Executive Functioning... Help!

[AngelaS267]

Hello my lovelies. This thread has been an amazing way for me to better understand myself now that I know I'm on the spectrum. I just had an amazing revelation about myself today at work. Struggling with a little something called executive functioning. Executive function is a set of mental skills that include working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control... And I struggle with it. I think this is the largest issue that I've had as someone who has been on the spectrum and been undiagnosed for 23 years. It was like I struck gold when I was looking at a video that discussed ASD and ADHD and how they CAN coexist within someone. He began describing executive functioning, and I'm just like YES! THAT'S IT! It perfectly described the issue I've been having. I started to notice how bad it was for me when I started going to college, and making a little more friends. I would forget things regularly and it embarrassed me cause my friends would joke about it. I am very unorganized and untidy, also very embarrassing. I can't bring myself to keep organized longer than a few weeks at best. When I have to follow directions I have a very hard time doing so. VERY hard time. It was very apparent when I started going to work. I'd be asked to do something that isn't that hard, but I'd find myself making silly mistakes. Those are just a few things, I could go on and on. But I wanted to know from anyone who better understands executive functioning if they had any tips to help better cope with poor EF? Do you take medication for it? Do you do therapy? Do you just have some tips to make it easier? If you don't know about it, I'd highly recommend researching the subject, it's been very eye opening for me today. Thank you in advance

 

[Aspychata]

My story is l went from severe abuse to out dealing with 55 people, their names, their nuances, and a million things to do with no time to write it down. Now l worked at a place with a 1000 club members and l have to learn fast.
First for me is exercise, something that gets me sweating and competing to push myself. For me it's running but after l run, l can do a logic problem super fast. This helps the aging brain. Next up - protein. Please try to eat low-fat protein. Cut back a little on fatty foods, go more lean. Accept that you may make a mistake and that's okay. You can always ask the person if you didn't get it the first time. Come up with silly associations to remember things. I remember the wife told me her husband is consumed with a particular car, l remember that and now l remember their last name.
You are a work in progress.

 

[Nervous Rex]

For me:
1) Make written lists. Prioritize the items and check them off when they're done.
2) If a task is too big
2a) Break them down
2b) into smaller pieces that you can handle.
3) Just get started on a task. Usually, once I start something, I want to finish it.
4) Give yourself rewards for getting things done.

 

[SolarPoweredNightOwl]

Get plenty of sleep. It's amazing how much worse one functions when sleep is disrupted. (I get to be low-functioning tomorrow, opening in the morning after closing tonight, yay!) Related: Do what you can to maintain high energy levels. Bad mental health will wreck your ability to function, so look after that, as well.

Habits and routines are your friend. A big part of executive dysfunction, at least for me, is task initiation. Habits are automatic behaviors, and thus bypass task initiation struggles most of the time. You don't have to think about it or force yourself to do it, you just set the stage and do it on autopilot without really noticing. Routines are just habits strung together in succession, one leading cleanly into the other, and a good routine lets you get a lot of repetitive crap done with very little brainpower. I can recommend a good, short book on habits if you like (though it would require me to find my Kindle).

For general life management, develop systems. This takes a lot of trial and error (I'm still working on most of mine, with limited success), and it takes a lot of mental energy up front, but once you've got systems in place for dealing with common things, it makes life a lot easier. As a couple examples: I've got a system for making sure I've got necessary household supplies, and a system for making sure I always have food and don't have to resort to buying takeout. It's not glamorous, but these concepts have helped me.

 

[Misery]

Yeah, I know how this one goes, somewhat.

In my case, I'm very good at the flexible thinking bit.

I'm fantastically awful at the other bits.

Organization? Haha no. You say you can stay organized for a couple of weeks. I cant manage like 2 days. You should see what happens to a hotel room after I've been in it for half a day.

Attention span? What attention span?

Patience: LOL NOPE. I have none whatsoever.

And I've got a memory like a cheese grater. Which can make following instructions interesting. I can do it... so long as the instructions are right in front of me the whole time. If someone tries to give me verbal instructions... yeah, that's not going to work. I'll forget random chunks of that within minutes. Also blank out alot, which can lead to me doing some very strange things. Did you know it's possible to try and make a sandwich but forget the bread? Yeah, neither did I, until I did exactly that. "Mistakes" indeed.


There isnt much I can suggest to fix it, to be honest. I've found very few things that help with any of this at all. Heck, for the memory bit, people always tell me to write things down to remind myself... but I wont remember to look at whatever I wrote, so that's useless.

