Erm, hi

[Caddy]

Hi,

So this is a new one for me, looking for some answers in my life.
Been thinking for a while that I may be on the spectrum, but not had a diagnosis (apart from filling out the online questionnaires where I score pretty highly).
My wife came across this forum and suggested that it could be a good place for help, advice, or just somewhere to get a sounding.
SO, why now? Truth is that life has been very difficult for me, although on the surface you wouldn't really see it - I hold down a good job, I've followed a 'normal life' (school, college, uni, job), but I hate it!
I really struggle with understanding people most of the time, work so much better by myself, and have hid from my fears and anxieties.
Reading up on Asperger's I think the term 'high functioning' may apply to me, a bit like my dyslexia (I have higher or hidden dyslexia), and from other things I've read I feel torn about getting a diagnosis.

 

[tree]

 

[Nitro]

 

[Soona45]

Hi caddy, welcome to AC.
I'm new here too.
I was diagnosed with aspergers a couple of months ago. I too am high functioning. I've always had problems relating and understanding people, always been bullied, but managed to have small amount of friends sometimes. I did ok in school and A-levels/college. Unfortunately my family managed to dissuade me from my passion of science into doing a nursing degree (in the hope it would make me more sociable) but I couldnt complete the course.
I tried to carry on as normal, but social pressures and sensory issues (very sensitive to light) made me extremely tired and Ill. It was like having a massive hangover every day, I could not imagine how other people put up with it, until I realised I was different from everyone else.
Sometimes people seem to get an off feeling about me, but they don't know what's up? Normally they assume I'm very shy, because I'm so quiet.
I have a partner and child and I'm learning to drive. So pretty high functioning.
I liked having my diagnosis so now I can try and forgive myself for past social failings and adjust my life so I'm more comfortable l.
Hope you find what your looking for.

 

[Streetwise]

if you read a lot of the older members introductions we sound like a repeat of you i.was diagnosed in my mid 40s -now know this is quite common, hate fighting to be accepted and deserving of basic respect[
sorry IM in a fog of pain welcome never graduated from college- glad i stopped it was a punishment .
QUOTE="Caddy, post: 399921, member: 17641"]Hi,

So this is a new one for me, looking for some answers in my life.
Been thinking for a while that I may be on the spectrum, but not had a diagnosis (apart from filling out the online questionnaires where I score pretty highly).
My wife came across this forum and suggested that it could be a good place for help, advice, or just somewhere to get a sounding.
SO, why now? Truth is that life has been very difficult for me, although on the surface you wouldn't really see it - I hold down a good job, I've followed a 'normal life' (school, college, uni, job), but I hate it!
I really struggle with understanding people most of the time, work so much better by myself, and have hid from my fears and anxieties.
Reading up on Asperger's I think the term 'high functioning' may apply to me, a bit like my dyslexia (I have higher or hidden dyslexia), and from other things I've read I feel torn about getting a diagnosis.[/QUOTE]

 

[Streetwise]

if you read a lot of the older members introductions we sound like a repeat of you i.was diagnosed in my mid 40s -now know this is quite common, hate fighting to be accepted and deserving of basic respect[
sorry IM in a fog of pain welcome never graduated from college- glad i stopped it was a punishment .
QUOTE="Caddy, post: 399921, member: 17641"]Hi,

So this is a new one for me, looking for some answers in my life.
Been thinking for a while that I may be on the spectrum, but not had a diagnosis (apart from filling out the online questionnaires where I score pretty highly).
My wife came across this forum and suggested that it could be a good place for help, advice, or just somewhere to get a sounding.
SO, why now? Truth is that life has been very difficult for me, although on the surface you wouldn't really see it - I hold down a good job, I've followed a 'normal life' (school, college, uni, job), but I hate it!
I really struggle with understanding people most of the time, work so much better by myself, and have hid from my fears and anxieties.
Reading up on Asperger's I think the term 'high functioning' may apply to me, a bit like my dyslexia (I have higher or hidden dyslexia), and from other things I've read I feel torn about getting a diagnosis.

