Does anybody else here have experience with or advice on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

[Dendrite]

Hi. As the thread title asks, does anybody else here experience, or have experienced, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?

I came across this term in passing fairly recently through reading online about something somewhat related to the matter, and realising it could possibly be something I've experienced for many years now. If anyone does not know what Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is, here is an article about it. In a very brief summary however, it is broadly a greatly-heightened sensitivity towards being rejected (or the possibility of rejection) by other people, with a lot of emotional pain, anxiety and anger ensuing as a result.

I wanted to make this topic here to ask if anyone else has experiences with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? As said, whilst I definitely don't want to self-diagnose (as I am of course not a medical professional or otherwise qualiifed to do so), but the fact that I've heard about something with a tangible name, that correlates a lot with my own experiences has felt like something of a revelation. I happen to be an autistic adult who has a long history of mental illness (including PTSD) stemming heavily from an abusive childhood and early adult years, the product of being the victim of abusive family members in addition to abuse and bullying faced in school by the other students and (in a few cases) certain teachers who were never patient with me.

I feel based on what I have read about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria that it is likely my trauma is a factor in the experiences I still often have, of worrying so intensely that the few friends and remaining family members I still choose to be in contact with will reject and leave me if I upset or anger them or just do something wrong unintentionally. I've experienced this for years as aforementioned, it overwhelms me to the point I will end up avoiding the people I care about and it's ruined potential good friendships I once had (keeping in mind I find it extremely difficult to find friends as it is). I want to get better at managing these emotions and not feeling immense guilt and sadness if I even think about the idea of unknowingly causing upset.

Can anyone else here relate? I'm planning to talk to my therapist about this revelation when I see them next, as I really want to find a way of dealing with these overwhelmingly painful and distressing feelings when they happen.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I have not read about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, though I've seen the term. I find it odd, as it seems to focus on a symptom of something larger, but as I said: I'm also ignorant there.

I do relate to what you're describing, though. I've found reading about family issues and dysfunction to be helpful. If people caring for you also repeatedly abandon you, it's definitely easy to fear rejection or perceive it where it isn't. Autism, itself, can add a whole other layer of rejection and misunderstanding.

It sounds like you are taking some good steps Thank you for the link.

 

[FayetheAspie]

New Insights Into Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

 

[FayetheAspie]

“Recognition Responsive Euphoria,” or RRE - Dr. Hallowell.

 

[Rodafina]

I think learning about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) can be a helpful way to understand why rejection can be so difficult for some people and the impact that that has on social interactions and self esteem. It is so often related to trauma, attachment issues, and repeated negative social experiences. It is a valuable rabbit hole to dive down if the goal is to understand and grow from that.

My problem with the "diagnosis" of RSD is that it can make people feel like it is something that they are stuck with and will always experience an intense reaction to rejection. I think it is important for people who can relate to the symptoms of RSD to remember that it is a condition that is particularly susceptible to change over time. Improving self esteem, building healthy relationships, and exploring these issues in therapy can significantly improve RSD symptoms. It is not the type of condition that one must feel stuck with, powerless, without hope for change. There is very much hope for change with understanding, concerted effort and some support.

 

[FilterFreq]

I also think it's probably pretty malleable, but I certainly deal with this on a daily basis myself. Ever since I first heard of it, I kind of figured it was a common symptom of ASD, although I'm sure not everyone with ASD is afflicted with RSD. It seems to be a relatively new term in our collective lexicon, and one that explains things quite well.

 

[FayetheAspie]

Ok. You are right. I found some other articles that talk about ASD being able to cause it too.

 

[Kitsuna]

My problem with the "diagnosis" of RSD is that it can make people feel like it is something that they are stuck with and will always experience an intense reaction to rejection. I think it is important for people who can relate to the symptoms of RSD to remember that it is a condition that is particularly susceptible to change over time. Improving self esteem, building healthy relationships, and exploring these issues in therapy can significantly improve RSD symptoms. It is not the type of condition that one must feel stuck with, powerless, without hope for change. There is very much hope for change with understanding, concerted effort and some support.

