Dueling Clichés / Contradictory Advice

[KassieMac]

Subtitled: "If we do as we're told, they'll still find a way to blame us"

"Learn to love yourself"
"Self-acceptance is key to happiness"
"Follow your heart"

quickly becomes:

"If you follow the rules in this book everything will be fine."
… and
"You have a disability, but we can teach you to appear normal."

 

[Judge]

"Reports that say there's -- that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know."

- Donald Rumsfeld

 

[KassieMac]

"Reports that say there's -- that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know."

- Donald Rumsfeld

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Wait, what??

(And they say we try to sound intelligent?)

 

[gonzerd]

"Reports that say there's -- that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things that we know that we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don't know we don't know."

- Donald Rumsfeld

The above must be exactly the kind of thing George Orwell had in mind when he gave us this quote:

"Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind."

 

[KassieMac]

This entire article is a perfect example of why I started this thread. Know-it-all's and people who won't even try to understand us throw us a trite, over-used cliché; when it doesn't work or if we question it, they just do a complete 180° and throw us another trite, over-used cliché that states the exact opposite. We're supposed to figure out where in the middle we should actually be ... but if we could figure that out ourselves, we wouldn't be going to those people for help in the first place! Then they use the fact that they covered both extremes to blame us for not finding the appropriate middle-ground. Ugh. Trite, poorly-thought-out clichés are just a thinly veiled attempt to get us to go away ... to stop bothering them by asking legitimate questions or asking for help ... because they refuse to admit that they're clueless and can't be bothered with us.

Here it is, be prepared to either laugh or cry ... or both. Click!

 

[Tarragon]

Wow!!!! I got as far as what you are supposed to say to a bully to get him to go away - and in really it will provoke a good kicking for it!!!

What a pile of (quote) camel dung this article is. Patronising? It isn't worth the ink is isn't printed on. Waste of my pixels on my screen

Who the hell wrote this garbage?

 

[KassieMac]

Wow!!!! I got as far as what you are supposed to say to a bully to get him to go away - and in really it will provoke a good kicking for it!!!

What a pile of (quote) camel dung this article is. Patronising? It isn't worth the ink is isn't printed on. Waste of my pixels on my screen

Who the hell wrote this garbage?

Sad thing is, dude claims to be an Aspie. The blog pretends to explain what it feels like to us … but it's just a repeat of all the worthless, careless, and actually harmful advice I've heard from my NT family … teachers … supervisors & managers all my life. I'm certainly no expert on how to deal with bullies, but I AM an expert on what DOESN'T work. 45 years of intense study & research, testing every method he's listed and dozens more. I'm fed up with being blamed for the behavior of jerks … I'm fed up with being blamed because the 'adults' & 'people in charge' are too frikkin scared of the bullies to take them on themselves … and I'm fed up with being expected to take antidepressants & anti-anxiety meds to tolerate being abused like this because society wants to continue enabling this BS!

And the 'professionals' I'm sent to for 'help'? They pretend they don't understand why I want to leave this life. The truth is, they can't continue living on top of the heap if there aren't people like me to stand on … and sit on … and $**t on.

Did you see the bit in the comments where someone called him out for contradicting himself? He actually stated that whole 'walking a fine line' BS. Can you say 'NOT HELPFUL'??

I posted a comment on the article, but he 'moderates' comments … so I don't expect it to ever show up. Ugh! I really wish the people who dismiss everything I say would stop proving all my points.

(And they say WE lack empathy??)

 

[KassieMac]

I found myself writing this on a different thread, but it strongly applies here too:

My therapist used to tell me that I needed to learn to love myself, and I replied that I don't ... I can't ... I actually find myself quite annoying. Now that I know I'm an Aspie I am learning to love myself, and she's giving me books on learning to fit in. Pfffffttttt!!!

 

[Judge]

My therapist used to tell me that I needed to learn to love myself, and I replied that I don't ... I can't ... I actually find myself quite annoying. Now that I know I'm an Aspie I am learning to love myself, and she's giving me books on learning to fit in. Pfffffttttt!!!

