Emotions

[richbebo]

All my life i have found this particular subject pretty hard, the fact that i just cant seem to show any sort of emotion. I have on very rare occasions shown a tiny bit though but that is through really trying to force myself. I often wonder why people find it so easy and i so hard. For instance i just dont cry (and no that bit on I Am Legend where the main character has to kill his own dog did nothing for me) so people say i'm insensitive, but i can actually feel really sad sometimes and not shed a single tear and that is the worst part because no one can actually tell when i'm really down. Anger is very hard, for instance things that have happened to me regarding ex's have given me every right to get extremely pissed off but for some strange reason i am suprisingly ok with it most of the time. People tell me i should be fuming but i'm always saying whats the point of getting angry. I see my brothers putting holes through doors over things like that but i just cant find it in me too get that angry. I also dont like being around people when they are emotional i'm the type of person that tries to defuse outbreaks as soon as possible by turning everything into a joke. In other people's eyes life is just a joke to me because i avoid the serious subjects because what i fear they might turn into. If someone starts crying i feel obligated to do something but at the same time dunno what to do. Laughter is another thing, i can find the humor in alot of jokes without battering an eyelid but tbh the only thing that really makes me laugh is humor on the same lines as jackass, i saw this guy jump from a trampoline into a ceiling fan and my sides split. Who else has these problems ?

 

[chinaberry]

God! You've just put everything into words! I'll write a proper post when i'm on my laptop, this is v fiddly, but you say it all in that.

 

[RooRoo]

All my life i have found this particular subject pretty hard, the fact that i just cant seem to show any sort of emotion. I have on very rare occasions shown a tiny bit though but that is through really trying to force myself. I often wonder why people find it so easy and i so hard. For instance i just dont cry (and no that bit on I Am Legend where the main character has to kill his own dog did nothing for me) so people say i'm insensitive, but i can actually feel really sad sometimes and not shed a single tear and that is the worst part because no one can actually tell when i'm really down. Anger is very hard, for instance things that have happened to me regarding ex's have given me every right to get extremely pissed off but for some strange reason i am suprisingly ok with it most of the time. People tell me i should be fuming but i'm always saying whats the point of getting angry. I see my brothers putting holes through doors over things like that but i just cant find it in me too get that angry. I also dont like being around people when they are emotional i'm the type of person that tries to defuse outbreaks as soon as possible by turning everything into a joke. In other people's eyes life is just a joke to me because i avoid the serious subjects because what i fear they might turn into. If someone starts crying i feel obligated to do something but at the same time dunno what to do. Laughter is another thing, i can find the humor in alot of jokes without battering an eyelid but tbh the only thing that really makes me laugh is humor on the same lines as jackass, i saw this guy jump from a trampoline into a ceiling fan and my sides split. Who else has these problems ?

i don't show much emotion at all and when i do my emotions are all messed up i cry when im mad my happy is very quiet like oh whatever .. and the only time i get mad is when im frustrated which is the only emotion i have that actually fits i think.

 

[Sean2222]

i don't show much emotion at all and when i do my emotions are all messed up i cry when im mad my happy is very quiet like oh whatever .. and the only time i get mad is when im frustrated which is the only emotion i have that actually fits i think.

I'm the opposite. I am extremely emotional and may not be able to convey things right with facial expressions sometimes, but I definitely am on the extreme end of sensitivity. I am very self aware and also aware of others. I do find myself being more emotional than even many nt's. Some of them are easier to express than others. But many times I lose control of them and that isn't entirely fun for me. It may be the scorpio in me but I always find my emotions (and idealistic innocence) overriding my logic and sensibility. Which makes my feelings and decisions really impulsive at times. But it's me and I wouldn't have it any other way

-sean-

 

[krisi]

I'm the opposite. I am extremely emotional and may not be able to convey things right with facial expressions sometimes, but I definitely am on the extreme end of sensitivity. I am very self aware and also aware of others. I do find myself being more emotional than even many nt's. Some of them are easier to express than others. But many times I lose control of them and that isn't entirely fun for me. It may be the scorpio in me but I always find my emotions (and idealistic innocence) overriding my logic and sensibility. Which makes my feelings and decisions really impulsive at times. But it's me and I wouldn't have it any other way

-sean-

This actually describes me completely. I'm not very good at matching my facial expression to my emotions, but I am very emotional, and I cry freqently. However, I often don't know how to verbalize negative emotions, so nobody outside of me knows what's going on inside my head. Also, making matters worse, I often get upset about something because it triggers something else in my mind, so even if I am able to communicate what's wrong, it doesn't make sense to the other person. Also, in a "not-so-autistic" fashion, I am pretty good at empathizing with others. I mean, sometimes it's pretty obvious when someone says they're okay and they're not (although I am guilty of this, too), or when they are clearly avoiding the question you've asked. Maybe it's not a skill, maybe I just lack the social skills to "politely ignore" what they're doing.

