Do you relate to this? What should I do?

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

Thank you. I had the worst day at work today. It started when I was woke up and told that I was late. I thought I had to be in at 8:00 but that was tomorrow. Today it's 5:00 a.m. I looked at my schedule again and realized it says: off, five, eight, off, eight, nine, five. Last week I did something similar because I thought I had to be in at six, but it was seven so I went in an hour early on accident. I told them I'm okay with coming in everyday at 5:00 if that's what they need, but I foresee more confusion and mistakes if my schedule varies everyday. So I got to work and communicated my need to them and they were understanding. Later on I blurted out something I had heard on a comedy show because it popped in my head and I thought it was funny. I wasn't really talking to anyone, and I didn't mean to be offensive but someone took offense and said "I don't find that funny". I then told them that I wasn't even talking to you, and they wanted to argue about it and I could not let it go. I went outside and I couldn't even eat on my lunch break because I was so messed up about it. I went back in and apologize cuz I felt bad. And my manager came over and asked me to clean something and I planned to, but he started doing it after he asked me to do it. I was like why would you ask me to do it if you're going to do it. Then he just kept talking to me and I felt like my space was invaded and I told him you're in my personal space and he just laughed and said that's my job. So I said I'm just going to go until you're done and I'll come back. So I went to the bathroom and he came in there looking for me and said I didn't tell anybody I was leaving he thought I quit. Something else he said, that upset me but he said "that was sarcasm. I guess you don't understand sarcasm so I won't use it anymore." But he will. That's how his personality is I guess. Then when I was all done he asked me do I like my job. I like having a job but I do not like having to be there. But I have to. This freaking sucks!

 

[Judge]

Quite frankly with such hostility coming from your direct superior, I'd say you should be looking for another job. He simply doesn't sound like the sort of fellow that will let up on you anytime soon. Autistic or not...

 

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

Quite frankly with such hostility coming from your direct superior, I'd say you should be looking for another job. He simply doesn't sound like the sort of fellow that will let up on you anytime soon.

Okay. Thank you. Apparently that last part about "do you like your job?" That was supposed to be sarcasm too? When he said that I immediately thought I was in danger of being fired. My problem is, when I get a job, I feel like I should stick it out no matter what. I will never quit a job. My therapist told me to hang in there and she will help me work on finding a new job. It's just that new jobs are always tough and overwhelming. Despite all the bad things, the good thing is that I know how to do my job well, I have already invested time and energy into learning as much as I can. I think I get along with everybody else and when he is not around I do amazing and feel amazing. Thank you so much for your input.

 

[Judge]

Okay. Thank you. Apparently that last part about "do you like your job?" That was supposed to be sarcasm too?

No doubt. Sadly though I'd say that's a real indicator of your boss subtly informing you that your days are numbered there. Especially given the passive-aggressive tone of such a thing to be openly said to a subordinate. A good manager would have handled such an issue discreetly behind a closed door.

Whatever your transgressions may have been, IMO this all says much more about him than you in terms of his being unsuitable for the job he has.

Look at this way. This isn't a working environment that suits you or probably much of any person on the spectrum.

 

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

Besides all that, my coworkers really like me for the most part and said don't leave because they need me. Apparently there's something about me and the way I work that most people don't have. I actually care and go above and beyond to help other people without being asked. It's just that I'm suffering through it all. Most people probably will just quit. That's what I've seen so far. It doesn't matter what job I have, I'm still going to have to be there, and these things always have been a challenge. I am learning everyday and I don't really know a lot, but I have been through a lot and I am still alive so that makes me tough. I'm not weak. Apparently I have autism and I'm just going to have to learn more. Right now I don't have a plan b, so here we go.

 

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

No doubt. Sadly though I'd say that's a real indicator of your boss subtly informing you that your days are numbered there. Especially given the passive-aggressive tone of such a thing to be openly said to a subordinate. A good manager would have handled such an issue discreetly behind a closed door.

Whatever your transgressions may have been, IMO this all says much more about him than you in terms of his being unsuitable for the job he has.

Look at this way. This isn't a working environment that suits you or probably much of any person on the spectrum.

I don't know what I should do. What job should I have? I have always done these kinds of jobs. My therapist and counselors are working on getting me a diagnosis so I can apply for disability and helping me find a more suitable job. At least I think that's what they're doing. That's what they said they are doing and I have no reason to think otherwise. If there's something that I would be better at, I don't know what it is.

 

[Judge]

Besides all that, my coworkers really like me for the most part and said don't leave because they need me. Apparently there's something about me and the way I work that most people don't have. I actually care and go above and beyond to help other people without being asked. It's just that I'm suffering through it all. Most people probably will just quit. That's what I've seen so far. It doesn't matter what job I have, I'm still going to have to be there, and these things always have been a challenge. I am learning everyday and I don't really know a lot, but I have been through a lot and I am still alive so that makes me tough. I'm not weak. Apparently I have autism and I'm just going to have to learn more. Right now I don't have a plan b, so here we go.

Over the years I surmised that whatever mix of friendly or hostile coworkers would always be a crapshoot. But that what really counted was how your superiors dealt with you. That they were the real "deal-breakers".

