Dress to impress?

[Fluttershy]

Some background info: I've been at my job for nearly 10 years, but I struggle moving up the ladder. I've been trying to get full time as I'm on my last year of my parents health insurance, and I really need insurance due to my medical problems. I'm a good worker and I've always gotten 100% on our evaluations, but I feel a little bit like I'm being taken advantage of. My manager keeps saying she'll try to get me full time, but my supervisor let it slip last night that my manager doesn't think I'm "professional" looking enough. I've only based how I dress off of my peers, and I didn't think I dressed particularly lax. I follow the dress code. we have coworkers that have full time that dress worse than I do. It feels like favoritism.
I'm not sure if I should bring up the random enforcement of rules to my manager, or just try to dress better.
If I do, what types of things should I wear? I struggle with comfort and looking nice, because we're on our feet a lot and I get cold easily, and being autistic, I don't like certain textures/feelings/stiffness of clothes. What types of things do you all wear to look professional while being comfortable?

 

[Streetwise]

i think about this equation change how you dress <>is it important enough is it worth it to you

 

[janie]

Possible approach:

Request meeting and reserve time to speak with your lead.

Begin meeting with several specific comments about your appreciation for the role you play, the organization and how you wish to deliver more value to team.

Request your lead's mentoring to identify things you do well that you may continue to maximize, as well as possible objectives that could make you a more valued team member and help you meet your goal of full time employment.

Receive the feedback in open, proactive manner, state your appreciation for lead's time and suggestions, and commit to careful reflection on the ideas discussed.

After contact, take notes on feedback, relevant developmental objectives identified, and consider pathways that help you target individual objectives with clear plan. (If commended for punctuality, not punctuality is recognized by your organization and commit to continue being on time; if professional appearance upgrade is brought up by lead, consider what adjustments you are comfortable initiating toward this communicated standard, etc.)

Send brief personal, handwritten note (or email, but people do notice when others take the time to pen words in their own hand) thanking lead for his/her time and expressing your appreciation for him/her mentoring you toward your goal of becoming a full-time team member. BRIEFLY, share specific plans you have to implement his/her feedback toward that outcome.

After an interval appropriate to your organization (3-6 weeks), follow up with lead to measure gains and gain insight on areas that will further promote your eligibility toward full-time position.

Managers more often than not are inundated by problems others present to them for relief or solution. Most genuinely enjoy mentoring proactive team members and helping them meet their goals.

Perhaps such an approach could help you make your manager an ally and detour any potential roadblocks observations about ambiguity in the dress code or possible favoritism could unintentionally introduce and direct the course of conversation toward securing the kind of work you are confident you are capable of giving and want.

 

[WereBear]

I would just ask them what they mean. If they cannot say what they mean, like "no sweatshirts" or whatever, then it is an excuse for something else.

 

[Datura]

I would try modeling my dress not after those who hold the same position as myself, but those the next level up. So look at what the supervisors wear in your company and model your dress after that.

You could also come right out and ask your manager how you might improve your professional appearance. They will likely appreciate the initiative, especially if you act on their advice. Doing some research on professional dress might also help.

I could also rant about how trivial and superficial I think people are and how none of this should even be an issue, but I doubt that would help.

 

[Ambi]

I would ask them for specifics if you truly feel you dress the same as your peers.....of course, if those peers are also part-time, and not getting promoted to full-time, you'll need to dress better. As for the full-timers who are more lax, I'm sure management doesn't like it but isn't dealing with it. People will sometimes slip and "relax" more once they have reached the status they wanted. I have found dressing better has been such a useful tool in the NT world, the usefulness got me hooked (though I am still not super fashionable or anything, but I look MUCH better put together than I used to).

Maybe this is useless info or too specific for this post....but for me, for example, the hardest part to accommodate was my feet. My feet are very fussy - they get uncomfortable in most shoes other than flip flops or sneakers. I finally found ONE brand of nicer shoes that is quite comfortable for my feet, and that has made a huge difference - they are called Cobb Hill, they used to be made by New Balance, now I think they are made by Rockport. I think soft clothes are more widespread and easier to find - I often shop Land's End or Kohl's, sales stuff. But I think the most important part of looking professional is to 1) make sure the clothes fit your body very well; 2) make sure they are in good condition; 3) make sure your shoes and your bag give whatever impression it is that you want (these really make a huge difference in a very easy way - even if your clothes are not the greatest, the shoes and bag make a huge difference, and likewise, if these are shoddy, it will ruin the entire outfit regardless); 4) find someone who can give you a really nice haircut - easy to maintain, but professional. Not sure if you needed that advice, I'm not trying to say you didn't already know those things - I'm just doing that Aspie monologue thing because I am really interested in this subject. Well, kind of. I'm interested in its usefulness in the NT world - an easily controllable method of nonverbal communication that makes my life easier.