I also really struggle with controlling my emotions. Sometimes I feel so overwhelemed that I just shut down and often stop talking--not because I want to, but because I can't find the words to say what I want to say. It's like someone shuts a sliding glass door in front of me, so I can see and understand everything that's going on, but I can't participate in it.

Nerd by Default, I can definitely relate to feeling sad and not being able to shed a tear with others, so people think there's nothing wrong, or that I'm just shutting down for no reason. A lot of times, my emotions come sort of "delayed", so there's no apparent antecedent to my shut-down behavior. People get really frustrated with me (I just wrote a whole topic on it...) Like you, I also don't get angry very often. I also just don't see the point. I get scared, I get upset, I get sad, but it's pretty rare that I get angry, and when I do, I usually turn it on myself and get upset with myself instead of whatever was the event (or person) that may have actually caused the anger.

 

[Sean2222]

This actually describes me completely. I'm not very good at matching my facial expression to my emotions, but I am very emotional, and I cry freqently. However, I often don't know how to verbalize negative emotions, so nobody outside of me knows what's going on inside my head. Also, making matters worse, I often get upset about something because it triggers something else in my mind, so even if I am able to communicate what's wrong, it doesn't make sense to the other person. Also, in a "not-so-autistic" fashion, I am pretty good at empathizing with others. I mean, sometimes it's pretty obvious when someone says they're okay and they're not (although I am guilty of this, too), or when they are clearly avoiding the question you've asked. Maybe it's not a skill, maybe I just lack the social skills to "politely ignore" what they're doing.

I also really struggle with controlling my emotions. Sometimes I feel so overwhelemed that I just shut down and often stop talking--not because I want to, but because I can't find the words to say what I want to say. It's like someone shuts a sliding glass door in front of me, so I can see and understand everything that's going on, but I can't participate in it.

Nerd by Default, I can definitely relate to feeling sad and not being able to shed a tear with others, so people think there's nothing wrong, or that I'm just shutting down for no reason. A lot of times, my emotions come sort of "delayed", so there's no apparent antecedent to my shut-down behavior. People get really frustrated with me (I just wrote a whole topic on it...) Like you, I also don't get angry very often. I also just don't see the point. I get scared, I get upset, I get sad, but it's pretty rare that I get angry, and when I do, I usually turn it on myself and get upset with myself instead of whatever was the event (or person) that may have actually caused the anger.

Hmmm I would have expected more responses in this thread. It brings up pretty pertinent things about what we go through. Maybe people just didn't see it... Krisi I do see certain things we possess as skills . But not related to asperger's though. In some ways I am the prototypical autistic/aspie, in other ways I am entirely different. But I generally see it all contributing to who I am and how I see my world. Perception is reality and sometimes it is small nuances that are the differences between people, things, or situations. I am very good with picking up on and using small things, and am very detail oriented, past the point of logic. But then again logic seems to play far too small of a role in my life. I always keep wondering why I can't channel emtoions to a more positive end result. I am extremely good at relating in some ways, in others I am totally on another planet.

-sean-

 

[hardcore]

My problems emotionally are that I only ever feel two types of emotions either happiness or anger. If i get sad or nervous I get angry but there are some emotions like love, jealousy and great joy that I dont feel at all. Maybe certain people suppress certain emotions if they feel they arent needed. Also depends on people and environment though. Ive also had people say to me I dont show enough of a range of emotions that more normal people feel. Do any of you see where Im coming from?

 

[Quasar]

Sometimes I'm overemotional, other times, I am like as you described. There have been plenty of times I've gotten mad, upset, frustrated over small things that most people wouldn't care about, and other times, I have a right to be angry, but I'm not. Then again, a lot of times other people get mad about stuff that seems totally silly to me.

Here's an example of under-reaction: once I went to visit my aunt and my little cousin came over and had been playing with this bb gun pistol. Well, it hadn't been shooting all day, so he got the idea to try and scare me with it by blasting air on me. Yeah, really bad idea, I wouldn't have done it, having been a country boy all my life... he's a city boy. Anyway, apparently, the gun had something(felt like a pellet) lodged in it, and it fired it into the back of my head. I had a hat on, so all it did was break the skin a bit. I yelled cause it hurt, but I never even got off the computer I was on at the time... was doing something, and being shot was more an interruption to me than anything. Was planning on telling my aunt about it when done, but my cousin beat me to it. So I got fussed over, and he fussed at, for a while and everyone kept saying they were surprised I didn't smack him.

 

[jayraytee]

I can tell when people are happy and I can tell when they are not, the nuances I miss. It is the same with myself, I typically feel happy or not. Distinguishing between tired, sad, angry, depressed, etc. I am not so good at. I have a lot of physical pain and stress in my body and I think I am often going through an emotion and am unaware of it except for the effects on my body. If that makes any sense. Like when I should be angry at my wife, I just shut down emotionally and don't feel much at all except the very tense feeling in my neck and back. I feel the physical pain.