Fabricating memories

[JJ19]

Does anybody erase traumatic memories? Sometimes I repress them, although they can come back in very intrusive ways. But sometimes when I have done something wrong, particularly linked to embarrassment I will often rewrite scenarios in my end and constantly tell myself them. Sometimes I just make fresh memories from scratch and repeatedly tell myself they happened. Although contradicting evidence or the truth sometimes resurfaces again intrusively.

However sometimes it creates situations where I genuinely don't know what is true. It's problematic. It's almost like reflexive and habit as well. I know lies of any kind even self-deception is wrong. They are the worst lies actually.

Is there a name for this particular process? Anybody have any helpful links or advice?

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Psychotherapy. Some people process horrible, emotional events as debilitating trauma and PTSD, effecting several aspects of their lives. Some people process these events as learning and wisdom. There's no real way that I am aware of to predict how one will process these events.

Regardless, if past trauma, conscious or unconscious, is effecting your life in negative ways, then the logical thing would be to expose and confront these things in a calm, controlled, safe place with guidance. Only then can you gain some acceptance that "Yes, this happened, and I am going to use it to strengthen me instead of weaken me."

 

[Tired]

I agree about psychotherapy. It helped me a lot, still helps. It's such an... unpleasant feeling when those memories pop-up, and even more unpleasant when you relive them, but then you'll learn to just accept that that happened and move forward, creating better, happier memories.

 

[agateboy]

My psychotherapist had me participate in a "timeline" of major things I remember and things I tried to forget. Most of your major life experiences. Also helped me sort out when things started to to change in life and why some of my behaviors manifest the way they do. Starting from the beginning will clear things up.

I did not want to have repressed traumatic memories re-appear in forms of addiction or other behaviors in my later years, when I will actually be able to be happy.

 

[Xinyta]

Does anybody erase traumatic memories? Sometimes I repress them, although they can come back in very intrusive ways. But sometimes when I have done something wrong, particularly linked to embarrassment I will often rewrite scenarios in my end and constantly tell myself them. Sometimes I just make fresh memories from scratch and repeatedly tell myself they happened. Although contradicting evidence or the truth sometimes resurfaces again intrusively.

However sometimes it creates situations where I genuinely don't know what is true. It's problematic. It's almost like reflexive and habit as well. I know lies of any kind even self-deception is wrong. They are the worst lies actually.

Is there a name for this particular process? Anybody have any helpful links or advice?

You cannot truly erase memories. Especailly tramatic memories. They still exist in your subconscious. You have already stated yourself that you repress, which is exactly what it is. Repression is the act of pushing back memories that are particularly harmful to the self to avoid addressing them. Trying to replace the memories with fabricated benine memories, is part of fear of facing one's self, and others, for what truly happened.

It is not healthly to hold on to negative/tramatic memories. But it's equally as harmful, if not more harmful, to repress them. Because you are not addressing the problem. Just running from it. To add another layer with lies in place of the truth, is even more harm added to what harm you've already done.

My sin, in this regard, is blaming myself for everything my parents didn't do to help me during my informative years. That's my lie to cover up the truth that my parents were just crappy at thier job and didn't care how thier emotional/mental neglect affected me. I have made a couple threads that add more context to it.

Yesterday was... eventful

Hallowness and Misery

I've got a problem

All these, overall, exsentuate the type of damage negative self-talk, self-doubt, and self-torment do to the mind of someone who is already mentally vulnerable, like me.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I have not actively tried to repress memories. But my subconscious seems ok with muting some aspects. I clearly remember breaking my arm at 2 years old. I even remember telling my uncle "you hurt me". So I know abstractly that I was in pain. I don't remember the actual pain. When I nearly cut my finger off 2 years ago, I know abstractly that it was painful, but again, I don't actually remember that pain. It's more like a memorized fact than an experience I lived through.

 

[Kayla55]

Pardon, but some NTs fabricate memories all time, they love to refer to past events and tell you wonderful things they did. I sat there thinking, word, I must be rustier than I thought but I don't recall my mom-in-law ever being a solution except if answer existed.
I lay down often in day lately, just too much, catatonia (look it up) and alexythemia
Mostly from what I understand with autism is social anxiety and memory loss, embarassing times are just more intense. How does anyone deal with say farting at wrong time... No way to ease the pain.

