"Doctors are 'failing to spot Asperger's in girls'"

[IContainMultitudes]

(Via Kirsten Lindsmith on Facebook):

Doctors are 'failing to spot Asperger's in girls' | Society | The Observer

 

[millie33]

Right on.

 

[HelenaJustina]

Girls slip through the diagnostic net, said Attwood, because they are so good at camouflaging or masking their symptoms. "Boys tend to externalise their problems, while girls learn that, if they're good, their differences will not be noticed," he said. "Boys go into attack mode when frustrated, while girls suffer in silence and become passive-aggressive. Girls learn to appease and apologise. They learn to observe people from a distance and imitate them. It is only if you look closely and ask the right questions, you see the terror in their eyes and see that their reactions are a learnt script."

Yup.

 

[Judge]

Dizzy, you following this one?

 

[anja]

My first psychologist was very unhelpful and we didn't mesh. My second psychologist was far better and she could spot the signs very easily I feel

 

[Warwick C]

Judge I have let Arashi know of the thread as well

 

[Arashi222]

Also those that diagnose are not trained as much in spotting girls. I noticed that. Unless you look closely you often don't see it. I had the same thing with my re-evaulation that the guy who did openly said that he worked more with boys and therefore had a harder time with it than if he had worked with more equal numbers. He also said that a lot more girls have what he calls NVLD (non-verbal learning disability) which if you actually read the finer points of it is basically AS however as it stands now you can be diagnosed with both as I was. I just get so upset when Doctors as people suggest to me that being a girl excludes me from being autistic.

I always tell people don't try just one doctor try several before you find one that works well with you and listens and actually knows about autism. Make sure they are well versed in female presentation of it.

 

[Sass]

I was lucky that when I took myself to a psych for diagnosis I went to a lady who specialised in working with girls on the spectrum. But I agree, I spent most of my life being a social mimic, so it would have been hard for anyone to see a difference in me unless I wanted them to.

 

[Ariel]

Getting a diagnosis is a long and frustrating process for girls. The psych doctor I first saw didn't even have a basic understanding of the signs in either sex and dismissed it out of hand. Unfortunately, public perception of the Autism Spectrum seems limited to small boys with classic autism. Adults and especially women are more often diagnosed with Borderline Personality instead.

 

[HelloDizzy]

Doctors only look at the severe male marks for Asperger's and that makes it very difficult for us. That's why I am writing a book about us. I don't understand why people with doctorate have a hard time understanding that female Aspies, like regular females, are going to be better at adapting to social situations and at "looking normal" than male Aspies. Being able to function socially is a survival trait in females - female Aspies are STILL females.
A lot of us function at or slightly under how an NT male functions socially. While it is still considered functional, it is very odd of a typical female. But because we have usually taught ourselves to blend in a bit by adulthood, getting diagnosed with "social phobia" is more likely and incredibly wrong.

 

[Ereth]

To add to what Dizzy said, I think the core of the problem is not just that most people are looking at "male markers" for ASD, but that they're applying the symptoms to a male's emotional paradigm instead of a female's . . . we feel the same emotions, but express them in different ways.

 

[dragonwolf]

Doctors only look at the severe male marks for Asperger's and that makes it very difficult for us. That's why I am writing a book about us. I don't understand why people with doctorate have a hard time understanding that female Aspies, like regular females, are going to be better at adapting to social situations and at "looking normal" than male Aspies. Being able to function socially is a survival trait in females - female Aspies are STILL females.
A lot of us function at or slightly under how an NT male functions socially. While it is still considered functional, it is very odd of a typical female. But because we have usually taught ourselves to blend in a bit by adulthood, getting diagnosed with "social phobia" is more likely and incredibly wrong.

Survival isn't even the word for it, I don't think. The need to "blend in" in any way possible, is basically beaten into us by other girls when we're kids without recourse (in my experience). There are entire books on the nuances of female bullying, and how it's so easily missed, because it's largely covert and passive-aggressive. It's astounding how much some have it down to an art form.

