Do you obsess over wondering when your loved ones might pass on?

[SimplyWandering]

I know this is a weird title, but I always used to go in to my parent's bedrooms and check to see if they were breathing. As I got older in my teens I checked more frequently always a sigh of relief when i I knew they were not dead.

When i was in the first year of college my father (who was going through cancer at the time through radiation treatment) was given an overdose of chemotherapy and we were all told he had only weeks to live, it was a surreal time, but at least I was there for the end.

Since then i have moved out of my parents home, gotten a successful job and am in a relationship, but constantly nagging at oddest times, is my wondering if she is still breathing every night. I wonder what will i do when my mom passes, as she has been a wonderful advocate in my life and seemingly is the only one remaining who may understand me. She is in her 70s now.

Her Mother, passed at 96 last year, another person who truly believed in me, but she had dementia and was mute.

I find myself just happening to think about this at the weirdest times.

I know some of you might not have anyone to rely on, but for me she is important.

 

[Aspychata]

Yes. The health threat currently had me worried about my fav people and family members. Worried about myself also. But try not to reflect on it too much because my worries aren't going to keep people alive in the end.

 

[Fino]

I do often think about my parents dying, partly because they're old enough that it wouldn't be odd and partly because I'm not financially independent yet.

 

[unperson]

I'm more focused on guessing my own life span, have to plan financially for X amount of years.

 

[Aspychata]

Worried about my mother. I don't want to know. It seems we finally get to spend a little time healing from a lot of past emotional wounds. Hope she doesn't leave for along time.

 

[unperson]

Mine are gone, nothing to worry over

 

[SusanLR]

Always dreaded the time I would lose my parents.
They were the only people I felt I could be myself around and feel trust with unconditional love from.
I could never bond to others very deeply.
They are deceased now and I go through life feeling like I am in a bubble.
I can see and talk to people in the world, but, none will be a part of me or enter the bubble.
It's lonely in the bubble.

 

[WoodWorkingJoel]

Im going to sound horrible but I'm so distant from my family it's not something I worry about. Having to be around them is worse than masking at work.
I hate to admit it but it a small way it will be a relief when it comes.

 

[AprilR]

Yes, it scares me greatly and because of this i am constantly trying to be good to my parents.

 

[Aspychata]

Parents. Some of us never knew what that meant.

 

[AprilR]

Parents. Some of us never knew what that meant.

I am sorry to hear that. I know that having a blood relative definitely doesn't mean they're family.

 

[Aspychata]

I am sorry to hear that. I know that having a blood relative definitely doesn't mean they're family.

I have been closer to rocks then my family. Lol

 

[Pistachio]

You probably can't do anything about it, if they stop breathing, maybe even CPR wouldn't help. You live while you live, worrying about dying won't do anything but cause stress and might even make it happen.

I doubt anyone would agree with me but here's my opinion, approach a dying person in the other way: let him/her go, and say Congratulations! you passed your test. I get it that you might miss a friend or family that died but they've existed in this world long enough. Let them go. If there is an afterlife for them, you'd be making it easier for them to not cling to them.

 

[Gracey]

Obsess ? No. Not really.

Look for signs the person is alive? Yes.
I've done that in my time.

I believed it to be part of my OCD (catastrophising)
Rationally, there was no valid reason the person, or people should die.
Young, fit, healthy & thriving.

Didn't stop me from unobtrusively checking for signs of life though.

 

[QueenOfFrance87]

I can relate. My mom had a stroke two years ago (and before that had appendicitis), and my stepdad has diabetes, COPD, and hip surgery. Both are trying to quit smoking, and are about 60. I do have concerns about their health since, even though my mom said she will live a long time. If one of them dies, I may have to look into a group home, because I want to try to be independent and have a place of my own, even if it means being financially responsible from now on.

I have, however, got over my ex. He barely eats anything (usually cookies), sleeps odd hours, and rarely showers. In the past, I would often worry about him because of his bipolar disorder and strange habits, but now that I am divorced, I feel like the weight is off my shoulders.