Sometimes forgetting things for me was best, who needs to remember anyway?

 

[UFO]

Does anybody erase traumatic memories?

I have only one instance that I know of:

I had to give a presentation in elementary school and I was nervous as hell. There was no memory of it, just a gap between stepping in front of the class and the end of the lecture. I was told by my class mates that they didn't notice anything, I just read fluently from my notes and that's it.

I don't think it was erasing, more like stopping recording.

Is there a name for this particular process? Anybody have any helpful links or advice?

Confabulation? No helpful links or advice available for now.

 

[Tom]

I don't alter bad or embarassing memories. I do think it important to face them at some point and when I was in the wrong own up to it. But once I've done that I definately prefer to avoid them because they still hurt when they come to mind again.

 

[jellyfish]

Your mind can crack and you can suppress memories and traumatic life events without even consciously meaning to do it. Then one day years later something can suddenly crack it open again and it all comes flooding back and you have a nervous breakdown. The human mind is a terrible thing. It's capacity for pain is a MISTAKE.

 

[JJ19]

Pardon, but some NTs fabricate memories all time, they love to refer to past events and tell you wonderful things they did. I sat there thinking, word, I must be rustier than I thought but I don't recall my mom-in-law ever being a solution except if answer existed.
I lay down often in day lately, just too much, catatonia (look it up) and alexythemia
Mostly from what I understand with autism is social anxiety and memory loss, embarassing times are just more intense. How does anyone deal with say farting at wrong time... No way to ease the pain.

Sometimes forgetting things for me was best, who needs to remember anyway?

You are right with this one in the sense that it's likely not an Asperger's thing at all. I guess I was wondering how common it is, and if it's a sign of fear or weak character. Maybe there is no difference between the two in this scenario I don't know. Got to stop it whatever is causing it.

 

[JJ19]

I agree about psychotherapy. It helped me a lot, still helps. It's such an... unpleasant feeling when those memories pop-up, and even more unpleasant when you relive them, but then you'll learn to just accept that that happened and move forward, creating better, happier memories.

Psychotherapy intrigues me and scares me at the same time for many reasons. Plus there is the financial consideration and getting the right therapist. I've only had CBT and so far I think the therapists were useless. I know psychotherapy is an entirely different thing but those experiences have made me hesitant.

 

[JJ19]

I don't alter bad or embarassing memories. I do think it important to face them at some point and when I was in the wrong own up to it. But once I've done that I definately prefer to avoid them because they still hurt when they come to mind again.

100% agree. Sadly I ran and hid for far too long, and the longer you do it the harder it becomes to correct.

 

[Kayla55]

You are right with this one in the sense that it's likely not an Asperger's thing at all. I guess I was wondering how common it is, and if it's a sign of fear or weak character. Maybe there is no difference between the two in this scenario I don't know. Got to stop it whatever is causing it.

Sign of distress I think...you trying to act out how you wish you'd react. I was good at maths in high school unusual for a girl but I had stress and dropping out, I couldn't finish the 250 sums (exaggerated but it was a lot) and one day I lay in bed dreaming I got out of bed and finished sums before school. I didn't. Called in sick. Another example is finishing a project working with hands and until I'm finished work , it's like lizard tail my hands still had nerves that moving in sense still working.

It's a psychological process called suppression, we suppress painful memories and go into a flight mode or survival mode. When memories resurface they are painful to accept.
With ASD a social situation can be difficult, anxiety or bullying and it's referred as catatonia...

 

[Kayla55]

Spiderman wears superhero mask....but back at school he is quiet boy.
If you like comics then don't worry so much, it's just your sub and conscious processing

 

[Kayla55]

You cannot truly erase memories. Especailly tramatic memories. They still exist in your subconscious. You have already stated yourself that you repress, which is exactly what it is. Repression is the act of pushing back memories that are particularly harmful to the self to avoid addressing them. Trying to replace the memories with fabricated benine memories, is part of fear of facing one's self, and others, for what truly happened.

It is not healthly to hold on to negative/tramatic memories. But it's equally as harmful, if not more harmful, to repress them. Because you are not addressing the problem. Just running from it. To add another layer with lies in place of the truth, is even more harm added to what harm you've already done.

