Do you prefer introverts or extroverts?

[InfinityRose]

This is a random question I've been asking myself lately. Being a solid introvert myself, my answer a few years ago would automatically have been that introverts, and quiet people in general, are generally more pleasant to be around. However, after gaining some more life experience and analyzing the people I tend to gel with versus the people I don't, I have come to the conclusion that this is not always the case. For me, it is the extremes on both sides that I tend to dislike or at least not care for, rather than just extroverts or introverts as a whole.

For example, I've noticed that when it comes to having a conversation with extreme introverts, it is hard to get anywhere because we will barely talk to each other and end up awkwardly ignoring each other. I'm always hesitant to speak up because I'm afraid I'll just be annoying them.

On the other hand, extreme extroverts will talk over me and then forget me in two seconds when they find someone else they like better. Also they can be really loud and inconsiderate of the people around them. Generally I tend to actively dislike extreme extroverts more, while just being neutral or slightly annoyed by extreme introverts, but it is hard to get to be close friends with either.

However, with people who are ambiverts or moderate introverts/extroverts, I can talk to them for hours. They are usually willing to approach me first and keep the conversation going, while not talking over me or dropping me the minute they see someone else. Has anyone else had similar experiences? I know extroverts in general tend to get a bad reputation, but I think a lot of them aren't as awful as we think and it's just the extremes that give them a bad name.

 

[Gritches]

I prefer extroverts, the more extreme the better. They're just easier to talk to, all I have to do is use active listening practices and ask follow-up questions and they generally do the heavy lifting in a conversation.

Of course, it depends on the person. Conversations with the aforementioned extreme extrovert are almost exclusively superficial - BS, at best. It doesn't always happen, but I find I can get a lot deeper and more meaningful conversation out of introverts; that is, if the conversation actually goes somewhere and we don't end up awkwardly ignoring each other, like you say.

 

[OlLiE]

conversation with introverts is often more interesting to me
it focuses more on thought than emotion
factual info transfer rather than emotionally convincing people

but that's just me

 

[Keigan]

@InfinityRose

The possibility exists to carry on a conversation between any two who are willing to engage.

 

[the_tortoise]

I prefer caring and kind people who I have something in common with. I don't have a preference beyond that.

 

[Jacoby]

im introverted enough that i dont talk to enough other people to have opinion, its not easy either way for me

 

[kay]

I went to an introvert Meetup once. We all just ended up talking to whoever we already knew because I don't think any of us showed up completely alone. An extreme introvert friend of mine had talked me into going so I ended up talking to her. The group didn't survive.
It doesn't matter to me about extrovert or introvert, just depends on the individual. Though none of my friends are extreme extroverts, so maybe it does matter.

 

[onlything]

Doesn't matter as long as they don't bother me in my down time.

 

[InfinityRose]

@InfinityRose

The possibility exists to carry on a conversation between any two who are willing to engage.

Yeah, I agree with this. All people are different and communication is a two-way street, I'm just mostly speaking in broad terms based on my experiences. I think I'm too shy to be willing to approach people first so it's hard to get to know extreme introverts, but I also need my space and prefer one-on-one, quiet conversations, so extreme extroverts come off as overbearing to me most of the time.

That being said, I think getting to know someone online would be the big exception to all of this. Even introverts like to talk to people online (myself included) and it allows for a more personal, more individualized relationship with extroverts.

 

[Keigan]

Yeah, I agree with this. All people are different and communication is a two-way street, I'm just mostly speaking in broad terms based on my experiences. I think I'm too shy to be willing to approach people first so it's hard to get to know extreme introverts, but I also need my space and prefer one-on-one, quiet conversations, so extreme extroverts come off as overbearing to me most of the time.

That being said, I think getting to know someone online would be the big exception to all of this. Even introverts like to talk to people online (myself included) and it allows for a more personal, more individualized relationship with extroverts.

We all have things that prevent or hinder us from trying, as does the other individual. Sometimes the act of trying will provide example and motivation for the other individual to try also, always varied.

My point is that fear is a huge deterrent and leading by example is a significant enabler. I’ve found that as people start to accept the influence that fear has upon them, they have the opportunity to use that fear to their advantage to do things differently. In general, people are more motivated to move away from fear than motivated towards something good and beneficial. It is a matter of gaining leverage on yourself.

In that, knowing your fears can be an amazing asset towards growth and change.

 

[Judge]

If I'm comfortable with them it doesn't matter.

 

[Mr Allen]

I don't mind either, apart from introverts who are so far up their own arse it's not remotely funny.

 

[Gracey]

Don't mind either.

Listening to an extravert means I don't have to say anything. They do all of the talking.

Spending time with an introvert means I don't have to say anything. They do all of the quiet too

 

[Adora]

My husband is extroverted and that’s ok since he can speak for the both of us while out but it is a interesting question,I have issues with both introverts and extroverts,while introverted myself if I come across someone as introverted as I am it’s difficult for both sides to start or hold a conversation while a very extroverted person may start a conversation with me but will take over the conversation but usually what happens to me is a extroverted person may talk to me for awhile then will more likely move on to someone else and talk to them for the rest of the evening,sometimes it’s a lose lose situation.