The fact that I function a lot like an NT male makes sense, at least for me, as I've always tended to gravitate toward males even for platonic relationships, as opposed to females (except for the ones that share the personality trait patterns), just by virtue of shared personality traits.

But yeah, society has taught girls in general that it's best to blend in, be "seen and not heard," be polite, and whatnot. It makes it difficult to push to get help, for fear of rocking the boat or being different.

Unfortunately, I've found that many doctors are pretty clueless about a lot of things, and some are quite arrogant, to boot. I also have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), and had to go through three (female!) doctors to get someone that didn't just dismiss me out of hand and just tell me that the weight issues were just me being a lazy glutton (what astounded me was that one of said doctors was the one that had given me the diagnosis initially!). I also had some eczema, that the doctor just dismissed as "contact dermatitis" (aka - you got into something that your skin reacted to) and basically said "here's a corticosteroid cream, have fun!" instead of taking a little time to consider what the actual root cause was (and, you know, see if there was even anything that I'd come into contact with, or suggest what that "something" was).

The main key to finding a good doctor is finding one that realizes that their education didn't end when they got that Doctorate degree. They should be willing to learn about new things, admit when they're not familiar with something, and should be willing to listen to the patient and work with them. I'd have far more respect for a doctor that is willing to say "I'm not familiar with that, but I will research it, and we can work together to find a solution that works for you," than one who won't admit that they're wrong or lacking in knowledge in a certain area and seem to insist that the things they learned in school are gospel.

 

[grapesicles]

Survival isn't even the word for it, I don't think. The need to "blend in" in any way possible, is basically beaten into us by other girls when we're kids without recourse (in my experience). There are entire books on the nuances of female bullying, and how it's so easily missed, because it's largely covert and passive-aggressive. It's astounding how much some have it down to an art form.

The fact that I function a lot like an NT male makes sense, at least for me, as I've always tended to gravitate toward males even for platonic relationships, as opposed to females (except for the ones that share the personality trait patterns), just by virtue of shared personality traits.

But yeah, society has taught girls in general that it's best to blend in, be "seen and not heard," be polite, and whatnot. It makes it difficult to push to get help, for fear of rocking the boat or being different.

Unfortunately, I've found that many doctors are pretty clueless about a lot of things, and some are quite arrogant, to boot. I also have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), and had to go through three (female!) doctors to get someone that didn't just dismiss me out of hand and just tell me that the weight issues were just me being a lazy glutton (what astounded me was that one of said doctors was the one that had given me the diagnosis initially!). I also had some eczema, that the doctor just dismissed as "contact dermatitis" (aka - you got into something that your skin reacted to) and basically said "here's a corticosteroid cream, have fun!" instead of taking a little time to consider what the actual root cause was (and, you know, see if there was even anything that I'd come into contact with, or suggest what that "something" was).

The main key to finding a good doctor is finding one that realizes that their education didn't end when they got that Doctorate degree. They should be willing to learn about new things, admit when they're not familiar with something, and should be willing to listen to the patient and work with them. I'd have far more respect for a doctor that is willing to say "I'm not familiar with that, but I will research it, and we can work together to find a solution that works for you," than one who won't admit that they're wrong or lacking in knowledge in a certain area and seem to insist that the things they learned in school are gospel.

It's really sad and scary when doctors don't seem to know what they're doing, and that your health and well-being is in their hands. I suffered for over 2 years with a painful skin problem and eventually found that just coconut oil helped - I wish one of them had advised of that much sooner!

I now use my parents' home address for medical appointments, as the doctors in their area seem to be much better and I'm more than happy to travel to see them if it means I get better quality of help. At least my doctor admitted she didn't know a huge amount about AS and that she could direct me to someone who was much more informed.

 

[millie33]

How about having a genius level IQ and being dismissed for your knowledge but judged on how your behavior fits to the female norm?