Anyway, if you step up your clothing game and the STILL don't promote you, you know what's really happening, you can leave if you want, and you look good enough to land another or even better job!

 

[WereBear]

My work requirements for clothes are some form of "business casual." In winter, that is corduroy pants and sweaters. In summer, skirts below the knee, or pants of lightweight cotton fabric, with modest tops with sleeves and a higher neck.

I have learned some simple things that may help:

• no jeans - many bosses have an irrational hatred of wearing what amounts to blue cotton pants in my mind, but it says "I'm a bricklayer" to other minds
• coordinate - the difference between professional and sloppy can be as simple as how well the different pieces match in color, style, fabric
• accessorize - matching my earrings and my socks to my outfit does wonders
• scrubs - in this case, with personal care, the latest in nursewear is colorful, comfortable, and pre-coordinated with tops and bottoms

 

[nope]

For women, sometimes it's not limited to the clothing you wear. When people think of a "professional" career woman, they also think of a woman who wears makeup, high heels, gets her eyebrows/hair professionally done, and maybe wears (professionally done) nail polish.

I'm older than you and I've considered changing my appearance to fit into what most people think "professional," but in my experience if that's just not who you are over time you will relapse and go back to your usual look. Also, unless you're aiming for a managerial position (which you're not), it's ridiculous for anyone to expect you to dress like one just so you can get a full-time position. If possible, my suggestion would be to find another company that will appreciate you as an asset.

 

[nope]

I would just ask them what they mean. If they cannot say what they mean, like "no sweatshirts" or whatever, then it is an excuse for something else.

I agree with this.

 

[Naturalist]

At one time, I wore suits so that people would take me seriously. It was miserable. Now, I buy a lot of my clothes at Goodwill and constantly get positive comments from co-workers. I look for good quality items that are in good condition, and don't hesitate to layer, alter or modify them as needed to make them comfortable and up-to-date. I wear layered skirts in various lengths (2 or 3 skirts at a time, often ruffled or tiered, in coordinating colors or patterns); soft t-shirts with a scoop neck (but not revealing) and lots of added details so they don't look like weekend wear; and soft textured sweaters. All natural fibers that are easy to wash. I wear stylish but supportive boots most days, and keep ballet flats in my office if we have a meeting. In many professions, it's acceptable to wear odd clothes if you look like an artist who does it deliberately. I search Pinterest for looks I like and make notes about why I like them.

 

[Keigan]

I'm not sure if I should bring up the random enforcement of rules to my manager, or just try to dress better.

No, you should not bring up 'random enforcement"..... do you know why?

In my opinion dress comfortably, ellequently, conservatively - for your reasons, above and beyond your peers if you want to be noticed for your dress - which is a part of your overall presence. It is your presence that you truly want noticed, which means your actions, dress, speaking, attitude and influence must lead by example.

 

[Keigan]

What type of work do you do?

 

[Keigan]

My work requirements for clothes are some form of "business casual." In winter, that is corduroy pants and sweaters. In summer, skirts below the knee, or pants of lightweight cotton fabric, with modest tops with sleeves and a higher neck.

I have learned some simple things that may help:

• no jeans - many bosses have an irrational hatred of wearing what amounts to blue cotton pants in my mind, but it says "I'm a bricklayer" to other minds
• coordinate - the difference between professional and sloppy can be as simple as how well the different pieces match in color, style, fabric
• accessorize - matching my earrings and my socks to my outfit does wonders
• scrubs - in this case, with personal care, the latest in nursewear is colorful, comfortable, and pre-coordinated with tops and bottoms

This is an excellent approach, you have simple and straight forward guidelines that are easy to implement.

If you really want to get noticed or stand out - iron the clothing closest to your face, that shows self-discipline and respect for self as well as others who have self-discipline. It only takes 10 minutes investment of time each workday, yet it has compounding returns in compliments and smiles.