Educational restrictions

[Naruto Kurosaki]

Just to remind those that don't know, I am 21 years old and from the UK.

Ever since my breakdown that I mentioned at the end of my blog entry, I was taught from behind my bedroom door with the help of two home and hospital tutors until just 2-3 years ago. It was really successful and I was able to focus on my work and didn't have to worry about other people's eyes on me. I could concentrate and even open up a little easier because I had that barrier that I needed, especially after the breakdown I had following the head of year's lack of understanding of those on the spectrum. I passed several exams in one year when they should have been two years in length, and I also passed a photography course with a distinction and a web designing course with a merit.

My speech and language therapist, (SALT), was also acting as the invigilator for my exams, I was in the living room, and the SALT had her back to me and my mother was allowed to be present. That was successful and as I said that I passed several GCSE courses in one year when it should have been two years.

The reason why it stopped was because my statement of special educational needs ended and a connexions advisor (someone that should support young people into further education or into employment, depending upon what the students would like to do), wanted us to sign this 139a assessment document. On this link it describes what a 139a assessment document is in case you're not familiar with it: A Guide to your Entitlement to a Section 139a Learning Difficulty Assessment ? Y-Gen. Anyway, there were many inaccuracies in this document, and because of that my mother tried to get a solicitor with legal aid to help sort the document out. Unfortunately, the solicitor included a service in the document that both my mother and I don't trust. I even wrote to the solicitor, twice, challenging her on the issue, but instead of seeing what I was talking about from my perspective, she writes to my mother to try to convince me to trust this untrustworthy service!

In regards to the different forms of education, I've thought of all the forms I can and considered if I could try them. The problem is, a college and university are out of the question for obvious reasons, as not only the interview would remind me of my breakdown at school, but being surrounded by so many people would feel claustrophobic and a constant reminder of school as well. Something else I couldn't do is go to a residential school, I do not wish to be away from home, I couldn't cope with that. I find it bad enough trying to cope as it is, but considering I have sensory issues and OCD, to be placed into an unknown environment with other students and expect to cope with everyday life tasks, you must be joking, :unsure:. No amount of training could teach me how to cope with that, it would be a nightmare.

In spite of that, I've even tried distance learning courses. I've experienced the course with one of my two home and hospital tutors outside my bedroom door and when my statement of special educational needs ended, he stopped coming, and only came once a month or so to check how I was doing with my web designing course (I had to set up a website). My home and hospital tutor wasn't even trained in web designing, so I was restricted by what those two home and hospital tutors could teach me. As one of my home and hospital tutors was untrained in web designing, a professional web designer came in to teach me from behind my bedroom door only briefly and then he had to go home as he was quite a distance away from our house. Anyway, he was about to teach me more about CSS coding, but when the statement ended, he stopped coming. My website wasn't completed, but everyone left, I could only email the professional web designer and wait until my home and hospital tutor came around to check how it was going. As the course was distance learning, there was a main course tutor. I sent my website to him to show how it was looking so far, but he couldn't open it, there was an error. I sent it to the professional web designer, but he could open it. I was stuck, one side could see my website, but the other side couldn't. I kept writing to the professional web designer to find out what was wrong and how it could be fixed. Everything he suggested didn't work, and in the meantime my website wasn't finished. I hadn't included the CSS coding. It took me many months to get the website in a state that the main course tutor could see, and in the meantime I was drained of energy. I was so fed up with it all that I just wanted to send the coursework off and have done with. What made me feel horrible was when the results came back, it said something about it would be better if I'd put CSS coding on my website. I was thinking, "Yeah, but whose fault is that?!? I was tired out because of that mistranslation for several months. I had no choice". Anyway, that's why I think distance learning wouldn't work either. I couldn't go to examination halls as I couldn't face being among many other people with a paper in front of me, it would affect my concentration levels, and again would be a reminder of school, :unsure:.

As distance learning courses were difficult due to mistranslation, I'd need someone in physical form outside my bedroom door to give direct questions to and get direct answers from, but who will teach me now that my statement of special educational needs has ended. I have even contemplated accepting a tutor at home without my bedroom door, even though I know it would hamper my concentration levels if it meant that it would make a few more tutors a little bit more comfortable teaching me at home. What I am worried about though, is if I do open my bedroom door to them, would the Local Authority around us push me into a college against my will? They have been adamant to get me into a college for a long time and I worry the minute I make a move, my world would come crashing down and I'd be forced into a setting that would most likely cause me an emotional breakdown within the first few steps.

I suppose my question would be, is there a way I can learn that doesn't affect any of the above difficulties I have? I can already see some of your answers in my head. "No, you can't learn unless you were to try distance learning courses and attended an examination hall", or, "You have to try to make a move to go out there and try little steps", :unsure:.