 

[Judge]

I now use my parents' home address for medical appointments, as the doctors in their area seem to be much better and I'm more than happy to travel to see them if it means I get better quality of help. At least my doctor admitted she didn't know a huge amount about AS and that she could direct me to someone who was much more informed.

Well done, Becky. Do what you gotta do to get things done!

 

[garnetflower13]

Survival isn't even the word for it, I don't think. The need to "blend in" in any way possible, is basically beaten into us by other girls when we're kids without recourse (in my experience). There are entire books on the nuances of female bullying, and how it's so easily missed, because it's largely covert and passive-aggressive. It's astounding how much some have it down to an art form.

Oh, yes, bullying by other females. The most recent episode was about two years ago, at a gathering that my husband took me to. He of course was oblivious to it, and kept insisting that these women had done nothing wrong and perhaps I was imagining it. Ugh!

 

[Ste11aeres]

Unfortunately, I've found that many doctors are pretty clueless about a lot of things, and some are quite arrogant, to boot. I also have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), and had to go through three (female!) doctors to get someone that didn't just dismiss me out of hand and just tell me that the weight issues were just me being a lazy glutton (what astounded me was that one of said doctors was the one that had given me the diagnosis initially!). I also had some eczema, that the doctor just dismissed as "contact dermatitis" (aka - you got into something that your skin reacted to) and basically said "here's a corticosteroid cream, have fun!" instead of taking a little time to consider what the actual root cause was (and, you know, see if there was even anything that I'd come into contact with, or suggest what that "something" was).

The main key to finding a good doctor is finding one that realizes that their education didn't end when they got that Doctorate degree. They should be willing to learn about new things, admit when they're not familiar with something, and should be willing to listen to the patient and work with them. I'd have far more respect for a doctor that is willing to say "I'm not familiar with that, but I will research it, and we can work together to find a solution that works for you," than one who won't admit that they're wrong or lacking in knowledge in a certain area and seem to insist that the things they learned in school are gospel.

I've found that general practitioners are pretty clueless. Maybe it's the "Jack of all Trades, Master of None" thing. But specialists can be good. Once you yourself have done enough research to figure out what it probably is and what type of specialist you need to see.

 

[Sass]

I've found that general practitioners are pretty clueless. Maybe it's the "Jack of all Trades, Master of None" thing. But specialists can be good. Once you yourself have done enough research to figure out what it probably is and what type of specialist you need to see.

Agreed I went over my GP's head and found a psych that would listen. My GP just threw sleeping tablets and me and told me I was too anxious. Well duh, but there's more to it than that!

 

[HelloDizzy]

One thing I am going to add to my book is why in the WORLD these people writing Aspie-female articles think that female peers "guide the Aspie female" and that's how we end up more socially adept than Aspie males. I have never experienced this bubbly, pink, caring nature in little girls that these articles seem to gesture at. Little girls are mean. I was friends with only boys for a reason; yes, they would acknowledge I was weird, but they would shrug it off quickly because I presented value as a playmate.
Professionals seem to do their best to remove the "gender' factor from Asperger's women. They assume we are asexual when they acknowledge we exist. Females are simply more socially-oriented than males are, and that transfers to Aspie females by being beat into us with a catty crowbar. Even female entertainment is based around following strict social adherence - chickflicks like Mean Girls and Easy A, for example, all revolve around social malarky. Movies geared at men, however, revolve around *breaking* social contracts by speeding your car around, acting a fool and just being abnormal.

 

[Atay]

I meet with a group of female Aspies once/month. It's so strange to be with people who think like me. At first, I couldn't stop the neurotypical mimicking, as I had been so programmed over the decades. Now, it's my refreshing escape from it all.

I actually did grow up with a neurotypical female next door, who essentially taught me how to behave. I wouldn't call it a healthy relationship, but it definitely reduced the severity of the bullying at school.

I even studied psychology, and never previously identified as an aspie because everything talked about the male version. It's really sad because I would've probably had a much more fun life thus far if I would've known where to find people like me.