One thing that DOES help: Drink lots of water. Seriously. Most people are dehydrated to some degree. And dehydration affects pretty much everything. Including stuff like this. I got on a regimen of drinking lots of water last summer and have kept up with it, and it makes a big difference in alot of ways. Note though that when I say "drink water" I dont mean "other drink that has a bit of water in it". Gotta be a proper glass of pure water. LOTS of them. It's supposed to be like what, some 8 glasses a day or something? Quite a bit, that we're supposed to have daily. Seriously though, this one has a huge impact. Though, for anyone starting on this, you have to stick with it. It takes a couple of weeks before the effects are noticed since your body isnt used to having that water.

Also avoid alcohol. It makes literally ALL of these things worse.

 

[Thinx]

There are some threads on this already, so you could look for those, I know I ve spoken about this here previously... my best strategies over the years have been paper based systems, as paper was what we used when I was at school then starting at work. I always had an A5 diary and used it to note meetings, list tasks and as @Nervous Rex has said, prioritise them, also adding time allocations helped me see how to fit tasks into the available time.

My way of noting it looks scattered often with boxes drawn around bits still to do etc, or with post its added on top when I am really busy, but it works. I have trouble remembering things to take with me especially if interrupted on my way out of the house, post its on the door can help, or I may ignore them though. Oops. Writing on my hand is another useful one. Also, having back up stuff at work like food and equipment. Always supposing one has any space of one's own or a drawer, not so easy these days.

I write down new processes and consult my notes, often I still need to do that even months or years in to using a process, as I forget the steps, if it's not a daily task. Most of my life I didn't know this was anything except just how I am, but knowing it was helpful, as you say, and helped me plan better. I used to think I wasn't a planner, as it seemed like part of my personality to be absent minded and disorganised but now I embrace planning.

 

[SusanLR]

My ability to function goes out the window if I feel rushed.
Staying calm and doing each step slow is what helps me the most.
When someone is around that is in a hurry and expects me to be too,
it just doesn't work.
I forget what I'm doing and just can't think.

I can accomplish a lot more alone so I can take the time to do what I need systematically.
If others are around, try to get some place to yourself and plan the steps needed to do
what you need to do.

And don't feel guilty if it takes longer to accomplish things you want to do.
Most times it just does for me.
I like things organised, but, it takes effort.
Procrastination I doubt I will ever find a way to deal with.

 

[Sarah S]

We all have different ways of adapting to our "tics" and other related problems shuch as poor Executive capubilities. So my best advice to you is try to find out what works for YOU. And what you describe is pretty mush ADHD so it wouldent surprise me if you like me also have both ASD and ADHD.

 

[Aspychata]

It looks like we all suffer from this but just find ways to cope with It. There various degrees of it also. Maybe think what you struggle with the most and see if you can come up with a system to get some type of control of the situation. But like one poster said : emotions can wreck havoc with remembering the task at hand, so l find l have improved in that area.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

In a flash of inspiration I broke down Discipline into five components.

First comes three ingredients:

practical + exact + attention

Then comes initiative.

(I usually stay stuck, here .)

Result: Discipline. I'll notice it as a sort of conscious routine.

The funniest description anyone gave me is "clunky".

Marshalling my effects spatially, in my home is a key necessity - practical + exact helps my attention. Go up the walls (shelving) to save going up the wall.

 

[Giraffes]

For me i need a sence on order to feel ok before i can consider anything, OCD playing with me again, if it's just me in a space fine, but hey no women is a island so put work, partner and people in the mix and more tricky, i forget stuff al the time...... keys, mobile phone, bike lock, yes a pain i could continue but I'll try not to bore you all, computers are a foreign thing to me and even after courses and step by step instructions, including a multitute of post it notes every-where it's ground hog day. The embarrassment of returning again and again for 'forgotten things is uncomfortable but i'm beginning to accept this is part of who i am, although if i hear one more 'what have you forgotten now' i may commit a crime Lol. Starting new things is tricky and as the queen of advoidance i now sometimes drop my crown and break the task into acrievable chunks, also if i have loads of paragraphs to digest i cover the page and reveal a bit at a time to reduce anxiety, i echo the advice of try different approaches and see what helps, good luck

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

For me i need a sence on order to feel ok before i can consider anything, OCD playing with me again, if it's just me in a space fine, but hey no women is a island so put work, partner and people in the mix and more tricky, i forget stuff al the time...... keys, mobile phone, bike lock, yes a pain i could continue but I'll try not to bore you all, computers are a foreign thing to me and even after courses and step by step instructions, including a multitute of post it notes every-where it's ground hog day. The embarrassment of returning again and again for 'forgotten things is uncomfortable but i'm beginning to accept this is part of who i am, although if i hear one more 'what have you forgotten now' i may commit a crime Lol. Starting new things is tricky and as the queen of advoidance i now sometimes drop my crown and break the task into acrievable chunks, also if i have loads of paragraphs to digest i cover the page and reveal a bit at a time to reduce anxiety, i echo the advice of try different approaches and see what helps, good luck

A book I was directed to outlines the "concrete scenario" in which I put the things for tomorrow's errands in front of the door, aesthetically arranged.

