Doubting, I think...?!

[bchamp]

I've known her since she was 14, she's 19 now, I'm 20. I love her, I always have felt that way towards her. I mean, I don't know if she's really noticed but occasionally she will casually say "love ya" "i love you too" "babe". It's driving me crazy...

I know she's always had problems with guys, been abused as a kid sexually. She tells me she's not comfortable with intimacy, and always acts as if everything is okay. It's stressful at home for her, I know it. Dealing with divorced parents, moving, helping with her living situation at home, and taking care of kids.

I know often when I get into detail about my emotions, she might not say much back. It's usually the only time though. Other times she loves talking, and super happy to send me pictures of her new glasses, or a new pet she just got. We do only know each other online, and have planned to meet up eventually. At least I really do hope we do. We've never really fought, over anything.

I do, however get super jealous when she talks to her friends(Females, only). It's like the way they talk to each other is so much different. I know she is bisexual, so that throws me into question more. And I really don't like this one friend of hers. I just don't. I really feel right now I'm getting jealous, and doubting for no reason whatsoever. I feel dumb so dumb, and emotional for it. I know how things have gone for us over the years, I never officially talked to her about if we are even REALLY together. Even though it feels like it is.

I hate emotions so much, they are so confusing, I really wanted to hurt myself last night for no apparent reason. I think I'm just venting...

 

[Streetwise]

Don't start hurting yourself it doesn't work for depression and panic attacks
talk -talking therapy(its really cognitive behavioural therapy) is the best for that form of stress
I've got an eating disorder instead its another self medication of a group it doesn't work (strangely the area where panic originates physically is considered to be a second brain that is your intestines kidneys liver -but this brain does not have vision or hearing as parts so it won't be able to learn or have faith or hope

 

[Keigan]

Sit down and talk to her, express how you feel. Focus on what is known and feels good, not on assumptions.

Don't be concerned with her friends, that will change.

Don't be concerned about your perception of her sexuality, both will change meaning her sexuality and your perception.

 

[bchamp]

Sit down and talk to her, express how you feel. Focus on what is known and feels good, not on assumptions.

Don't be concerned with her friends, that will change.

Don't be concerned about your perception of her sexuality, both will change meaning her sexuality and your perception.

I'll be honest, since I posted this I've took time to think about everything, and calmed down. I realized it just wouldn't work, and focused more on what I'm going to do with my life. The opportunities for a real relationship will open sooner or later.

I really hate getting close to others. It always tends to be my roller coaster of emotions to screw things up.

 

[Keigan]

I'll be honest, since I posted this I've took time to think about everything, and calmed down. I realized it just wouldn't work, and focused more on what I'm going to do with my life. The opportunities for a real relationship will open sooner or later.

I really hate getting close to others. It always tends to be my roller coaster of emotions to screw things up.

Well, if you know that about yourself, and if you think that way; then you have things to work on.