved and wanted even if I did have AS. AS wasn't a diagnosis when I was kid so I just had a learning disability and that was it. Having my sister around (who I am close to) I think helped to insulate me from some of the social loneliness that I feel more of now that she is on her own and I am still at home.

 

[buckyboy14]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I'm an only child, but I'm not sure if having a sibling would help or hurt me. On the one hand, I like to be alone, so having another person around all the time could trigger much more frequent meltdowns; however, it could also make me much more used to having others around me all the time, and actually make me better at handling them.

 

[King_Oni]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I don't know how it would've affected me if I had a brother or sister. But looking at how I am now... chances are that if I were to be put together with someone else for extended periods of time, I can easily imagine me knocking that sibling out time after time again... or worse.

At the moment I live with my parents, but I can't deal being around them (as in; the same room) for over 30 minutes. Before I need both my own space to retreat as well as cool down to avert frustration and agression towards them. Managing with them for longer/more can be done, but that's a really thin line they should handle with care and not cross otherwise the proverbial **** hits the fan.

My girlfriend is somewhat of an exception I guess... but I don't see her daily. I don't know if it would even work if we'd share a house together. Besides; it's also a reason why I don't ask her to sleep over a lot... I think I just got to get used a bit more to it...

Sooooo... the entire concept of being around other people kinda got lost somewhere. I know I'm more comfy if I can pick with whom I'm together for a while, so that's a big help, to not have my eyes set to kill. If I had siblings I might have even been more social and acceptable for people coming in my space. So perhaps it might be a good change... if it would've happened when I grew up.

 

[Bay]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I am the oldest of three. I believe that my brother may have AS, but my sister seems to be clearly NT.

 

[FishyEnthusiest]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I have an older sister who never understood me. I annoyed her so badly but I never meant to, I just wanted to fit in with her. Now that we are grown she has a pretty serious alcohol problem and I find her annoying where as she would like to rely on me for money and things. It is not often that she gets money from me because I never have any to give away.

I don't think she affected my Aspergers too much. Everyone thought I was just weird, but no one wanted to help. I just continued to fixation on my obsessions.

 

[Kelly]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I have a brother who is 3 years older then me and a number of cousins ranging in age. I'm not sure how it would have affected me if I was an only child / didn't have many cousins...well other then not being constantly picked on / hit by my brother that is.

Growing up we always had relatives sleeping over sometimes they'd all sleepover(we had a pretty big house when I was little). So you can understand the order lets say for example at age 8 my cousins were 4, 7, 11, 14 and my brother was 11, my brother would hang out with the 2 older boys(11 and 14) and my female cousin who was 7 and my youngest cousin who was 4 would all hang out. I used to stay at there houses now and again as well, we'd all go on holiday together, day trips during the summer etc. I think I'm very lucky really because without them I would have had an extremely miserable childhood because of my lack of friends.

My daughter is the opposite, she's an only child (but we've been trying for over 2 years for another) and only has 1 cousin who lives 3 hours away but she has lots of friends. We sometimes take a friend or two on day trips but mostly it's just us and I feel bad because it would have been so great for her to have a little brother or sister to play with.

 

[NeverEnder]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I have a younger Sister, but we are not very close.

 

[Soup]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I have a brother who is 7 yrs or so older & another who is 6 yrs younger. As for how it affected me, it didn't really do so. One was too old to bother with me much & the other was too young for me to bother with much. Neither of them had anything I wanted & nothing of mine interested them. My younger brother knew everyone under existence. How it was possible to have that many friends & that kind of a social life & not go barking mad was (& remains) beyond my ability to comprehend. Heck: just physically recognizing all those people seems impossible. My brothers never had anything to hold each other's interest due again to the age difference. For me, it was a lot like being an only child. I'd retreat to my room, barricade the door & vanish into my art work. I have many cousins-I wouldn't recognize 90% of them & I can't recall much about them- but they exist. I wish all those people well but I'd never deliberately contact them.

 

[Sparticus]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

Ok trying not to cry...this is the 2nd sibling thread I'm answering. Yes I had 2 older brothers & it made it EASIER socially on me.
Hundreds of kids knew me from my brothers...plus I was good in sports & kinda I guess, hid under the Aspie radar.
My father was a genius & could be very creative + as a child he hid for one year under the kitchen table so as not to go to kindergarten.
Hmm he might have had Aspie tendencies.

Both my brothers were NT's except the brother closest to my age was more sensitive, flexible and understanding of me [ok not all the time.]
My mothers brother, I believe, had autism. My mom was not very emotional & I learned after she died that she loved me more than my other brothers. Well they gave up on her, not me.

 

[oscar2012]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I have 5 brothers and 7 sisters but there just some one i no [ NO SUPPORT WHAT SO EVER THERE LOSS ]

 

[Mellotron]

Re: Do you have any siblings or are you an only child / How has this affected your AS

I have 2 younger sisters. I don't think it made much of a difference in terms of if they affected my AS though I didn't realize I had it when I was younger and around them more. The youngest one is way younger than me and so my parents put some of their parental duties on me to take care of her. Its one of the reasons I don't want kids, I kind of went through some psuedo-parenting in late teens/early 20's and didn't like it.