Don't connect well with people at the office

[The Penguin]

I should be happy I get free office space as this is a rare thing people get in life. However, after working out of this building for a month, I feel I don't connect with anyone. I have spoken to a few people. But as a whole, I still feel I don't connect with the group.

To start, I'm not into the social gathering about drinking. The game nights they have don't interests me because they are into FPS games. Another thing, most people in this office into the Apple culture thing. I'm not into that brand which makes me feel I'm not a good fit. Now, I have spoken to many people in life into Apple products and got along with them well. But I don't know. Maybe I will feel comfortable with the people in the future. I guess the first step is seeing if there anyone in this building into other things besides the norm. That's the problem. I have no interest in the norm. I don't consider it creative at all.

 

[Kari Suttle]

Two years later and I still don't connect with my coworkers at the grocery store I work part time at, even those that have been there just as long as I have if not longer. If anything its worse, they used to try to be friendly with me but now they don't. They're polite of course, just not friendly like they are with everyone else. I'm an outcast and its obvious.

 

[The Penguin]

Two years later and I still don't connect with my coworkers at the grocery store I work part time at, even those that have been there just as long as I have if not longer. If anything its worse, they used to try to be friendly with me but now they don't. They're polite of course, just not friendly like they are with everyone else. I'm an outcast and its obvious.

Hmm, reminds me of a company I once worked for. Some of them could't get why I'm not into drinking.

 

[Judge]

If anything its worse, they used to try to be friendly with me but now they don't. They're polite of course, just not friendly like they are with everyone else. I'm an outcast and its obvious.

For me that sort of dynamic strikes me much like empathy. That because I don't overtly and physically project it, people are apt to think I don't have it at all. So that because I didn't obviously and overtly appear friendly, in their eyes I wasn't friendly. It's just not my way.

I just don't always wear my heart on sleeve. Apparently this is a violation of some social convention....ugh.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I should be happy I get free office space as this is a rare thing people get in life. However, after working out of this building for a month, I feel I don't connect with anyone. I have spoken to a few people. But as a whole, I still feel I don't connect with the group.

To start, I'm not into the social gathering about drinking. The game nights they have don't interests me because they are into FPS games. Another thing, most people in this office into the Apple culture thing. I'm not into that brand which makes me feel I'm not a good fit. Now, I have spoken to many people in life into Apple products and got along with them well. But I don't know. Maybe I will feel comfortable with the people in the future. I guess the first step is seeing if there anyone in this building into other things besides the norm. That's the problem. I have no interest in the norm. I don't consider it creative at all.

I'm curious about the office. Does your group occupy a suite, a floor, the whole building? Is it all guys? What's "FPS?" I get the Apple culture thing, (I've never been a real Apple fan, mostly because of the expense.)

Is there anything interesting about the people themselves?

I often feel as if I don't fit in a group, That's never gotten easier, but what has worked for me often enough is finding a fit with just one person at a time, sequentially, until there's a "shell" of people in a couple of different groups. I like food and ethnic cooking, so if I can't connect with a work assignment, or a volunteer effort to help someone that seems approachable, I'll use the kitchen connection...we all gotta eat.

 

[The Penguin]

It is a place for IT start-ups. There people pay rent for the suites, and then there people like me using the open floor area that is free. There is two floors. I work in the lower level that is quiet. The upper level there is a open area and more suites. It also where they host events and very noisy which is why I don't work up stairs. FPS is First Person Shooter Games. Example, Call of Duty.

I don't know. I been living in Nova Scotia for 5 years and still haven't adjusted well with the people.

 

[ASD_Geek]

I'm not really social at work. Some of the guys like to go to lunch together and even attend each others parties during the holidays. For me, I'd rather eat alone. I did go a few times to try it out, but I'm not into the socialization. It seems too forced. I certainly don't want to talk about work. I'm at lunch to get away from work! I also don't care to talk about seemingly meaningless topics, so I keep to myself and try to sneak out unnoticed.

Aside from lunch, I have a few coworkers that talk incessantly about any and everything. I usually just put my headphones on and try to ignore it all.

 

[Nitro]

I look at it this way,if you are there as single element to advance your financial situation that does not require teamwork,what does it matter what the person sitting next to you thinks or cares about you. If this is the case here,ignore them as they have chosen to ignore you,reciprocity will make them uneasy as well.
Business has strange bedfellows and very few true blue friends. Business alliances are formed when others place value in the work you do,not how you dress,what objects you own or how you share your time after work. Work is an ugly word to begin with,a necessity for survival,not a social gathering for fun. It sounds like the ones in your office would climb your back to get higher on the ladder and are there only for themselves as you should be if you want your own gig.

From what you have described in former postings about your business plan,you are is all about you being in charge. Free workspace is a great way to get started. The incentive is to expand enough to use space that is your own,and not a part of a conglomerate pile of emotional losers with their petty sets of values who try to drag you down to their level.
I fully understand you do not get along with others and it hurts you...do you really want that same set of dynamics to destroy your hopes and dreams of self-employment? I would think not

I spent a lot of time trying to lead the rat race and as tough as it got at times,I always felt like I could be the winner of it. Adopt my attitude.
Second place is the first loser applies to anything you do

 

[The Penguin]

Nitro

True. I guess I should consider the following

• I got accepted in a business program to get a free living allowance for a minimum of 40 weeks.
• An organization gave me interest free loan, paid for business name registration and classes. They also helping me getting an extension for the business program
• Free office space downtown Halifax
• Endless advice from many people
• A person trying to help me pay lower interest for my debts
• and more things to come

So I guess the most important thing, as long I have all these parties supports my business and wants me to succeeded, no need to worry about others in the office.

 

[zurb]

...So that because I didn't obviously and overtly appear friendly, in their eyes I wasn't friendly. It's just not my way.
I just don't always wear my heart on sleeve. Apparently this is a violation of some social convention....ugh.

I read a book once that said NTs view you as a friend if you project the attitude that they are the best thing that ever happened to you. Otherwise they view you as public enemy number one. There is no middle ground.
Those of us who try to walk a middle ground, are indifferent, egalitarian, or are simply polite will be shunned.
Maybe this is a rather extreme view (do they really think like this?), but it does seem to explain what we observe.

 

[Judge]

I read a book once that said NTs view you as a friend if you project the attitude that they are the best thing that ever happened to you. Otherwise they view you as public enemy number one. There is no middle ground.
Those of us who are indifferent, egalitarian, or are simply polite will be shunned.
Maybe this is a rather extreme view (do they really think like this?), but it does seem to explain what we observe.

That would be very bad. For moi.

 

[Sarsaparilla]

I can sympathise - I don't get on with people at work - I don't dislike most of them and for the most part I don't think they actively dislike me, but they don't like me either. I work in an open plan office and I just get overwhelmed with all the noise and different conversations going on, so I'm really quiet most of the time or I have headphones on. I can manage to be polite and to talk about work but that's just about it. I struggle to follow all the office banter and don't get a lot of the jokes. I also don't go on work nights out because I don't drink and they're always big groups of people all trying to talk louder than each other - it's just like more unpaid work to me. It means I get ignored and sidelined a lot which I hate, however I do a good job anyway which is what I'm there for. Some days are easier than others - I've spent too much time hiding in the toilet because the noise in the office is too much.