Another complex aspect of the equation is your legal protections (if any) in acknowledging your status as Neurodiverse upon being hired. And whether or not your employer is treating you in good faith under such circumstances.

One thing to always keep abreast of is that the chemistry of your bosses and coworkers may ultimately be more important than whatever job you have. Unless of course you consider whether you have a viable option of being self-employed. Which is a pretty tough bar to meet for most folks. But it can be ideal for those of us on the spectrum as well.

Under the existing circumstances, I'd say you need to focus on that "plan b" no matter what you decide to do. If my boss spoke to me in such a manner I'd take it as a prelude to termination.

 

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

Over the years I surmised that whatever mix of friendly or hostile coworkers would always be a crapshoot. But that what really counted was how your superiors dealt with you. That they were the real "deal-breakers".

Another complex aspect of the equation is your legal protections (if any) in acknowledging your status as Neurodiverse upon being hired. And whether or not your employer is treated you in good faith under such circumstances.

One thing to always keep abreast of is that the chemistry of your bosses and coworkers may ultimately be more important than whatever job you have. Unless of course you consider whether you have a viable option of being self-employed. Which is a pretty tough bar to meet for most folks. But it can be ideal for those of us on the spectrum as well.

Under the existing circumstances, I'd say you need to focus on that "plan b" no matter what you decide to do.

Ok

 

[Knower of nothing]

From the small sliver of interaction without being able to tell anything about body language and tone it's really too quick to say if he was being hostile at all. To my intuition it all sounds rather normal, a little stressful maybe, but everyone showed a fair bit of understanding.

 

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

Over the years I surmised that whatever mix of friendly or hostile coworkers would always be a crapshoot. But that what really counted was how your superiors dealt with you. That they were the real "deal-breakers".

Another complex aspect of the equation is your legal protections (if any) in acknowledging your status as Neurodiverse upon being hired. And whether or not your employer is treating you in good faith under such circumstances.

One thing to always keep abreast of is that the chemistry of your bosses and coworkers may ultimately be more important than whatever job you have. Unless of course you consider whether you have a viable option of being self-employed. Which is a pretty tough bar to meet for most folks. But it can be ideal for those of us on the spectrum as well.

Under the existing circumstances, I'd say you need to focus on that "plan b" no matter what you decide to do. If my boss spoke to me in such a manner I'd take it as a prelude to termination.

Thank you.

 

[Patrick Bushdiecker]

Besides all that, my coworkers really like me for the most part and said don't leave because they need me. Apparently there's something about me and the way I work that most people don't have. I actually care and go above and beyond to help other people without being asked. It's just that I'm suffering through it all. Most people probably will just quit. That's what I've seen so far. It doesn't matter what job I have, I'm still going to have to be there, and these things always have been a challenge. I am learning everyday and I don't really know a lot, but I have been through a lot and I am still alive so that makes me tough. I'm not weak. Apparently I have autism and I'm just going to have to learn more. Right now I don't have a plan b, so here we go.

Today was the worst day at work. I got there determined to have a good day and started to. Then the manager that always picks on me (my coworkers and other managers see it too and said they don't like it) came over just as I was getting into my rhythm and told me I was doing it all wrong. First I grab 18 frozen sausage patties, but I have trouble counting in a normal way. I find it easier and faster to count 4 stacks of 4 and add 2. He saw me going to start laying them down on the grill and said "why do you have it in a big stack in one hand like that." How are you going to put them down 2 at a time. (He was wanting me to use both hands to put down 2 at a time) I said, "I can't do it like that". He said, " yes you can, watch" and took them from me and started doing it for me! I told him I still can't do it that way Because it's not how the training video showed me. It said "lay the patties in the order you will remove them." If you do 2 at a time, you would then have to have a spatula in each hand to take them up and that's ridiculous! My brain shut off and I couldn't handle anything else he said but I didn't walk away and I didn't punch him in the face either. He then lied and said I was wrong and not following procedures. Then he pointed at a picture book and said "it's in there." I said, "show me what you mean". So he opened the book and found out I was right the whole time. I think he was trying to confuse me for some reason? At that point I said "I'm going on break and stumbled away." All my coworkers and other managers saw it and said that was messed up. I went outside and crumbled to the floor and called a friend. I wanted to go get drunk and throw it all away but I didn't. I lost my appetite and was afraid to go back in because I thought I was going to get fired. Even though I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't get fired but that situation ruined the rest of my day and I got a bad headache. Even after he left, I felt physically weak and kept forgetting things about my job and I just couldn't shake it. I asked to go home but they were busy and needed me. So I stayed. Plus he left to go to a meeting so the problem was gone, I just couldn't recover from this like I wanted to. I had to endure 7 more hours with a headache and my brain all scrambled. I had to go in the freezer and sit down a few times, but I made it through! I've decided I'm not going to run away from my problems, I think I am the problem, and so maybe I need to learn how to overcome myself. Thank God I am safe in bed, I have a place to stay, shower, clean clothes, and an opportunity to try it again after this day off. Love you all and thank you for listening.