Eye contact

[Ylva]

Can't See Eye to Eye? Here's Why | Psychology Today

 

[Sparticus]

I didn't read the link but my favorite brother taught me to look into people's eyes. That plus having taken years of career and Job Search seminars [on interviews, look into their eyes.] However still there are many times I avoid making eye contact especially if I feel nervous about the other person/people.

 

[Stacey]

My ex boyfriend used my 'lack of eye contact', as an excuse for cheating on me! I have to admit it did make me laugh.

 

[anthoskate]

I hate eye contact and I can't see why it's necessary.

When I speak to people I look into there eyes just to start the conversation and after that I look away and use my peripheral vision. I can't see how I'm ever going to get better at looking into peoples eyes if I hate doing it. Plus I understand more if I look away.

This is what I read in a pdf that I have

Peripheral perception
Another strategy to avoid overload and get meaning from the outside world is peripheral perception. Autistic people can often understand things better if they attend to them indirectly, for instance, by looking out of ther corner of their eyes(O'Neill, 1999) or listening peripherally. The same is true of other senses if they are hypersensitive - the indirect perceptions of smell, taste or touch are often defensive strategies to avoid overload and keep in touch with reality. In this case, it is a kind of indirectly confrontational approach in contrast to a 'normal' directly confrontational one (Williams, 1996).

 

[Judge]

It's just still weird not to have given it much thought over the years. I couldn't even recall asking anyone about it. I just knew it felt uncomfortable to maintain a prolonged stare into anyone's eyes.

Just glad I can do it when I need to. It's not a big concern to me...just kind of an annoyance like OCD.

 

[Thea]

I cheat and look at their face near their eyes so it seems like I'm making eye contact. Did it before I even knew I was an aspie because people think you're untrustworthy or dishonest or rude if you don't look at them.

 

[Ylva]

And they can reveal themselves to be dishonest or untrustworthy or rude if you look at them.

 

[Nanda]

People can lie looking into your eyes, and if you don't know very well the person body language, they will fooled you.

And yes, is more easy look at some other place when somebody is talking, i can hear and think about it better.
I can do eye contact when i know the person well enough, i dont like it, but i do. Well, some days are better then the others.
I don't think it's a good thing stares at the eye ball of the other person while they are speaking, it feels kinda unnatural for me.
I remember look at my female teacher breasts when i was much more young, its very embarrassing to say this but its just that i wasn't comfortable looking their faces, so i look to the mouth and the eyes sight kinda slip without me knowing.
I have now a male teacher that have big green eyes and like very much to make eye contact with his students while in class. I can't look at him, no way.
If i have to look at the person's eye they faces kinda disappeared, i can't remember seeing they faces very well.
In general feels uncomfortable, it's like they are reading your mind.

 

[Charlotte Antell-Collins]

I can look for a second then anywhere but the eyes then the eyes and so forth

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I don't like eye contact, but I learnt at a young age, thanks to my aunt shouting at me a lot, that not making eye contact is a bad thing, though I didn't understand why at the time. I now understand that for NTs eye contact is important to establish trust, show attention and establish a rapport (though it still seems unnatural and unnecessary to me, I really don't get why eye contact is supposed to show that you're telling the truth). I can do it if I need to, but I mostly look at the person forehead, it looks like your're making eye contact but is less uncomfortable.

 

[Harrison]

I don't like eye contact and tend to either scan their face or look at the bridge of the nose or mouth. Sometimes partners have got all uppitty about it and accused me of being evasive, despite me telling them it makes me uncomfortable.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I spent a lot of time around animals more so than people other than my parents. So to me, eye contact was a challenge and struggle to assert dominance between individuals, so I still have trouble looking people in the eye if I feel equal to or less than them. Kind of iffy if I like them, most of the time I'm quite comfortable looking my husband in the eyes but I have trouble looking at some of my relatives. Now, if I don't like somebody or we're fighting, heck yeah, I'll stare them down and even have to remind myself to blink!

 

[karla]

I always look at peoples mouths when they´re talking. No one has ever mentioned that, so I think they don´t notice, but Im not sure.

 

[I am Matt]

I used to not be able to look people in the eye and I never thought much of it except for a few instances. One time, my friend asked why I can't look someone in the eye and I said "I never thought of it" and the next person I looked in the eye said I was creeping them out (I never looked away from them) so I swore to NEVER look someone in the eye again. Then at the very end of HS, that same friend that asked me about eye contact then told me that people may think I have a problem with them if I can't look them in the eye. After that I just practiced it until I am at least functional at looking someone in the eye. Sometimes I probably do look them in the eye too much and sometimes I probably do not do it enough, but for the most part I just try to look someone in the eye when I am talking to them and just occasionally if they are talking to me.

 

[icesyckel]

I tried to contact my eye, but it ignored my calls... sigh.

 

[Shawn D]

When I was a kid, I would win staring contests. Eye contact was required, but my vision would sort of check out when I stared, so it wasn't meaningful eye contact.
Now, I can make eye contact without much issue, but if I'm talking at great length about something, I tend to look away.

 

[DogwoodTree]

As a kid, I learned to dissociate while making eye contact. I didn't have words for it, but I knew I was withdrawing myself in order to give the appearance of connecting.​

 

[Shawn D]

I look AT people's eyes, but don't really connect with them when conversing. I, too, tend to dissociate when interacting with others.

 

[zurb]

When I was at school, they talked about a social triangle made of the eyes and mouth, and that it was ok to look anywhere in this area.
How much I can look at their eyes depends on my relationship with the person. I still tend to look away when I need to think.
Funny thing is that out on the street, I tend to scan eyes of those passing by, but usually we both disconnect as soon as a connection is made.
I remember once a classmate said his sister had said I was not friendly when I had visited the bank where she worked. I suspect eye contact (or lack thereof) was the issue. As she wasn't at a counter I don't know what else it would be.

 

[ImAnAspie]

I've been told eye contact is important but for what, I'm not sure? All it does is feel false, uncomfortable and when I do make myself do it, I never know how long is right and I end up with this wierd stare thing going on. I end up thinking more about the eye contact and unable to concentrate on what is actually being said.