Emptying my head

[OnEdge]

Hi all,

I have recently been unofficially diagnosed with being on the spectrum by a specialist at the late age of 23. I say unofficially as I did one of those tests with a professional which came back with definite symptoms, but its not someone who can officially diagnose me.

I am here because I dont know where else to turn too, it seems no one in my family truely understands what its like. I lack any social skills / niceties so i push myself everyday to try to 'fit in' but it is so mentally draining, especially at work. When i tell people this they say something on the lines of "thats life, deal with it". Well i have been dealing with it, by myself, for my entire life and now im done with it.

Since i have been dealing with it, i have lost any interest in actually gaining any social skills, or being verbally social with anyone. This in turn makes work extremely stessful, but in todays society if you dont work, ie earn money, you cant really live. I do enjoy certain aspects of my job but unfortunately most of my job revolves around being social or verbal.

So my question (probably one of many) is this: What would you do in my situation?

Do i quit my job in hopes of finding employment that requires nearly zero social interaction?

Do i try to do some social skills training despite my lack of interest in it?


Appreciate any responses.

(Apologies for the long post as well as being quite vague on some points, first time posting about this topic)

 

[tree]

Do i quit my job in hopes of finding employment that requires nearly zero social interaction?

@OnEdge

I think it would be safer to find work before quitting your current job.
What aspects of your work right now do you enjoy/tolerate the best?

 

[Kirsty]

Is it full time hours or overtime you're doing? Maybe you can reduce your hours to help you work more effectively. Do you have a hobby on the side you can make money from such as selling art work?

 

[clg114]

I spent my entire working career, working by myself and working with my special interest. I know that I was very lucky. But if you could work toward something like that, it might be just the thing for you. I agree with Tree, do not quit a job unless you have something better lined up.

Oh, bye the way. Welcome to AC.

 

[Suzanne]

Welcome.

Late age of 23? Lol that is funny. Try being 40ish when you find out?

If you can find another job, then yes, go for it, but if you cannot, it is sadly, best to stick to what you have and just get on the best you can and of course, so easy to say that, when it is not me

I just successfully got out of a social gathering and it felt GREAT. I did feel lonely though, but when I weighed it up, it was the best of the two evils.

At least, I avoided the anxiety of did I say the wrong thing? Why did that person look at me in a strange way? Etc etc.

I never feel good at social gatherings and that is even when coaxed to go along and so, I have made firm decision to myself, that no more will I put myself through that nightmare.

You could not have arrived at a better place here.

 

[xudo]

Welcome

I agree with @tree, you should look for (and hopefully find) a new job while you still have this one, rather than quit and be unsure when you will find employment again.

 

[NeoPhile]

Welcome to Aspies Central! Learning social skills can be hard, and that can be frustrating.

 

[OnEdge]

Thanks for all the comments.

Firstly, i work as an oshc educator (outside school hours care), so my hours are usually 2 - 3hrs in the morning and 3 - 4hrs in the afternoon. I find that between those hours i am essentially 'recharging' from the morning shift and preparing for the afternoon.
What i enjoy is working with children (which i have done in some form or another for the past 7 years), i can even handle the paperwork for the most part. What i dont enjoy, and get complaints regularly about, is talking with the parents, coworkers and teachers. On occasion when i am left in charge, as other than my supervisor i have been there the longest, i find that i can cope better probably because i can control the situation. Though i found out today that nearly everyone complained about how the centre was ran even though to me there was no problems.

My ideal job, i think, would to basically be a male nanny or something similar. I would still have to deal with parents obviously but i think i would find that job a lot more relaxed. Problem with that is me being a male and all the stigma around it.

I have considered lessening my hours even more to give me a long weekend every fortnight or so, that way i can actually spend that time doing something i enjoy like camping. Currently my weekends consist of me closed off in my room being essentially non verbal to everyone.