 

[Soup]

Hi Naruto: I read every word of your blog. You sure have faced many challenges & found ways around your limitations! Learning through the door is a grand idea & one that, as a teacher, I'll bear in ind in case it may help another student. It is also good for kids who are out sick from school for prolonged periods.

There are many colleges now who offer entire programmes entirely online & there are careers you can build for yourself working online from a home office. Right now, I'm in our home office with my husband's clinic schedule & office phone doing office management- which frees up more time for him to focus on his patients without distractions. Choose an online university & select a programme that will enable you to work within your comfort zone. The exams are all online & you upload & submit work digitally. When I did my B ed degree, there were a few classes I could take online (some electives & some core courses). I did my chemistry class & an anthro class entirely online. Never had to go anywhere, see anyone or talk to anyone. There was also a tech class I did online too! No having to drive through traffic, find parking or deal with crowds.

The 'baby steps' thing is something I did myself & agree with. Not that Aspies should be shoved headlong into the NT world...but maximizing your autonomy is a good thing. Slowly. That way, you won't find yourself huddled behind a door anxious & melting down, afraid to go out & unable to care for yourself when you're in your 40s.

Fortunately, today's increasingly digital world is opening up a wealth of opportunities for solitary Aspies like yourself. You can definitely find your niche & succeed.

 

[Naruto Kurosaki]

Hi Soup

Thank you for your reply, .

Learning from behind my bedroom door was of great help to me, but since my statement ended and they wanted me to sign this inaccurate document, and we couldn't as it was wrong, they've left us! I am left with nothing and no one's come to help me at all, they promised they would but they haven't fulfilled their promises to my mother and I. Again, that proves just how caring the society in the UK is, because they aren't. If they were I would have been helped, they would have provided me with the support needed to have as much a fulfilling life as possible within what I could cope with, but they didn't. Why didn't they? Well, that's a question both my mother and I would like to know, >.<.

Anyway, I had to learn from behind my bedroom door, I had no choice, the affect that P.E. teacher had on me tipped me over the edge. I'd had enough after being bullied countless times, I was struggling enough as it was, I didn't need the head of year interrogating me in the middle of the gym hall with those two classes. That was too much for me to bear. I couldn't take anymore after that, therefore I shut my bedroom door off to the authority and learnt in the way I felt most comfortable because my trust in the system went right down to 0%. I had to learn that way as I didn't want to be hurt again, and I felt if I came out of my bedroom door I'd be catapulted right back into that system where they'd take no notice of my difficulties and ridicule you for it like my bullies had. I am all too aware what's out there for what happened to me at school is just one step away from the outside world as a whole. I keep looking at the outside world and see an overgrown school in front of my eyes. You have the head teacher, head of year, principle as the prime minister or president, the teacher as our bosses, co-workers as the neutrals or bullies, and prison is like you're overgrown version of detention. I am too aware that life is just an intensified, but maybe more complicated, version of school life.

On this video below, it's about a mother called Polly Tommey with a son with autism. She describes the lack of support for those on the spectrum in the UK in education as well as in employment. Just goes to show you how stuck people like me are in the UK. This is why I am searching the internet for help and support because over here in the UK, if you're as restricted as I am, then help is a very rare thing indeed.

I knew there were online courses I could try, but I didn't know that you didn't have to attend an examination hall to do them. I also wanted to find courses that were more open ended allowing me the time to complete them. I need to be able to ask direct questions and get direct answers as I'd need that support as the courses may become difficult at times, it's finding a way to communicate that I find comfortable that's the problem, >.<.

I know you're not from the UK, but considering that I'm always looking for more options, if I could cope with them, >.<, then I was curious as to what websites I could take these online courses from. I am at a loss as to what to do, and if you know of any websites that I could learn from home, with no time restrictions, I don't have to see anyone face-to-face, without having to use a phone, and I don't have to take an exam in an examination hall, then I would be interested in learning more about this. What websites could you recommend for someone living in the UK?

I am interested in various subjects, some more straightforward, others less so, >.<. Anyway, I'd like to redo my IT as computing has been my favourite subject growing up, but I failed do to one of my home and hospital tutors not setting out my coursework properly, >.<. I'd also like to learn how to repair/fix and upgrade my own computer, so I'd like to be able to try a computer maintenance course as well. I've been really interested in computers since my father got me a computer back when I was 8 years old. Ever since then I've been exploring the computer and wanting to learn more about what I can do on it. That's what led me to web designing where I got a merit, and I hope to try computer maintenance as well. I'd also like to learn more about Adobe Photoshop so that I can use it to the best of my ability with my photographs. These are just the starting points, I may want to expand or develop some other skills or develop my current skills in photography. Anyway, the other subjects I'd like to learn, in a sense are more leisurely as I'd love to learn an instrument, perhaps a violin or keyboard, and learn Japanese. I realise that those last couple of subjects are not in the mainstream, but I do have a passion for both. As I said in my introduction, I love Japanese culture, and I also love the game and anime music, I'd love to be able to play some of the songs. Please could I ask you if you know of any websites that I could try that allow me to learn some of these subjects, and still be within my capability range?

