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Don't know why I'm so weird

Starflowerpower87

Starflowerpower87

Well-Known Member
It might be because of medication or caffeine. I'm not sure. I don't like doing anything when I'm home but listen to music and walk back and forth. I find walking back and forth to the music calms me down. In the evenings I listen to relaxing videos. But I don't like movies, video games or podcasts. I don't have any hobbies. I used to read and sketch. Used to love doing those things. But lately all I do when I'm home is listen to music and watch my relaxation videos. I go out and do things. But don't do much at home. I'm not sure why I'm like this. I can't concentrate on anything anymore. I wish I loved reading a lot because I think it's a good habit to have. Why the heck don't I like doing anything at home? I feel weird because other people do things at home and I do weird things like listen to music and walk back and forth.
 
I picked up listening to audiobooks when a back injury made standard reading very difficult. I not only continued but have increased the activity as it is something I can do lying down. But I have heard others say they listen while driving or doing things around the house. You can buy them and I have, but I found there are actually many free ones available online, on you tube, etc. Definately hundreds, probably thousands. Librivox is one online volunteer organization that produces free audibooks of books in the public domain.

Anyway, just an idea to broaden your options a bit.
 
We're all weird compared to everyone else, but that doesn't make us weird at all really, just look it perhaps to others.

In this case, listening to music and walking back and forth at the same time because it's calming is nothing more than a stimming activity, which everybody does, even neurotypicals, to some extent. That it is calming is exactly why it appeals.

A lack of interest in other things is cause for a bit of concern, because this can be an early sign of depression for example, but it could also indicate that there's a problem somewhat like overload that is applying pressure or unusually high levels of stress - or that something in the household changed and it's causing additional anxiety.

I must say too that I don't think it weird not to 'do stuff' at home, but there is a bit of a risk of becoming entrenched in patterns, routines and habits, and it can be a good thing to break out of those from time to time. That's when I pick something that's on my list of 'fun' things to do, and spend some time on that. Lately, it's been troubleshooting old computers or writing short stories because I have little skill at some of the more creative and artistic activities such as drawing or painting, but it could be cooking or even making home videos - much easier now that almost everyone has a smartphone to capture good quality video. When I was a bit younger, it was often darning holes in my socks or sewing on buttons, which I found very relaxing too, but these days that probably isn't anybody's thing to do!
 
Could you be burnt out and a bit exhausted by doing things outside and carrying on with daily life? The things you describe doing at home sound like recharge activities and sometimes, home is the only good spot to do them. Maybe you are expending more energy than you think when you are out of the house. Even emotional energy and brain power.

I feel the same way you described so often. Like today, a day off from work, instead of going out to do random adventure things, I kept getting drawn into my computer and my bedroom and listening to things. I finally got up the energy to sit outside on the porch with my computer and hope to edit some photographs, but that was about all the motivation I could muster for today.
 
Tom said:
I picked up listening to audiobooks when a back injury made standard reading very difficult. I not only continued but have increased the activity as it is something I can do lying down. But I have heard others say they listen while driving or doing things around the house. You can buy them and I have, but I found there are actually many free ones available online, on you tube, etc. Definately hundreds, probably thousands. Librivox is one online volunteer organization that produces free audibooks of books in the public domain.

Anyway, just an idea to broaden your options a bit.
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My local library has audiobook CDs. I will load them to a SD card to listen to them with my devices.
 
Sometimes l go through stages of unrest. Like nothing seems to help. So l start huge organization projects. There is something about organizing anything that tames the wild thing in my head running around like a caffeine junkie. Nothing shuts it down quicker. I remember meeting my step-father's mother who was a hoarder. When l got to her house as a tween, l immediately started straightening up her figurines. So is there something you like to do outside of music and pacing? I do agree, music can really help. Right now l am organizing my things, as soon my boyfriend will be moving in.
 
Short stories forgot about that. I used to like doing that too. It could be my mental illness that is making me not want to do things. Tried medication and therapy, didn’t help much. Indeed lately I’ve been feeling trapped. Had a bad experience in the mental hospital. I hate that I have to be part of the mental health system. Just wish I could be sane and healthy and happy. Yes that is probably why I don’t feel like doing anything when I get home. That’s when I have too much time to think. I’m not sure what could get me happy and motivated again. But yeah maybe if I try writing again. And audio books is a good idea.
 
I am comfortable in my weirdness. I have odd hobbies and enjoy myself with them. my friends are odd in their own ways, and I love them. Is it weird that I get out of my comfort zone to support my community and enjoy travel? Many here would be too anxious, but I want to grow and be thoroughly used up before I die.
 
Well I was up all night sketching. I couldn't sleep because of the hurricane. It took a freaking hurricane to get my creative juices flowing again. Don't know when I'll be motivated to draw again. Especially since I was hearing voices this morning. I was doing good not hearing voices but then I started listening to punk music and it made me start hearing them again. Which sucks because I like variety in my music. I'm sick of hearing the same songs on this one radio station I listen to. Alternative music doesn't bother me much. Anyone know some good online radio stations with lots of variety?
 
Have you tried the Pandora app? You tell it what you like and it will play for you other music that is similar. If you give it enough information, it can generate a wide mixture of music you like.

BTW, I’m pretty weird too.
 
WhitewaterWoman said:
BTW, I’m pretty weird too.
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Yep.

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