Hello everyone,
I'd like to start by saying I recently did the AQ test and scored 39. I didn't think about it for a while after, but then started reading about autism, particularly aspergers, and it sounded like I may have it.
Also, my mum told me a few years ago, that when I was a child a doctor said I may be autistic. However, it wasn't followed up. My mum is the kind of person who wouldn't want it followed up, she would want me to think I am normal so I can succeed. She pushed me a lot while growing up to succeed, because I was so odd that she was concerned about my future. Thanks to her pushing and nagging I am now studying a masters degree in information science. However, I am at a point in my life where I'd like to know if there is anything wrong.
Let me start by talking about my childhood. I had one good friend through all of primary school and high school. She made other friends, who in turn became my own friends. However, they always thought I was incredibly weird. I was bullied for being weird by others in school, but not nearly as much as I was bullied at home by two of my younger sisters. They, and the school bullies, liked to tell me I was slow.
I cried at least once a week in primary school, usually more. Stupid reasons. Even in high school I cried a lot. In one instance in year 10 I recall crying hysterically because I got litter duty. I cried for hours on end for several days. I suspect it may be a self defence mechanism because I don't know how to communicate what I want to say properly, but this is just speculation.
In school, I talked very little. I hated small talk. When it came to small talk I just didn't know what to say. My friends would talk to me and I would reply with some strange response, and they would think I was weird.
My friends from high school drifted away from me almost completely after about a year after I graduated. The necessity for them to hang around me was gone, and I didn't have the skill or will to maintain the relationships. It's been about 4 years of me having no friends now, and I must say it is rather lonely. I have a boyfriend, who is also rather weird. I live with him, and we have been together for over 4 years. But it's not the same as having friends you can talk to.
I am now in University. I can get past the basic 'hello, how are you' 'yea good how are you' point of conversation to the complaining about too many assignments stage. But then for some reason the conversation stops and there is awkward silence. Then they start talking to someone else, who they talk with much longer for.
My non-verbal language, from my standpoint, is fairly non-existent. My eye contact... well, I have no idea. I may be doing too little, or I may be doing too much. I think that it?s usually one or the other.
I don?t really know if this has anything to do with it, but I have a really odd voice. People have told me I sound very childish, and some people have trouble understanding me. I often stumble over my words and sound rather awkward.
I have an inability to become interested in things. I have one interest that dominates my life ? anime. I love collecting it, arranging it, sorting it by date or genre, watching it, discussing it... If I?m with someone I know likes anime, including my boyfriend, I will attempt to change the topic so I can discuss anime instead. It?s the only interest I really have. This interest is rather narrow, only in the anime itself and not really in the merchandise, the manga, the games, etc, like most people who like anime get into. Growing up, I had an interest in cats. I would collect figures, toys, information... but that interest practically went away after my new interest in anime arose.
I can spend hours on end arranging things. Mostly the files on my computer. It can be rather time consuming when I really get into it.
Emotions wise... I always disliked it when one of my friends got upset. Luckily my other friends would hug them and make them feel better, but I would always stand aside wondering what, if anything, I should do. I find that I am ?uncaring? of people?s emotions in general, though I can sympathise with unfortunate events I see on the news, and with TV and anime characters. I sometimes say rude things without realising they are rude, and then people are very offended. After they get offended I can usually understand why what I said could be seen as rude.
I do a lot of repetitive things. Such as fiddling with labels on things until I have destroyed them. Often I don?t notice I am doing this. Or arranging my things for hours on end.
I have no problem with my imagination. In fact, I think I have an overactive imagination.
Thanks everyone, and feel free to ask me questions!
Any feedback would be appreciated
Extra notes: I score way above average at reading facial expressions on tests XD
I'd like to start by saying I recently did the AQ test and scored 39. I didn't think about it for a while after, but then started reading about autism, particularly aspergers, and it sounded like I may have it.
Also, my mum told me a few years ago, that when I was a child a doctor said I may be autistic. However, it wasn't followed up. My mum is the kind of person who wouldn't want it followed up, she would want me to think I am normal so I can succeed. She pushed me a lot while growing up to succeed, because I was so odd that she was concerned about my future. Thanks to her pushing and nagging I am now studying a masters degree in information science. However, I am at a point in my life where I'd like to know if there is anything wrong.
Let me start by talking about my childhood. I had one good friend through all of primary school and high school. She made other friends, who in turn became my own friends. However, they always thought I was incredibly weird. I was bullied for being weird by others in school, but not nearly as much as I was bullied at home by two of my younger sisters. They, and the school bullies, liked to tell me I was slow.
I cried at least once a week in primary school, usually more. Stupid reasons. Even in high school I cried a lot. In one instance in year 10 I recall crying hysterically because I got litter duty. I cried for hours on end for several days. I suspect it may be a self defence mechanism because I don't know how to communicate what I want to say properly, but this is just speculation.
In school, I talked very little. I hated small talk. When it came to small talk I just didn't know what to say. My friends would talk to me and I would reply with some strange response, and they would think I was weird.
My friends from high school drifted away from me almost completely after about a year after I graduated. The necessity for them to hang around me was gone, and I didn't have the skill or will to maintain the relationships. It's been about 4 years of me having no friends now, and I must say it is rather lonely. I have a boyfriend, who is also rather weird. I live with him, and we have been together for over 4 years. But it's not the same as having friends you can talk to.
I am now in University. I can get past the basic 'hello, how are you' 'yea good how are you' point of conversation to the complaining about too many assignments stage. But then for some reason the conversation stops and there is awkward silence. Then they start talking to someone else, who they talk with much longer for.
My non-verbal language, from my standpoint, is fairly non-existent. My eye contact... well, I have no idea. I may be doing too little, or I may be doing too much. I think that it?s usually one or the other.
I don?t really know if this has anything to do with it, but I have a really odd voice. People have told me I sound very childish, and some people have trouble understanding me. I often stumble over my words and sound rather awkward.
I have an inability to become interested in things. I have one interest that dominates my life ? anime. I love collecting it, arranging it, sorting it by date or genre, watching it, discussing it... If I?m with someone I know likes anime, including my boyfriend, I will attempt to change the topic so I can discuss anime instead. It?s the only interest I really have. This interest is rather narrow, only in the anime itself and not really in the merchandise, the manga, the games, etc, like most people who like anime get into. Growing up, I had an interest in cats. I would collect figures, toys, information... but that interest practically went away after my new interest in anime arose.
I can spend hours on end arranging things. Mostly the files on my computer. It can be rather time consuming when I really get into it.
Emotions wise... I always disliked it when one of my friends got upset. Luckily my other friends would hug them and make them feel better, but I would always stand aside wondering what, if anything, I should do. I find that I am ?uncaring? of people?s emotions in general, though I can sympathise with unfortunate events I see on the news, and with TV and anime characters. I sometimes say rude things without realising they are rude, and then people are very offended. After they get offended I can usually understand why what I said could be seen as rude.
I do a lot of repetitive things. Such as fiddling with labels on things until I have destroyed them. Often I don?t notice I am doing this. Or arranging my things for hours on end.
I have no problem with my imagination. In fact, I think I have an overactive imagination.
Thanks everyone, and feel free to ask me questions!
Any feedback would be appreciated
Extra notes: I score way above average at reading facial expressions on tests XD
So diagnosis would be difficult I would imagine. The only things I remember about my childhood are the embarrassing things, like climbing to high on the play equipment and crying because I couldn't come down, and accidentally going to the class I'd attended the previous year at the start of every new year XD