To piggy-back this: I think it's been useful for me to have a coined term, as I don't think would've as easily connected rejection reactions to ADHD, but when RSD was brought up by my therapist in the last year, I was honestly very hesitant to embrace it as something I had, because similar to what you've said, I didn't want to add a possibly unnecessary layer to what I'd already been diagnosed and any mental baggage that came with it. I agree there needs to be an emphasis that it can be managed like any other aspect of ADHD.

 

[Crossbreed]

When I am snubbed, I just look elsewhere for friends...

 

[MNAus]

It's funny. When you go to ADHD forums, people bring the term up often. On ASD forums it's almost like it's just part of the scenery for many with autism. I don't think it's a very helpful term because I think the outward reactions and traits can come from a number of directions which means they might not be experienced the same or even be the same, even though we use a common term. I wonder if someone with highly negative reactions due to attachment issues really has the same as some who does so due to autism.

So for autism, I believe it's part of a general set of increased sensitivities including the usual senses. I think for many with ASD it's not specifically about rejection, but about negative emotions generally. So we could tack on a bunch of other *SDs, including the big, ugly, terrifying ESD: Embarrassment Sensitive Dysphoria. But I believe this is not about unhelpful reactions to regular emptions, but just receiving emotions set to volume 11. I think this is something that many people with autism take into account in many of their activities, so almost goes without saying.

 

[Dendrite]

Hello all, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences on the matter in this thread. I do agree with the points some of you have raised here about RSD, or specific elements or traits of it, being something often common with many autistic individuals. Like some of you who have shared your experiences have said too, it's something I too have experienced for pretty much my entire life in an increasingly-worsening capacity. @MNAus, your description of RSD traits being part of the scenery with the experiences of a lot of us as autistic people especially is a very apt description of it, in my opinion.

I do feel that my own deep-seated emotional trauma-related illnesses, along with my certain difficulties in reading other people, have been major factors in making it worse. Without going into specific details, it's something that I feel has intensified for me in around the past 5 years, but as stated in the OP I feel having a name for it (irrespective of whether it would be much of a helpful label of classification) and seeing commonality has been a bit of a revelation. I hope this will lend itself well to helping me articulate how this has affected me for so long when I speak to my therapist in the next week or so.

 

[Kayla55]

Ye, but this dysforia can be bit more than childhood background, although relevant point is confidence.
Despite girls not having pickup guys, I prefer laid back setting off friends first, relationship later.
Confidence is different for everyone, may be money, good looks.
So many different layers,

 

[Dendrite]

That's true, a lot of these kinds of experiences take place for us as a result of a multitude of factors; nothing ever really happens in a vacuum, so to speak. As said in my own case, a lot of what I presume it relates to in my own experience is my incredibly traumatic childhood/very late teens and early adult years, as well as how hard it is for me to make and maintain friends making me feel desperate and alone sometimes. I have since spoken to my therapist about the stuff broadly along the lines of RSD as outlined in the OP, and it's been an OK start. I feel like working out how to combat this will take time but hopefully it will get easier with enough processing, insight and changes to my thought processes and behaviours on my behalf.

 

[FayetheAspie]

Related to this topic, I find Hebrews 13:5 to be reassuring because it assures us that God will never leave us nor forsake us. It is comforting to know that God does not abandon us even if people do.

 

[Jonn]

Can anyone else here relate? I'm planning to talk to my therapist about this revelation when I see them next, as I really want to find a way of dealing with these overwhelmingly painful and distressing feelings when they happen.

I have a very good friend who has RSD.

 

[Jonn]

When I am snubbed, I just look elsewhere for friends...

Spoiler

My offer of being your "friend" still stands, since I tick all the required boxes.
I am sure your wife will understand.

To the OP:
This is a private joke.
If you want me to explain, I can do so in a PM.

 

[Jonn]

I feel like working out how to combat this will take time but hopefully it will get easier with enough processing, insight and changes to my thought processes and behaviours on my behalf.

You seem to be a very rational/thinking-type person.
I feel positive that you will overcome RSD in time.
I'm speaking from experience.