My sin, in this regard, is blaming myself for everything my parents didn't do to help me during my informative years. That's my lie to cover up the truth that my parents were just crappy at thier job and didn't care how thier emotional/mental neglect affected me. I have made a couple threads that add more context to it.

Yesterday was... eventful

Hallowness and Misery

I've got a problem

All these, overall, exsentuate the type of damage negative self-talk, self-doubt, and self-torment do to the mind of someone who is already mentally vulnerable, like me.

Memories can remain in subconscious for our whole life. Sometimes few memories surface by triggers but this is related more PTSD and is trauma vs catatonia and alexythemia.

I was accused of being crazy during my therapy and due to her being untraditional healer and having healing drops my interpretation was
Dad accused me of being back on drugs and bordering to my mother with schitso crazy theories. Ye, the way I explained things seemed obsurd...but it was the reason and why why that happened that I needed to know.
Some say start of 60s that French asd diagnosis was totally dismissed and many dockets about PTSD were asd females.
My case: our people revenged our lost Hungarian borders by obstructing other colonies with USA. But hardly records but constant civil war between Austria and hungry. Some of my family were relocated during iron fence, many Hungarians were friendly as with Russians harboured more hatred for Austria. Loss of Alaska became karma of mine, and later my father's abuse towards me blaming me for Chernobyl. My karma is to reunify friendship with Russians.
Usually I was just naughty and hit over knuckles with ruler....acceptable form of discipline however not right. I to this day vaguely remember half of what he did to me when I arrived at my mother's house...covered in bruises. But it wasn't over 1 day it was build up and years later when memories surfaced I went into a wobble.
When there are no borders and mixed cultures it can tear families apart, constant arguments from German gran about money (vicious wars in Namibia to pay debts, excl members of family) my step-mother yelling heartless due to loss of Dutch supremacy and suddenly I was ostracised by afrikaaners and felt like a refugee.
My father still does not want to hear a word of my ramblings and when he delves into politics it's subtle and embedded

 

[Kayla55]

Being young it may not be so clear to you that from catatonia you forgot memories of birthday party. It isn't something that you just notice, but with ASD chunks of memories can be missing? Look it up on the forum, it's normal for asd and is different from PTSD. May say it's part of symptoms of a burn out.
For me it was confusing when I went to a spiritual healer....it wasn't just abusive memories but chunks of years of my life...gone.
As said navigating life with ASD is confusing enough without having a messed up family.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Does anybody erase traumatic memories? Sometimes I repress them, although they can come back in very intrusive ways. But sometimes when I have done something wrong, particularly linked to embarrassment I will often rewrite scenarios in my end and constantly tell myself them. Sometimes I just make fresh memories from scratch and repeatedly tell myself they happened. Although contradicting evidence or the truth sometimes resurfaces again intrusively.

However sometimes it creates situations where I genuinely don't know what is true. It's problematic. It's almost like reflexive and habit as well. I know lies of any kind even self-deception is wrong. They are the worst lies actually.

Is there a name for this particular process? Anybody have any helpful links or advice?

I would not recommend erasing any memories
Because they are all part of you and your existence.
If you are in pain and it is not heard that can get to anyone.
I used to get embarrassed really easily because of my sensitive rejection.
I would get so embarrassed all the time and it was really painful esp with trauma because so much could embarrass me.
So much hurts me with disabilities and SRD
It is like if people say I cannot keep up with others then I feel like it is wrong
Jealousy is a big trigger for me.
I can hide my beauty, a lot of things away and dull down my geniune self because i think people can be jealous of beauty. I am always happy to see beautiful women who do not feel afraid of their beauty.
Anything
You can dumb yourself down, think people will question every piece of yourself and it is often to do with the fact people feel inadequate and jealous so I am happy when I meet people who are not prone to those behaviours and habits
I cannot even tell how bad it hurts when someone uses others against you like your pain and trauma and then pretend that it is normal to do that in a way to deceive you and abuse you
Why would someone you love abuse you anyway just to make you fit the boxes of not even good people or more to the point people who geniunely care about you as a person and your happiness and are not geniunely grateful?
If you have had bad hurts in the past how in the world could someone use those hurts against you