[/QUOTE]
ah my phone has done it again please let the tablet come very soon

 

[ZebraAutismo]

Hi. Welcome to Aspie Central.

 

[Ellie.s]

Hi Caddy! Welcome to AC.
I'm also new here, not diagnosed, but I did a little research and I also think I'm high functioning. I work alone too, don't want others help. As I've learned, diagnosis won't help you much and it's hard to get diagnosed in adulthood. If you think you need help, you could find a doctor that specializes in Aspergers. He could help you even without a diagnosis.
I also suggest you do a little research here on AC.

 

[Caddy]

Thank you all for your replies - first time I feel like I'm able to be myself around anyone. Still a little anxious, but to be expected.
Will be posting questions and feelings in the relevant area, but already feeling happy for joining here.
(Think my wife is as well)

 

[xudo]

Welcome

 

[Tyrantus1212]

Hi,

So this is a new one for me, looking for some answers in my life.
Been thinking for a while that I may be on the spectrum, but not had a diagnosis (apart from filling out the online questionnaires where I score pretty highly).
My wife came across this forum and suggested that it could be a good place for help, advice, or just somewhere to get a sounding.
SO, why now? Truth is that life has been very difficult for me, although on the surface you wouldn't really see it - I hold down a good job, I've followed a 'normal life' (school, college, uni, job), but I hate it!
I really struggle with understanding people most of the time, work so much better by myself, and have hid from my fears and anxieties.
Reading up on Asperger's I think the term 'high functioning' may apply to me, a bit like my dyslexia (I have higher or hidden dyslexia), and from other things I've read I feel torn about getting a diagnosis.

Hello Caddy, welcome to AC. You'll gain a lot of insight on Asperger's here; I sure did.

I don't have a diagnosis either but my psychologist highly suspects it. I suspected I've had it all along after accidentally reading about it online, and one of my coworkers mentioned it as well. Your wife is very much correct, this forum is excellent for all the things listed.

I've been struggling too. I somehow managed to hold down a job for over 5 years even though I have tons of problems with communication and common sense, and my social skills are off the chart terrible. Probably because of my skills and my ability to treat clients with respect. I got a computer science degree in college but in terms of doing socially, it was a total trainwreck. I wanted to make so many friends there but I behaved so obnoxiously that I ended up more alone than I've ever been.

I never meant to cause anyone any pain and I've only realized what I've done after the ship has long sailed. All I wanted to was to fit in - and it just can't magically work after two decades of being a lone wolf and being born with bad social skills to begin with. I've very much learned it the hard way. I've even had moments where I've nearly regressed into that behavior, but have been able to stop myself from falling into the abyss before it had a chance to happen. Academically though, I've done very well; been on the Dean's List for multiple semesters.

I struggle with understanding people too and I also tend to confuse those around me. I understand things literally and that made me the target of ridicule and advantage-taking in college. I work better by myself too and get really nervous whenever I'm asked a question at work, especially with the word "why"; that word leads me to believe that I'm in trouble. People can always sense the fear, it's that magical 6th sense of the NT's. As for fears and anxieties, I pretty much drown in those. Even other people who claim that they worry tell me to stop worrying (although they may have been sarcastic and I may have been literal again). I can never hide my anxieties because I tend to ask people for reassurance. I'm always afraid of making bad decisions so I have to ask others' opinions before doing something on my own. I suffer from very low self-esteem too.

I'm high functioning too. My doc and I are working together to manage it, and without medication. He told me I don't need a diagnosis and I believe that many other people don't necessarily need it either. He was actually the one who suggested that I join an online community for Asperger's, so here I am.

 

[SusanLR]

Welcome Caddy.
I felt at home here immediately and I really feel I am learning alot about myself with everyone here. Being able to share thoughts and experiences openly is so helpful. Feels like I actually have a group of friends. Great place.