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"Drive" or "The lack of ambition"

LillBeanSprout

LillBeanSprout

Active Member
I am what I like to call a simple girl. Clean and tidy, I don't bother anyone with small things. If I need something, I go get it myself. When I was a kid, I could play alone for hours.
Although not raised to be a housewife, I learned to cook. I actually like it. I am happy with simple things: a good home meal, a walk on the beach, a stroll in the park, a good book, fresh bedsheets. I'm not crazy about clothes (if it were for me alone, I would 5 or 6 outfits in my wardrobe and 2 pairs of shoes).
Is it that I lack ambition? I wouldn't mind having a better car, but mine works so that's fine. I would like a better house but there's so much potencial to explore in this one yet. I would like a better job, but I need to keep mine until I find (or start) a better one. I enjoy the things I own. I'm not driven by an urge to change the world or make a significant contribution to mankind or being the first to make a trillion in a year. If somebody puts soup or salad in front of me, it's fine. I like both.
I have been thinking about a therapy session where the issue was this: the fact I am ok with almost everyhing. I have no anger, I don't rebel. I think of it as being flexible. It was pointed as a deficit, meaning I do not enforce my choices to avoid conflict and change, resulting in a kind of a grey personality.
Although there is nothing wrong with simple, I am supposed to work on this, due to avoidance issues.
Anyone gone through something similar? ...
 
I think that makes perfect sense, if YOU are happy thats all that matters. :) Who cares if others don't get you, you are meant to be who you want to be. Don't be forced into a mold of conformity.
 
Is there anything that you want but decide not to pursue because it could bother other people? If that's not the case then there is no way there's a problem with you, it's actually awesome that you can be easily satisfied.

In my case it's kinda like this too, I'm happy with what I have, but I still have a lot of things I have to get done. I have a boyfriend whom I love very much and he needs me to become a responsible adult, wich I'm not really. Also I don't want to be a burden to my parents so I have to become more autonomous. I have zero ambitions though, my only motivations (to do productive things) are to make the people I love happy, while of course still being happy. Without them I wouldn't move foward, and even now I'm really slow at it...
 
I'm sure there are probably people who would say that what you describe is lack of drive or ambition, but they are more than likely the sort of people who always feel they have to strive for the best of everything (car/house/job/money/etc)....purely so others can see how great their life is and how well they've done for themselves.

I would agree with @StephF, so long as you are happy with your life and the way things are, then to hell with anyone else's opinions.
 
Contentment with what you have isn't a crime.

Every time I have tacos for a meal I am thankful for "the small things in life". :)

Besides, I never much cared for lobster anyways. :p
 
There's not too much wrong with just being content. Sure you might lack ambition - I'm like that myself, but it shows that you're happy with your life which some people prefer, rather than people who always wants something different and can't settle down.

It's good to have a balance of ambition and contentment but it's not wrong either. What matters is if you're happy with how things are.
 
I also lack ambition and drive. I believe the reason lies in contentment. I'm satisfied with the life that under-achieving has gotten me. I have tons of potential, but that's all I've ever been - potential. I want to want more, but I just don't. I've been trying to cultivate ambition for a while with no luck. Oh well, I guess I'm fine with that.
 
I used to think I was not ambitious. But it turns out I was instinctively holding myself back because I was on the verge of exhaustion.

Now that I have been diagnosed and working on coping strategies: it is different.
 
Thank you all for sharing your insights :)
Did someone ever tell you that you had potencial - like a gift for numbers, drawing, writing or similar - and questioned you or pushed to pursue higher goals?...
 
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