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Every second of my life is torture

GrownupGirl

GrownupGirl

Tempermental Artist
I can't stand it, every second feels like an eternity and I can't think or focus I just want to die. I can't go on living in a world ravaged by covid and filled with idiotic human pieces of filth. I'm just a waste of oxygen I'm completely worthless why can't I just die? Why do I have to be so afraid of dying when living is so much worse? We were doing so well we hadn't had any cases of covid since last April AND THEN SOME IDIOTS HAD TO RUIN IT WITH A STUPID HOCKEY GAME!!
I HATE THIS COUNTRY I THIS PLANET AND MY BRAIN IS BROKEN.
 
Sorry you feel like this. A pandemic is not easy to solve or get through, people are eager to get out and about, but as you say, sometimes they do the wrong thing. I hope you feel better soon, things will get better, vaccinations are a key part of that. Meanwhile we wait, and adjust. It's tough.
 
GrownupGirl said:
I can't stand it, every second feels like an eternity and I can't think or focus I just want to die. I can't go on living in a world ravaged by covid and filled with idiotic human pieces of filth. I'm just a waste of oxygen I'm completely worthless why can't I just die? Why do I have to be so afraid of dying when living is so much worse? We were doing so well we hadn't had any cases of covid since last April AND THEN SOME IDIOTS HAD TO RUIN IT WITH A STUPID HOCKEY GAME!!
I HATE THIS COUNTRY I THIS PLANET AND MY BRAIN IS BROKEN.
Click to expand...

Sorry. l want to scream too. Right now things seem soooo screwed up. I haven't seen your artwork lately, so you must feel out of sorts. Sometimes finding a safe place to scream, just let it out. I think once l was super frustrated, l blasted my music and just screamed. It was a relief for me. Anyways, l hope you feel better.
 
We're afraid of dying because we don't know living is so much worse.

If fear of death weren't a part of the natural instincts of living creatures,
we would probably all be jumping off the cliffs, like lemmings.
Most maybe, not all.

May as well chill. You're here for better or worse for what ever reason. :confused:
 
Sad state of human affairs, to be sure. There are many things happening all over the world. Do you have someone to talk to or a family member? Are you all alone?
 
GrownupGirl said:
I can't stand it, every second feels like an eternity and I can't think or focus I just want to die. I can't go on living in a world ravaged by covid and filled with idiotic human pieces of filth. I'm just a waste of oxygen I'm completely worthless why can't I just die? Why do I have to be so afraid of dying when living is so much worse? We were doing so well we hadn't had any cases of covid since last April AND THEN SOME IDIOTS HAD TO RUIN IT WITH A STUPID HOCKEY GAME!!
I HATE THIS COUNTRY I THIS PLANET AND MY BRAIN IS BROKEN.
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from one aspie to another,i feel your pain.i want to socially vent my frustrations myself because of it by calling those who don't wear masks,who also don't care about the health of others,based on S.A.I.D (Stupid,As Well As Idiotic & Dumb) :smile::tearsofjoy: along with people amongst our family,as well as our friends who don't listen to what we try telling them :mad::angry::imp::rage: because people like that,even amongst family & friends,are so stupid,some of them don't socially have what we have,along with not caring what we socially or behaviorally struggle with & we get into it with them in the same setting !
 
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Is weed legal where you are? If so, “wake N bake” and a hot cupa joe with mounds of sugar in it starts the day with a smile.

Just a thought, and only if it’s legal of course.
 
SusanLR said:
We're afraid of dying because we don't know living is so much worse.

If fear of death weren't a part of the natural instincts of living creatures,
we would probably all be jumping off the cliffs, like lemmings.
Most maybe, not all.

May as well chill. You're here for better or worse for what ever reason. :confused:
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i don't care if i do...alone,because no girl or woman wants anything to do with me,because of how unattractive appear to them,as well as severely awkward,upon eye-contact :(:mad::angry::imp::rage:
 
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Ok. But there lies the path to hell, honestly. There is good reason why women dont like you enough to cuddle and kiss, jared.

Most of it is unfortunate circumstance. No one ever talks to me at grocery store. Like i have fleas or a bad smell. Its the place and time, not the ppl. At other venues ppl are more receptive. The multiverse is vast and complex.

At the farmers market, 8am, happy ppl, who like talking and have all day to linger, totally dif scene then at crowded store full of cameras, 5pm on a friday.
 
GrownupGirl said:
I can't stand it, every second feels like an eternity and I can't think or focus I just want to die. I can't go on living in a world ravaged by covid and filled with idiotic human pieces of filth. I'm just a waste of oxygen I'm completely worthless why can't I just die? Why do I have to be so afraid of dying when living is so much worse? We were doing so well we hadn't had any cases of covid since last April AND THEN SOME IDIOTS HAD TO RUIN IT WITH A STUPID HOCKEY GAME!!
I HATE THIS COUNTRY I THIS PLANET AND MY BRAIN IS BROKEN.
Click to expand...

My heart aches with sympathy. Here is something to make you happy. Dr Friendly's kickaxx breakfast, aka army porridge.
Hope you are not totally vegan, if so maybe skip this
Brown frzn hburg w/ onions n then add diced summer sausage in 8inch cast pan, with a lid, like on three. Cook meat well done,covered like on three. Add frzn veggie, water bring to a boil, like 6.cook for a while, like making soup. Add oats last. top with apple juice 2shots(?) (Sweet) Reduce heat to low, and as always

Season to taste, cook until done

Big love for you grownupgirl, feed thy brain, it will get better
20210505_100303.jpg
 
Skittlebisquit said:
Ok. But there lies the path to hell, honestly. There is good reason why women dont like you enough to cuddle and kiss, jared.

Most of it is unfortunate circumstance. No one ever talks to me at grocery store. Like i have fleas or a bad smell. Its the place and time, not the ppl. At other venues ppl are more receptive. The multiverse is vast and complex.

At the farmers market, 8am, happy ppl, who like talking and have all day to linger, totally dif scene then at crowded store full of cameras, 5pm on a friday.
Click to expand...
i simply refer to this as the single life with no way out.
 
Wrong. Totally is. You are a justicar of the multiverse.

Such as you may devise; you concieve.
As you percieve so does it seem.
It is not that way at all, you seem young.
Here is the testament of the wariior priest and the mage born

All that is in my life
I create
I promote
I allow
 
As a non nuerotypical human specimen you meet the qualifications of the mageborn; who it were said: "were set apart, strange, and not well met"
 
Jared now this matters, ok? Peer support is likely whats lacking, the forum community is a playground for expression. Its ok to do it wrong, and be wierd at the same time, and get nerdtastic in the middl too.
 
Can you expand and crop this 4 me plz? I cant do it on a phone its just too dollhouse_wierdist i cant manipulat images, gives me eyestrain. This is from the austerity of 2019, it was a formative time. Irs orig on a. 8.5x11 as compass study, con cen cirq
Then divide clockwise and color in with felt pens.

Then*** reduce to 3inch round
20210423_213231.jpg

Those are the ends of refrigerator bisquits, the metal at the end, with a magnet on the back and my nu art on front, like a mandalea. Do you lIke it at all? See its my scrn name cause its bisquits plus the rainbow looks like candy
 
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