Revealing a bit of a page at a time is a great trick!

 

[Aspychata]

Aesthetically arranged is how the Japanese do their beautiful bento boxes. Your chore is to eat but look at the colors and placement.

 

[onlything]

My executive function can be quite terrible as well and at times I can't even start doing something productive or make myself a meal unless I am forced to. Some things I worked out so far (and like to think I got better) are:

- research on new habit-forming - highly helpful in fighting off negative habits and creating new, positive ones

- creating a habit of carrying a notebook whenever I leave the house to write down important things - because I know that if I don't do it or write it on my phone, I will forget (the creation of habit involved setting up a reminder on my phone to carry the notebook around with me for at least X minutes per day, starting with just touching a notebook)

- making a list of traits I perceive myself to have and choosing activities to work on towards self-improvement (such as organisation, hygiene, clean room etc.)

- make a table of up to 16 most important things you want to work on:
a) make a weekly table and hang it somewhere visible: all traits in a column to the left, a row above with the names of the days
b) each week choose one thing to focus on and try to make sure to improve on that one trait, tick off if worked on (in the beginning you may tick off for even such simple things as just thinking of it or planning to do X tomorrow; activities may involve for example for Organisation creating a to-do list for the day, but Resolve would mean ticking off X of the activities on the list - tick off all applicable but focus on the one chose)

- read on growth mindset if only because it can change the way you think about many things

- set up a weekly schedule on your phone and make sure it reminds you to do things (for me especially essentials are reminders about meals and sleep time)

- watch youtube videos about executive function for a few minutes instead of more meaningless activities

- set up goals: main goal - what do you want in life?; smaller goals - how to get there?; specific goals - how to implement them into your routine?

Etc. To be honest, the list is quite long. If you're interested in more suggestions or some references, you can always PM me.

 

[Giraffes]

Hi have yiu a link to explore growth mindset please

 

[onlything]

Hi have yiu a link to explore growth mindset please

There is a lot of data a quick google search away.

I don't have specific links but I can recommend books such as 'Mindset: The New Psychology of Success' and 'Challenging Mindset', as well as Android phone app 'The Growth Mindset'. All three contain a discussion on a set of differences between growth and fixed mindset, along with anecdotes and examples, not very scientific but still worth consideration.

If you don't feel like reading check out youtube videos such as:

,

or

.

It's not really about executive function itself but can help to stop seeing your mistakes as failures and see them as opportunities to learn instead.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

Make your problems work for you and not against you!

 

[homo_aspien]

Hi, have you ever experienced complete executive function shutdown due to burnout form stress?

I have been so burnout that its been a year since I hit the rock bottom and started getting better and I am still not fully "myself". I'm still not at a place I was before burnout and I am scared I never will be again. I miss my way of thinking and connecting the dots. I hope to get it back.

I was completely miserable before I was aware of my autism and its role in my burnout and loss of functioning. Now I have the strenght and selfcompasion to work on getting better. (selfdiagnosed two months ago, I postponed getting official test because of coronavirus situation)

Since learning about it, my progress thoward better mental state accelerated because I became aware of my taking care of my sensory issues first, and importance of stimming.

Also, I realized I don't want others to exploit my autistic "superpowers" anymore, I want to save my energy for myself and setting up life to better suit me.

PS Sorry for the bad spelling.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

Leaving school not having been prepared well for O levels in subjects I had an intellectual aptitude for, with one A-level (a scrape) (finding "literature" difficult) (and "having to" study more "literature" at college) I was so burned out for decades due to unenlightenment about my best ways of functioning, and depression and sub-mediocrity and stagnation. Family & employers "carried" me somewhat (if they permitted themselves to). An employer (in a large office that had needed to greatly expand, and where I was chronically junior) coaching a bunch of largely dyslexic colleagues appeared at the same moment I was doing my serendipitous reading up about my "symptoms".

 

[SolarPoweredNightOwl]

Did you know it's possible to try and make a sandwich but forget the bread? Yeah, neither did I, until I did exactly that. "Mistakes" indeed.

Heh, I've done that before. Closing shift followed immediately by opening shift... who needs sleep and the ability to function, right?

Hi, have you ever experienced complete executive function shutdown due to burnout form stress?

Yes, and I'm getting to that place again. Take care of yourself, and do what you can to make things less stressful in your home. I think the virus is going to disrupt things for the next couple years in the US.