Sometimes "fitting in" is overrated. A Rod Serling metaphor? Hmmmm.

 

[KassieMac]

Sometimes "fitting in" is overrated. A Rod Serling metaphor? Hmmmm.

I should've known not to watch that … The Twilight Zone always gave me nightmares. Maybe I'll send it to my therapist!!

 

[KassieMac]

"You really need to let go, stop dwelling on such negativity"

and then

"I need to know exactly what happened, I need specific details. No? Well I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding, then, so they obviously didn't actually harass you."

 

[KassieMac]

"Embrace the 12 steps, accept that you are powerless."

… then

"My goal is to help you feel empowered."

Wait … what??

 

[dragonwolf]

"Embrace the 12 steps, accept that you are powerless."

… then

"My goal is to help you feel empowered."

Wait … what??

This one's actually an interesting concept to wrap one's head around. A lot of people actually enjoy submitting to someone else, and it can empower them in other areas of their life if they can relinquish control in at least one aspect. So being able to say "I need help, I can't do this alone" can, in fact, be the thing needed to overcome the given obstacle, and can help a person realize that asking for help is not a failure.

 

[KassieMac]

Been there, done that. I know the 12 Steps. I wasted a few years there when my 'professionals' were trying to fit this 'square peg' into a 12-Step-shaped hole. The 'professionals' could've been trying to understand me and get to the root of my issues (bias & lack of acceptance due to Aspergers), but "When you're a hammer everything looks like a nail" … and my therapist is a recovering addict. She was projecting her own issues on me in the guise of 'helping'.

 

[dragonwolf]

Been there, done that. I know the 12 Steps. I wasted a few years there when my 'professionals' were trying to fit this 'square peg' into a 12-Step-shaped hole. The 'professionals' could've been trying to understand me and get to the root of my issues (bias & lack of acceptance due to Aspergers), but "When you're a hammer everything looks like a nail" … and my therapist is a recovering addict. She was projecting her own issues on me in the guise of 'helping'.

Yeah, that's a different thing altogether.

 

[KassieMac]

Yeah, that's a different thing altogether.

The story behind that post is this: my therapist and I both realize that we've made very little progress in the six years we've been working together, and that my Aspie-epiphany is already helping things a great deal. I was commenting on why that is ... that the standard mode of therapy is to try to make the person feel better (lift their emotions), but my depression & anxiety are based on facts and simple math so lifting my spirits doesn't help. That seems (to me) an Aspie-like trait, we tend to focus more on the tangible and less on emotions. When I said "help people feel better" she 'corrected' me to "help people feel empowered", which led me to a slight tangent ... it's in my nature to do absolutely everything in my power before I ask for help, so again, I don't need to feel better, I need help navigating with the world.

Later, I was replaying the conversation in my head (as one does) and the irony occurred to me: on my very first visit to this therapist she pronounced me to be an adult child of alcoholics and insisted that I start going to al-anon meetings. The first thing I heard at al-anon is ... you guessed it ... accept that I am powerless. So this was her way to 'make [me] feel empowered'? It doesn't fit, it doesn't make sense, which is the whole point of this thread. People who don't understand throw some useless advice at us and run away. If we come back and report that it didn't work, their response is to throw completely contradictory (also useless) advice at us and run away faster. When I call them on it, they throw up a BS excuse (and get hostile & defensive). If I question their reasoning, they throw up a completely contradictory (also BS) excuse (and get even more hostile & defensive).

And yet no one understands why I don't want to leave the house ...

 

[Judge]

but my depression & anxiety are based on facts and simple math so lifting my spirits doesn't help. That seems (to me) an Aspie-like trait, we tend to focus more on the tangible and less on emotions.

I soooooooooooooooooo get that. That's my predicament as well. Facts and math...absolutely. That they are simply beyond any attitude adjustments that someone might suggest to us.