Whatever the case, I knew that education would be a difficult subject for me to bring up, especially since I am restricted in the way I am, but I am constantly on the lookout for something I can cope with. Taking 'baby steps' into the outside world, yeah, I had a feeling you'd say that, not that I disagree and I've heard it being said before, there's just one problem with that theory that I'm all too aware of. I think that with the corruption out there in this country alone and with the honesty I had at school, I'd probably have no chance before I'd even begun. I try to be as honest and caring as I can be, but I am all too aware that bullies are not just in school, but in the rest of life as well. Being genuine, caring and honest in this country alone is not something that is accepted with open arms, as I've experienced at school. Too often was I surrounded by those uncaring that just wanted to bully those that were different to satisfy themselves. In a sense, you could say that the bullies of school don't necessarily grow up, maybe some do, but others could grow up to become corrupt politicians, co-workers that are just out for advancing themselves and kicking everyone else down, or corrupt bosses. I know that my aunt has had to deal with her own share of corrupted co-workers and boss, so how could I be any different in education alone? I'm not saying that that's the case everywhere, but I am saying that the understanding of those on the spectrum in this country is dismal at best. Maybe it's different in other parts of the world, and I think it is for America. I think there is a lot more help for those on the spectrum in America than there is in the UK. For me to succeed out there, I'd need to find a more caring and understanding society than the one that is out there. Too many are the people that take no notice of the difficulties you're facing, too many are the people that would rather use you to advance in their jobs rather than help and support you. I am all too aware how cruel this country can be, and I haven't even stepped out of my comfort zone to see it, I don't necessarily have to, I've witnessed enough at school to tell me what the rest of the country is like.

Yes, the digital age is developing, but in some senses, I don't know where I could go to find my path in life. We are unfortunately on benefits at the moment and the government is also targeting us as I explained in my reply to one of Geordie's blogs. Here is the link: http://www.aspiescentral.com/blogs/geordie/881-trying-build-better-autism-community-together.html. My mother is also now receiving a pension. My mother is looking for support every day but is getting nowhere as the local authority don't want to know as they don't understand those on spectrum, especially myself because of the position I'm in.

 

[Soup]

Thanks for another excellent post, Naruto. You are clearly very articulate, highly intelligent & keenly aware of your needs & limitations & strengths but seem to lack the support to maximize the impact of all the abilities you do have. I'm in QC Canada & there is considerably more support available & less red tape when it comes to accessing it. A few years ago here, a mother of an Autistic child killed her son in sheer frustration & exhaustion & hopelessness & attempted to take her own life. Her moving story swayed many authorities & raised much awareness for Spectrum families in crisis. Subsequently, many changes were implemented but, of course, much more needs to be done.

I'm really glad you found this forum as there are many UK members here & you are amongst kindred spirits. Some people are ore extroverted whereas others are more like you. I am a decidedly solitary Aspie. Several people here have managed to function quite well in society despite & because of their Spectrum traits.

This woman, Polly Tommey is a well known advocate & if any organization in the UK can help you, it is hers. Here is a link to her site & her contact info is there too. Please contact her right away & tell her everything you told us as well as the fact that you'd like to pursue higher education. There ARE ways to do this. The Autism Trust - The Autism Trust?s Goal and Objectives . Please do not lose touch with the forum here & let us know what she says.

 

[Geordie]

As for me, I used to do iTunes U and MIT OpenCourseWare to keep up with my interests. I don't mind re-doing self-taught online courses if I have absolutely no jobs to do, which, hopefully, does not happen.

The good thing about IT is, some things can be self-taught, from what I know. Just do whatever you find. It is hard to stay disciplined. If so... So be it.

Just focus on one issue, one problem at a time, that you really want to explore.

Then it will all be good!

 

[tridianprime]

Hi naruto, I'm new here and I'm from the UK also. My childhood was hell and I understand what you mean by lack of support. My solution was to a baron myself with my interest and forget what everyone else said was important. I used to use ITunes U also and MIT OCW for mathematics and physics. I don't know about your situation but how about looking there for some courses. I think yale or Stamford does has produced a series of web design lectures. If you want to learn PHP, which is useful for web design, id suggest thenewboston on youtube and he also I believe does some web design but correct me if I'm wrong there.